u/throwawayyyy954652

My partner (35M) is a PGY-3 in his last year of residency and we have been together for 4 years. I tried to talk about getting engaged around our 3rd anniversary based on conversations we had in the past, but he shut things down and was kind of awful about the experience. I stayed and tried to work things out knowing that I would regret not trying. This past year he has been calmer and kinder but I also stopped brining up things I need and want. When I do, we fight again. We are in couples therapy (on and off) because scheduling is so hard. He randomly took me ring shopping a few months ago without any conversation. I brought it up in couples therapy last week and he said that he sees us getting engaged in the next year and married within a year of being engaged. I feel like we have some conversations around communicating and emotional intimacy that need to happen first, but trying to set my expectations to be realistic with a resident. Anyone have tips or advice? Would love to hear how you guys went about things.

I have had acanthosis nigricans (dark ring around neck) since I was 13. I never had a doctor check for insulin resistance because I knew that's what it was. My mom is T2DM and was when she was pregnant with me (so high risk). That being said my a1c has always been between 5.4-5.6. Lately I started metformin to help with it and my sugar cravings, I exercise everyday (walking, strength training, pickleball) and somehow the ring around my neck is getting darker and darker. Does anyone have experience with this?

I’m guessing this has to do with AI, but wondering if anyone else can speak to this?

Hi all! I was referred to an allergist who was charging $800 with insurance for allergy testing and it was across 4 visits. After my first visit I was told the cash price for testing would have been only $150. I was so frustrated and walked out. Wondering if anyone has better recommendations?

My partner (34FPGY3) is constantly checked out. We used to at least talk about her work when she got home but I (35F) started to get exhausted by listening with 0 room for my own life so I started asking for a little more attention; when that didn’t work, I began to engage a little less. She now doesn’t talk to me about work but just doesn’t talk to me at all. She’ll sometimes ask a question and she’s walked away before I even answer, she asks me a question and stops listening before I can get 1-2 sentences out. I feel so sad and lonely and obviously this has impacted our intimacy too. At best we have sex once a month, at worst it’s 3-4 months in between. I know she’s working hard but I just struggle being in a relationship with someone who’s not present in any way shape or form.

Also last month she took me ring shopping without talking to me about it at all, and when I asked her if we could talk about timeline/ future plans she just told me not to worry about it. I don’t understand how she wants to get engaged to someone she doesn’t even want to talk to most days? Is this normal for mid/end of residency? Just burn out??

Has anyone with rectum endo experienced having a perianal abscess? I had surgery 2 months ago and since I have had rectum pain, I thought it was just a hemorrhoid but this week it filled with fluid and is pussy and extra painful. My partner drained some of it at home (she works in healthcare) but there’s a hard sac still present and it’s tender to
Touch / sit.

My partner (34NB) and I (35F) have been together for 4 years, living together for 2. A few days ago they woke up and told me they had a sex dream about a colleague. The colleague is married with kids and super religious so I really didn't think anything of it. I laughed with my partner, bonded over how weird our brains can be. She texted me from work about how she bumped into that same coworker and she felt so weird. Again, I felt like this was a normal and a little embarrassing life moment, nothing to be worried about. About a day later when my partner and I were winding down for bed, they cuddled me from behind and did what they usually do when they're trying to initiate. BUT they started talking about how they got head in their dream and it turned them on and I immediately felt sick. I don't think I care that they might be attracted to this person or dream about them, but saying those things to me while trying to be intimate with me felt so disrespectful. I talked to them about it and they were receptive in the moment and thanked me for sharing my feelings, but now they're starting to have express alot of feelings about our intimacy and how they feel like the pressure is all on them (its not) and how they feel overly criticized because of my feelings?

I feel like even for someone who is sex positive, this moment was just icky and wondering if anyone in a LTR has experienced something similar and what you did to process your feelings and was there anything your partner could have done to make you feel more secure?

Hi! I started an OCP back in march that gave me the most relief I have had for my endo symptoms. I started to be a little more functional and during my lap in May I had an IUD inserted to help manage the endo. Since my lap I have continued to take OCP continuously because I refuse to have another period. this last week I started spotting heavily and cramping almost constantly around my uterus and ovaries. I am concerned that at this stage in recovery I am feeling worse. Additionally before lap, OCP was helping with mood management, but this last week I feel like I have PMS/PMDD, when I haven't had these symptoms sine March. Any advice or thoughts on what to ask my doctor specifically?

Hi friends! I had a lap 6 weeks ago, stage 4 DIE. Recovery has been great, I'm really grateful. During the lap I had them place an IUD as well and I take daily oral contraceptive. All things considered after the first few weeks of spotting post surgery I have not bled, UNLESS I am driving. Something about the strain on my pelvic floor while driving seems to cause me to bleed. Not sure if anyone else experienced this? I plan to talk to my doctor about it but still need to schedule an appointment.

My partner and I have been together for 5 years, are in our mid-30s and we're both in demanding careers. I know my partner is burnt out, they keep telling me how exhausted they are and they're working 80+ hours a week, 6-7 days a week so I am completely understanding. For a long time (years at this point), I was ok with being the one who would initiate sex and take care of both of us. Lately, even if I initiate, they come and knock out or move onto something else right away. This has been happening for months. Recently, I asked them if they were going to talk to me about it, even joked 'when do I get to come', We both giggled and she said she knows she should talk to me and she's going to. That was 3 weeks ago and since we just haven't had sex at all. I don't feel comfortable initiating if it means she comes and I don't, but it left me feeling even worse because now we just don't have any intimacy. Our anniversary just happened this week and we didn't even make out or cuddle let alone try to be intimate and it's making me so sad.

I feel unwanted and like they don't have the energy to put effort into my pleasure, which happens but then I think it's their job to communicate. Also we've had an open dynamic in the past, would it be rude or mean to bring that up as a solution if she doesn't want to or cannot engage with me physically?

I went to my post-op appointment 2 weeks after surgery. I still couldn't drive, sit or stand for extended periods of time at this point. She was running late, came into the room, jumped right in and said yup we found endo here, here, and here and then told me how far it had spread, that I need a colorectal surgeon to get the rest because it was too far into my rectum and bowel for her to comfortably operate and we were done. I came home and read her surgery note in more detail and it was so clear that this was stage 4 DIE, it was all over my pelvic walls, it was attaching my organs together, and it was all over my bladder. I get that it's not totally her job to process this with me, but I feel like some validation of how bad it really was would have been so helpful. I'm trying to self-soothe and also process that I need another surgery when I'm less than a month out of my first one... just needed a second to rant and be sad

Just started reading a fic where Hayden asks Shane to cover for him during a blind date with a man. Hayden is from some rich family and needs Shane to cover for him on his second anniversary with Jacki. It was such an interesting premise but I opened it in tumblr instead of my browser and lost it. Anyone know what I’m talking about?