u/therealdanhill

I feel devastated.

19 years, plenty of cheating on her part, she announced her intentions to divorce a few weeks ago. We still live together, neither of us has the money to leave.

She told me that because she wants a divorce and doesn't want to be with me, she can do what she wants. It's just really hurtful and inconsiderate I feel like, I still love her so much, but she refuses to see it that way. She says I'm wrong and since she said her intentions, that's what matters.

I just don't understand how a human being could do that to someone. I really don't. We still sleep in the same bed ffs.

She talked about how she felt a spark with this person that let her know what she is missing with me.

But that's just how new things work. It's going to feel new and fresh and exciting because that person didn't have to go through almost 20 years of hurt and change and work with you. They will say anything that you want to hear because you are having sex with them. They don't have to worry about building anything because the house is already been built, they just get to sleep in it.

She has an exploratory call with a lawyer on the 20th.

I'm having a really hard time.

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/comments/1ugfl4j/just_wanted_to_share_my_story_and_not_feel_so/

I just need to vent about what has been happening to me. Maybe there is someone else that has gone through similar things that can give me advice.

A few weeks ago, my wife of almost 20 years decided to let me know that she wanted a divorce.

She has been unhappy for a long time, I have done everything I can on my end to make her happy, to provide her with a good life. We have 2 children, 17 and 19, both living with us. She has been cheating on me for years, many, many men.

In the ensuing weeks, my wife has gotten very cruel.

She has been drinking to excess on a regular basis for a long time now, this has continued.

She leaves the house to go have sex with other people and does not tell the kids or myself that she has left, where she's left, or if she is coming back. She will just be gone.

She was fired from her job that she had for 15+ years as a nurse because she stopped going.

I just found out the mortgage is behind a couple months, who knows what other bills as well. She is getting unemployment, but isn't really concerned about paying I guess.

Her whole attitude is "I have been a wife and mother for a long time, now it's time to think about myself", she will trot out every justification for her behavior.

She has not filed for divorce yet. I wish she would.

I have no money. I am broke. I work full time, my money just goes to pay the portion of bills that I pay. We own a home, I am not on the title or deed or whatever, but I don't think it matters when it comes to divorce. I don't have money to file or for a lawyer and I make too much to qualify for assistance.

She has turned the kids against me. My son asked me "Are you trying to take the house?" last night - I am not trying to take anything. I didn't want this or ask for this. All I want is enough money to be able to start over.

So to sum up:

* She is a drunk that is abdicating all responsibility, being cruel to me, flaunting her infidelity and drinking and not caring about the kids. She's even having a party here on Saturday. She's having a party while my life is in shambles.

* We still live together, I have no money to leave.

* I have a really bad disability that makes it hard for me to get around. She didn't want to be married to a cripple.

* She's manipulated our kids to view me as the bad guy.

Is there anyone else that has been in a similar situation?

Married for such a long time, the cheating, the manipulation of you and your kids, the disability, the cruelty? I feel so alone and like my situation is one in a million, but I don't know if that's really the case.

I think a lot of us have had the feeling of "they did this horrible thing to me, I'm going to get back at them". I know for me, I've flirted with the idea of ruining her life to the degree that I'm able, but ultimately I don't want to have any regret.

But I thought it would be interesting to hear from people that posted the screenshots of the illicit texts publicly, or shared what their SO did to them with the broader world. Did it bring you any comfort, was it worth it?

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/s/PeAqf6XLl7

So I got in touch with a lawyer today and he told me that there's nothing he could really do until my wife actually files for the divorce. At that point, call him back and we can get to work, and in the meantime don't move out.

I'm just looking to get an idea from people that have been in this situation before like, how much is this going to cost me?

I don't have any money but I also make too much to qualify for any legal assistance.

The only real asset we have is the house. She of course is not going to want to sell it and give me anything, but I'm in an equitable division state, I think she will have to in order to pay me what I need to start over. I want to get enough to get my own place, furnish it, etc., I'm starting from nothing.

I know it's not official legal advice, I'm just looking for opinions.

