u/thisnameisuniqueaf

Johnnie Walker Red

I won't get into all the details. In a nutshell, my dad has physically abused me while I was recovering from a car accident, abused my brother for stimming because he's autistic, and has been racist, homophobic, and transphobic. I am a trans guy and queer. I also came out to him in this message I sent, so. Yeah I'm just gonna turn off my phone for the night, drink a bit, and play some Twilight Princess.

Also if anyone has played this game and has any tips on how to escort Iliana to Kakariko Village without losing their mind, please let me know.

Pictured: homemade masala chai that i made in a pot, sorry for the spill marks on the mug, chai is hard to pour from a pot.

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On Friday, I spent an hour writing a long message to send to my father about how he's been abusive and how I don't want to talk to him anymore. Saturday morning, I had a feeling I shouldn't send the message. Saturday night, my grandfather died. Funeral on Saturday.

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I don't even know what I'm going to wear. I guess I have a black blazer but I only have dark grey formal pants and I also don't have any more money to buy clothes for the funeral. I just really fucking miss that man. I know he was old but I wish I could talk to him one more time.

He is also very Christian, and has been trying to get me to be a Christian again ever since I told him I'm not anymore. I just don't understand this reaction, like how was I being rude? All I said is I wasn't interested? And to be fair, if this "hurts" him, I fear that he will be in even more pain when I tell him I am trans and queer. AIO?

Also, right now my gut instinct is to tell him everything I've been feeling. If you want, you can look at my post history from the time I was 16 (I'm turning 23 next month) and see how this man has treated me.

Edit: here are posts I made from the time I was 16 to present day about my father:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/2BBR8d8V4I - Dad being racist

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/cLTmpSuQ3q - Dad acting weird because I don't have a feminine haircut

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/iYOJte2dyb - Dad being an asshole (post is self-explanatory, this still makes me furious to this day)

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/LtPIhBRDRm - Dad gets mad because I needed to go to the bathroom when he wanted to talk to me

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/9w70spt43e - both mom and dad being weird about my beliefs

https://www.reddit.com/r/Exvangelical/s/46iYANuDSu - trying to bring me back to Christianity by saying I've "slipped so far" from God