u/thedommenextdoor

I went to a meditation retreat with Vinnie Ferraro yesterday. And he said something that reminded me of a lot of the things I hear on here. “we don’t meditate so we don’t have feelings. we don’t meditate so we’re not anxious or we’re not angry or… We meditate so we can sit with our feelings of discomfort without leaving. not having feelings Debbie would be a brain injury.

To me, this is very scary. And I know of this case and this looks very real to me. What do you guys think?

Last night, I was meditating with Matthew Brensilver and this is what he said. He said nothing you can do will ever be as beautiful as what you can’t do.
And I said what the hell are you talking about?
And he said that this just means no pressure
I kind of wish I lived in the old days and I could write a book like words of my perfect teacher.
But instead, I have these conversations
“Deb all this hard work you’re doing is really just greed. You think you want enlightenment but that’s no different than wanting a doughnut.”

It looks like he extracted a hockey puck!

I’ve noticed there is a very good beginner Vipassana episode on 10% happier with Vinnie Ferraro. I love Vinnie. He used to be in prison. He’s a addict improved that improved greatly. Go check them out. I have studied with Vinnie and I go to his Sanga regularly and if you like real and raw, you might like him.

I had kind of a scary awareness. I have a friend right now who has fourth stage esophageal cancer. He will die in the next couple of months, but what I noticed is my symptoms are worse than his. I’m nauseous all the time they give him medication for nausea and it works. I’m asleep more than he is. I’m in pain more than he is. I know there’s a difference because he will be leaving us, but I am amazed that I am sicker than this man dying of cancer.

I am really trying not to complain. But something that bothers me is when someone makes a suggestion that uses energy. Deb, get a hobby. if I had a hobby. It would be being hydrated Debbie you should get a hobby if I had any energy at all my hobby would be making a grilled cheese. My hobby would be taking a shower. My hobby would be going outside for five minutes. What do they think I’m going to do take u juggling I am just so tired of saying the same things it’s not as bad as when people call and I say I’m having a bad health day and they say why same reason for seven years.
In other news, I hope you can read this. Because for some God for sake of reason, my eyesight has really declined over the past two weeks and when can my doctor see me November. OK, thanks for coming to my TED talk