Thank you

Just wanted to share my story and not feel so alone

I am going through a really bad time. The worst in my life. I don't have anyone to talk to, so this is as good a place as any. I know people will say I'm stupid and whatever other mean stuff, if you have to do that, I understand. But I just need to get this out there and off of my shoulders.

I have been married almost 20 years. I've always been faithful, I've always loved my wife with everything I have, she, along with our two kids, are my world. All I ever wanted was a family. I've lived a life marked with abuse of all kinds, and never feeling like I belonged.

Six or so years ago, my wife began cheating on me. At least, what I know about.

A few years ago, my wife's best friend reached out to me to let me know what was going on, that it was several men, including her husband. Another of her friends reached out to me, letting me know my wife had slept with her husband as well. At that time, with what they knew, it was around 6 different men.

My wife's best friend's husband, well, my wife had sex with him at my Dad's apartment on his couch, while my Dad was in the hospital and not doing well, she had a key. If someone were trying to write a story about what is a very cruel thing you could do to another person, I don't even know if they would go that far.

Another time, she sent my daughter's friend racy pictures of her. My daughter's friend was at the time only 19 or 20 years old, my wife at the time was over 40.

Another time, I caught her making out with another man at a bar, I walked in on it.

Another time at a different bar, I walked in on her sitting next to and holding onto another man. She immediately blamed me, and told me I am suffocating her and never let her do anything, and I don't trust her.

We tried marriage counseling. She stopped going once the topic turned to her infidelity, it made her uncomfortable. I did my best to put it behind me and start over.

Then, there was a Super Bowl party at my cousin's house. She went into the bathroom with another man who bent her over the sink. At my cousin's house, with her kids there and everything. My cousin gave her some time to come clean on her own, she didn't, so my cousin let me know what happened.

I have saved facebook messages of her from men, asking things like "When are you going to suck my dick again", etc.

\-------------------------------

This all came to a head the other night. I try not to get emotional, but I did. I cried. We were both in bed. She turned to me, completely annoyed, and said "Is there anything I can \\\_do\\\_ for you?", just kind of a "shut up" response. That hurt pretty bad, it was just cruel. I asked her about it yesterday, she told me she thought I was "faking" it for attention.

I wasn't. I had called the self-harm hotline because I was very close to doing something bad. I had written a note that I was going to leave on her bedside table, I was going to the garage to hang myself.

I just don't understand how a human being can be so cruel to another human being, even outside the context of having taken vows to cherish and for better or worse.

\--------------------------------------

I know the reaction will be that I need to leave. I promise, I am not unintelligent overall, but in this area I know I'm stupid, I know what I need to do and am doing it.

I have been with my wife for my entire adult life. This is all I have known.

I have reached out to a couple lawyers. On a practical note though, I have nothing. I have a job, but I have no savings. We own a home, but my name is not on it. When we divorce, I would be homeless, I don't have anywhere to go or any way to get a place of my own, no friends or family to help.

I also have a really bad disability, I have what's called Charcot Marie Tooth disease, basically my feet are deformed and I have trouble getting around, it's very painful.

Being very visibly crippled, and being 40, my feeling is I will never be with anyone again - I will live alone for some period of time and die alone. Nobody is going to want to be with me. I had my one shot at something in this world, and now it's over.

As much as it hurts, I have to understand that my wife doesn't want to live the rest of her life with a cripple, regardless of how much I've loved her.

So I am now just looking at a future where there is nothing good. I am hollowed out, I am as low as I have ever been.

I just wanted to share what's happened to me, because it's so fucking hard to carry this on my own. I am a good man, I don't feel like I deserve this to be happening. My entire world is crumbling.

Yes, I am working on getting out, again I have calls out to multiple lawyers but none of them are getting back to me.

I guess I am just looking to feel like I'm not out in the middle of an ocean alone, even though I am.

Thank you for listening.

​

I am going through a really bad time. The worst in my life. I don't have anyone to talk to, so this is as good a place as any. I know people will say I'm stupid and whatever other mean stuff, if you have to do that, I understand. But I just need to get this out there and off of my shoulders.

