u/throwraW2

I see a lot of posts about budgeting and fun money when one partner makes more. The consensus is always something along the lines of “when you’re married it’s both your money”.

But what about when it’s definitely not both your money? Both legally and spiritually. In my marriage one spouse has 10x the other’s net worth in a separate account that is 100% not commingled and not marital property. In this case the other spouse comes from a poorer family and will never inherit significant funds.

What’s fair in terms of budgeting and discretionary spending a situation like that when both are still working? First marriage, no outside children. Asking in terms of marriage, not the law.

Was trying to just search the sub, but only finding things about the company Ramp.

I have two offers. One has much higher base/ote (125/250) but their ramp pay is very weak. Effectively about 3k/month for 3 months when the sales cycle I was told is 5-8 months.

Other offer is Lower base/ote (90/180)but 12 month ramp, 1st quarter fully paid, second 70%, 3rd 40%, 4th 25.

I received the smaller offer first so was expecting something similar when the second offer came through. Am I just naive on how most ramps are or was the first offer especially generous about it? I was originally really hyped about the bigger offer company but this now gives me some doubt.

Coming off of a layoff so don’t have a ton of leverage here.

Off on smoker since senior year of high school here, now 31. Would often take breaks for months at a time but always end up back on the wagon. Never really seemed to cause issues in my life as Ive always had my life generally together, but I did notice in the last year my short term memory feels a bit worse. Probably a combo of the weed and using my phone too much tbh.

Anyway, the wife and I are planning to start to try for a baby in a few months and I read alot about how thc not only impacts sperm count, but also sperm quality, and can lead to more miscarriages and even some early research showing higher rates of learning disabilities when the father smokes. Apparently takes about 75-90 days to get everything out of your sperm so that clock started for me about a week ago.

Anyone else quit for a similar reason? At first I thought of it maybe as a break but I also been thinking and even just in the last week, Ive been reading way more than I used to, which has been fun. Also while I thought maybe Id just quit til I get her pregnant, the more I thought about that, the dumber it sounded. Why be high with a baby or high when my wife is preggo and might need and emergency trip to the hospital..just doesnt sound smart.

Not really trying to rant here, but just curious how many people are in a similar boat.

I know its still federally illegal in the US, but 24 states have legalized it and medical is legal in 40. Over half of Americans live in the states where its fully legal. Meanwhile I travel to Europe pretty regularly and it always surprises me how strict most of it still is. Only 4 countries over there have legalized it (Germany, Malta, Luxembourg, and now Czech Republic), which works out to something like 20% of the EU population vs over half of Americans. And even in those countries there are no actual stores, just grow-your-own and these nonprofit clubs you have to join. The entire legal cannabis market in Europe is under $2 billion a year while the US is over $30 billion. Get caught with a small amount in France or most of Eastern Europe and you can still catch a real charge.

What I don't get is that Europe is usually painted as the more progressive side of the Atlantic on almost everything, universal healthcare, drug decriminalization in Portugal, all of that. So why is weed the one thing where the US is way ahead? Is it a legal thing with the EU, a cultural thing, or something else I'm missing?

Seriously. The guy has said and done plenty of things people could criticize him for, but every post about him still gets flooded with couch jokes.

At this point, it just makes his critics look unserious. His supporters get to wave everything away as "the people who think he fucked a couch," and actual criticism gets buried.

The joke was funny for a week. 2 years later its still the top comment on most posts and that just helps him. It's basically become a useful distraction from the stuff that actually matters.

Recently received an offer and still in late stages for another one, where both would have me going on site more than I’m used to. In past roles I’ve done a few conferences but travel was never more than 2-3 times a year. In both these roles it’ll be more like 1-2 times a month.

I’m excited for it but also after being remote so long I’ve realized my wardrobe definitely needs a refresh. Where are you guys buying your clothes? I’ve been told the vibe for both roles is business casual with the most formal being a sport coat.

Thanks in advance

For some background: Wife and I have been married about 2 years, no kids yet, but plans to start trying in the next year. My wife's family is pretty well off. She has a relative who gives her money in an investment account every year that has a couple hundred thousand in it. She will probably inherit a significant amount in the next couple years when that relative dies as well. Not millions, but not insignificant. She made more the first few years after college than me, had her Ivy league college completely paid for while I still have some student loans from my average school, so she's worth about 200k more than me.

I was unfortunately laid off about 3 months ago and have been treating job searching as my full time job. Prior to the layoff, I made about 30k more than her, but net worth wise she's way ahead of me. It felt good that even though she had more money than me, I was making more and slowly catching up.

I just got my first full time offer yesterday for a role that would pay less than my previous one. Its not a bad job, just not exciting at all. The company is large, relatively stable but in a field that bores me. Financially, we'd be making about the same amount if I accepted. Im also in late rounds at another one that would pay about 80% more. The job genuinely excites me way more. Its an industry I know well and enjoy. I also love the prospect of hitting my own financial goals with the salary it pays and no longer having the dynamic we currently have. Ive always been a very career motivated person and both the pay and title would be a big step up.