I have been married almost 20 years. I've always been faithful, I've always loved my wife with everything I have, she, along with our two kids, are my world. All I ever wanted was a family. I've lived a life marked with abuse of all kinds, and never feeling like I belonged.

Six or so years ago, my wife began cheating on me. At least, what I know about.

A few years ago, my wife's best friend reached out to me to let me know what was going on, that it was several men, including her husband. Another of her friends reached out to me, letting me know my wife had slept with her husband as well. At that time, with what they knew, it was around 6 different men.

My wife's best friend's husband, well, my wife had sex with him at my Dad's apartment on his couch, while my Dad was in the hospital and not doing well, she had a key. If someone were trying to write a story about what is a very cruel thing you could do to another person, I don't even know if they would go that far.

Another time, she sent my daughter's friend racy pictures of her. My daughter's friend was at the time only 19 or 20 years old, my wife at the time was over 40.

Another time, I caught her making out with another man at a bar, I walked in on it.

Another time at a different bar, I walked in on her sitting next to and holding onto another man. She immediately blamed me, and told me I am suffocating her and never let her do anything, and I don't trust her.

We tried marriage counseling. She stopped going once the topic turned to her infidelity, it made her uncomfortable. I did my best to put it behind me and start over.

Then, there was a Super Bowl party at my cousin's house. She went into the bathroom with another man who bent her over the sink. At my cousin's house, with her kids there and everything. My cousin gave her some time to come clean on her own, she didn't, so my cousin let me know what happened.

I have saved facebook messages of her from men, asking things like "When are you going to suck my dick again", etc.

\-------------------------------

This all came to a head the other night. I try not to get emotional, but I did. I cried. We were both in bed. She turned to me, completely annoyed, and said "Is there anything I can \\\_do\\\_ for you?", just kind of a "shut up" response. That hurt pretty bad, it was just cruel. I asked her about it yesterday, she told me she thought I was "faking" it for attention.

I wasn't. I had called the self-harm hotline because I was very close to doing something bad. I had written a note that I was going to leave on her bedside table, I was going to the garage to hang myself.

I just don't understand how a human being can be so cruel to another human being, even outside the context of having taken vows to cherish and for better or worse.

\--------------------------------------

I know the reaction will be that I need to leave. I promise, I am not unintelligent overall, but in this area I know I'm stupid, I know what I need to do and am doing it.

I have been with my wife for my entire adult life. This is all I have known.

I have reached out to a couple lawyers. On a practical note though, I have nothing. I have a job, but I have no savings. We own a home, but my name is not on it. When we divorce, I would be homeless, I don't have anywhere to go or any way to get a place of my own, no friends or family to help.

I also have a really bad disability, I have what's called Charcot Marie Tooth disease, basically my feet are deformed and I have trouble getting around, it's very painful.

Being very visibly crippled, and being 40, my feeling is I will never be with anyone again - I will live alone for some period of time and die alone. Nobody is going to want to be with me. I had my one shot at something in this world, and now it's over.

As much as it hurts, I have to understand that my wife doesn't want to live the rest of her life with a cripple, regardless of how much I've loved her.

So I am now just looking at a future where there is nothing good. I am hollowed out, I am as low as I have ever been.

I just wanted to share what's happened to me, because it's so fucking hard to carry this on my own. I am a good man, I don't feel like I deserve this to be happening. My entire world is crumbling.

Yes, I am working on getting out, again I have calls out to multiple lawyers but none of them are getting back to me.

I guess I am just looking to feel like I'm not out in the middle of an ocean alone, even though I am.

Thank you for listening.

I am going through a really bad time. The worst in my life. I don't have anyone to talk to, so this is as good a place as any. I know people will say I'm stupid and whatever other mean stuff, if you have to do that, I understand. But I just need to get this out there and off of my shoulders.

I have been married almost 20 years. I've always been faithful, I've always loved my wife with everything I have, she, along with our two kids, are my world. All I ever wanted was a family. I've lived a life marked with abuse of all kinds, and never feeling like I belonged.

Six or so years ago, my wife began cheating on me. At least, what I know about.

A few years ago, my wife's best friend reached out to me to let me know what was going on, that it was several men, including her husband. Another of her friends reached out to me, letting me know my wife had slept with her husband as well. At that time, with what they knew, it was around 6 different men.

My wife's best friend's husband, well, my wife had sex with him at my Dad's apartment on his couch, while my Dad was in the hospital and not doing well, she had a key. If someone were trying to write a story about what is a very cruel thing you could do to another person, I don't even know if they would go that far.

Another time, she sent my daughter's friend racy pictures of her. My daughter's friend was at the time only 19 or 20 years old, my wife at the time was over 40.

Another time, I caught her making out with another man at a bar, I walked in on it.

Another time at a different bar, I walked in on her sitting next to and holding onto another man. She immediately blamed me, and told me I am suffocating her and never let her do anything, and I don't trust her.

We tried marriage counseling. She stopped going once the topic turned to her infidelity, it made her uncomfortable. I did my best to put it behind me and start over.

Then, there was a Super Bowl party at my cousin's house. She went into the bathroom with another man who bent her over the sink. At my cousin's house, with her kids there and everything. My cousin gave her some time to come clean on her own, she didn't, so my cousin let me know what happened.

I have saved facebook messages of her from men, asking things like "When are you going to suck my dick again", etc.

-------------------------------

This all came to a head the other night. I try not to get emotional, but I did. I cried. We were both in bed. She turned to me, completely annoyed, and said "Is there anything I can _do_ for you?", just kind of a "shut up" response. That hurt pretty bad, it was just cruel. I asked her about it yesterday, she told me she thought I was "faking" it for attention.

I wasn't. I had called the self-harm hotline because I was very close to doing something bad. I had written a note that I was going to leave on her bedside table, I was going to the garage to hang myself.

I just don't understand how a human being can be so cruel to another human being, even outside the context of having taken vows to cherish and for better or worse.

--------------------------------------

I know the reaction will be that I need to leave. I promise, I am not unintelligent overall, but in this area I know I'm stupid, I know what I need to do and am doing it.

I have been with my wife for my entire adult life. This is all I have known.

I have reached out to a couple lawyers. On a practical note though, I have nothing. I have a job, but I have no savings. We own a home, but my name is not on it. When we divorce, I would be homeless, I don't have anywhere to go or any way to get a place of my own, no friends or family to help.

I also have a really bad disability, I have what's called Charcot Marie Tooth disease, basically my feet are deformed and I have trouble getting around, it's very painful.

Being very visibly crippled, and being 40, my feeling is I will never be with anyone again - I will live alone for some period of time and die alone. Nobody is going to want to be with me. I had my one shot at something in this world, and now it's over.

As much as it hurts, I have to understand that my wife doesn't want to live the rest of her life with a cripple, regardless of how much I've loved her.

So I am now just looking at a future where there is nothing good. I am hollowed out, I am as low as I have ever been.

I just wanted to share what's happened to me, because it's so fucking hard to carry this on my own. I am a good man, I don't feel like I deserve this to be happening. My entire world is crumbling.

Yes, I am working on getting out, again I have calls out to multiple lawyers but none of them are getting back to me.

I guess I am just looking to feel like I'm not out in the middle of an ocean alone, even though I am.

Thank you for listening.

Tl;Dr bad stuff, dark place, divorce incoming with unique circumstances that have me worried

They finished the high split upgraded my area but I'm seeing the same speeds that I usually do and nobody at Spectrum support seems to know what high split is or what was upgraded, does anyone have any advice?

The highest tier plan I have here is 1000mbps which I have.

Holy shit, this guy is just really stupid. It's crazy how low the bar is.

There's an "orgy of socialism" because of the mayors of Seattle and NY.

He just talks but there's absolutely no real substance or understanding behind his words. He says things to be perceived a certain way, not because he believes it or has an understanding of it.

If there's any hiring managers here, he talks like someone floundering in a job interview that is trying to make stuff up on the spot.

"We need to have an election against both sides", he gives away the game there.