My wife is annoyed that I would consider taking the higher paying one given the company is younger and seems a little more volatile and would have more travel (about an additional 2-3 days a month). She wants me to take the safer option especially given our future plans.

I get her thinking but I want to stay at my next job atleast 4-5 years and I cant help but that Id probably be bored at this job the whole time, and financially I'll never really catch up. Yeah we can officially combine main bank checking and savings accounts, but the investment accounts/401k in her name, plus anything she inherits will be all hers. There's just this weird dynamic where even though were a team, she's way ahead of me so any major decision like moving, buying a house, or other large purchase has to take into account money that is legally just hers/no equal claim if things dont work out.

Am I just being totally immature here or is my position understandable? we talked about it and she thinks its weird that I even care that she has more even though she acknowledges that it being separate makes it hers if anything happened (our marriage is great, no actual worries about divorce but shit happens). She didnt quite say it but it seems she thinks im being selfish and immature for wanting to pursue the higher paying one . I've told her its not just financial but also Id enjoy the other job more but she thinks thats less important and its clear she thinks this is just an ego play.

TLDR: My wife has family money that shifts our marital dynamic a bit. I have 2 potential jobs and she doesnt understand why I'd take the riskier one with larger upside given the security her family money gives us.

Coming off a layoff and have offers from both companies.

Rippling pays a good amount more 117.5/235 and will be remote until March when their office opens then will be hybrid. Commute will be about an hour each way via public transit.

Samsara pays less, 90 base 170 OTE but has higher marks for quota attainment and better benefits, especially paternity leave which is great because my wife and I plan to start building our family in the next year. Fully remote with 25% travel, I dont mind the travel and enjoy remote day-to-day.

Main reason I’m not forsure going with the money is I’ve heard rippling is a pip factory and I’m afraid of another short stint if things don’t go well. I’ve heard samsara is a grind but haven’t heard much about layoffs. My wife makes good money and we've both saved a lot these past few years, so money is not my main priority. At this point in life I care more about job security, culture, and what would look better on my resume 4 years from now. Both seem great on PMF so I’ll consider that a tie.

Anyone have experiences with either that would be worth considering?

About 15 months ago I made the mistake of leaving a role that I felt I was stagnating at, but I was making decent money. Was there about 4 years and company wasnt doing great so hadnt gotten a raise in 3 years. They also had a million layoffs so by the end I was basically the AE and CSM. Had an OTE of 150k but made about 160k the last two years I was there. Company felt like a sinking ship but they're still chugging along. Unfortunately not bring on anyone new though.

I left for a OTE and base bump of 100/200, was hitting targets then a new CRO came in and cut half the team including me. Found a new job in about 2 months for 105/210 but it was an early stage Series A that was swearing they'd raise a Series B within months of my start date. That didnt happen and last month I got laid off again. Fucking sucks having two stragiht sub year stints to explain and its making me get rejected without a phone screen from tons of jobs I hit all qualifications for.

Im in round 4/5 of a company that would pay about the same as I was making, but besides that Im basically at square 1 job search wise if I dont get that one. I was mass applyign and a few got back to me but are about 140k OTE and at this point I cant tell if I should just suck it up and make less for a few years or try to hold out a little longer. Im 32 now and didnt picture my career being like this last year. I have a good amount of savings, and my wife makes good money but Im afraid of being out too long.

Anyone here been through something like this? How long would you keep looking for a job on par with what you had vs just settling to get something? My real fear of taking one of those 140k ote jobs is being at another place where nobody hits quota and I really end up capping my earnings at like 120 the next 3 years, because I definitely want to stay a while at my next job. But also I know that beats 0k a year.

Recently had a phone screen with Block. I was laid off last week so I need a job but want to try to be selective at least a few months. Anyone here worked there before?

I’ll be honest, so far it seems like it might be pretty soulless. Was told it’s 97% outbound with maybe 1-3 deals a year coming inbound. Honestly selling a payments feature all outbound sounds like it could get pretty soulless. Am I correct there or is it actually not that bad? The comp was in line with what I’m looking for, I just don’t want a job that would be miserable.

A little over a year ago I made the biggest career mistake of my life and left a role I had been hitting quota at for 3 years to chase a higher OTE. 6 months into that role they laid off half the team including me and my manager. I was hitting goals and making good money so it wasn’t performance based.

Took me about 2 months to land a new job but it was a Series A company I was already nervous about but the job market was weak so it felt better than nothing. Then yesterday I was told I’m being laid off with 20% of the company. Again, not performance based just the company needed more runway since fundraise talks weren’t going great.

How the hell do I explain this in interviews? At both jobs higher ups said they’ll be references for me but getting even a phone screen is going to be so hard given the two straight short stints. Anyone been in this situation? What the fuck should I even do? I feel like the only companies that would give me a shot are more shitty early stage ones where this will happen again but all I want is a good mature company to work for and ideally stay at 5+ years.