u/throwsway9191

So I’ve been at my gym for quite some time and I’m a upper belt but lately with the new instructor who has taken over since last year it hasn’t been the same here’s my complaints:

- we don’t roll much anymore, we only get an hour and 45-50 mins is spent on technique and then MAYBE we get 2 free rolls rounds but a lot of the times it usually positional round or two then a free roll and I understand the importance of working from certain positions but that’s what a free roll can be used for, I don’t think it’s fair to make everyone always do positional rolls because what if someone is trying to work on something else specific? I like to work my stand up

- due to not much rolling me and others feels we aren’t getting as good as workout in or we feel we’re getting rusty due to not being able to practice with resistance, we told oh just come to open mat on the weekends but not all of us can make it plus it’s at a very inconvenient time which is why turn out is super low like 3-4 people max

- This new black belt that occasionally covers for the other one micro managed me the other day and it irritated me: a teenager who has been going bjj for a year was curious about competing but he’s not sure where to start or how to find tournaments and obviously with me being a higher belt I answered his question which me and him only took a 15 second break while drilling a guard pass and the black belt comes over and gets snippy saying “Stop talking! Drill!” And I’m like wtf 😳 it’s not like we were bullshitting the whole time and I was answering a legit question plus nobody shouldn’t be micromanaging anyone we are all grown and we’re not a job if anything we’re paying that new black belt to be here basically though our gym fees plus during the whole time he didn’t look interested at all to be there

So idk I’m at a crossroads some are telling me to just wait until I get promoted to start looking around for another gym since I’m super close to the next belt but at this point I could care less about the belt considering how I’m getting very annoyed and I’m losing motivation to even come to class which is why I’ve been showing up kind of late because I’m not excited to come anymore. What do you folks think or what would you do? Me and others feel the same way we wish we had our old coach back but he retired

Seen these on a page on TikTok and Hood maps

Anyone got pics and history from:

Treinta Seis 36st

East side sycos trece

Oak set 34st

Wbp 44st

Backdoe money gang

Hoover loco Terrance

Brothers til death bloods

Can anyone tell me the history of these hoods? Can’t find much on them and can anyone post pics?

My journey so far into ethical non monogamy and the lessons I’ve learned from it

So I’m posting to hopefully help out others that are curious about ENM or are new to ENM

Context: Last month me and my girlfriend at the time(now wife) were chatting and thx to some cold meds that had me very wired 🤣 I blurted out that I was Open to watching her do stuff with another crossdresser or pantyhose wearer(I’m a crossdresser and she’s very supportive and turned on by it), of course my heart dropped and I got scared because I was super worried I fucked everything up but then she also nervously admitted she also had thoughts about wanting to do threesomes so after a long few hours talk she sat up a dating profile on Facebook and I returned to fetlife and the rest is history. We have met two people so far with a third happening soon and heres the lessons I learned so far and that will hopefully help others 😊

1. you will feel a lot of different emotions some are great and some are nerve racking and that’s okay: me and my wife felt a lot of different emotions before our first threesome and definitely after

2.The first threesome is likely going to be more awkward and nerve racking than super sexy so don’t let the first experience convince you all future experiences are going to be like that,every experience is different

3.obviously establish boundaries/rules immediately but also accept that those can evolve: for example our main rule is No women at all(only woman I’m attracted to is my wife and she’s the only woman I ever felt comfortable with and I don’t even look at other women 🤣) and we would only do crossdressers or transgenders but we then said later on that we’re totally open to bi guys and we also at first said no married guys or crossdressers but now we said as long as their spouse knows and is fine with them seeing us then it’s fine with us so those rules did evolve but our rule of no women still stays Plus I would absolutely not be comfortable with another woman that isn’t my wife

4. DO NOT DO ENM if you have a lot of relationship conflict! Fix your problems first!; I cannot stress this enough as this is where many couples fuck up on, they use ENM/Swinging to save their relationship which is the worst thing to do, fix your problems first because this kind of relationship needs alot of trust and stability, there was a time period where me and my wife had a very rough patch and looking back at it, we admit if we did this lifestyle while we still were fighting bad that none of this would work out and would make things worse and cause major insecurity, we fixed our relationship long before we decided to do ethical non monogamy

5.After care Is important!!! The first thing me and my wife do when we get home after every encounter is lay down and cuddle in the dark and talk because threesomes give us a major adrenaline rush and dump afterwards also we like to talk about what we like,didn’t like or what we want to try next, also aftercare is important if you’re partner got overstimulated. One night after one of our threesomes I got overstimulated and felt like I failed and didn’t perform good but after some cuddling and deep talks I was good as new

6.Once you start ENM there’s no more hiding anything! If you’re bedroom is open then so must be your thoughts! Deep talks are non negotiable! This doesn’t only apply to sexual talk but also emotions and other stuff in your relationship

7. Bluechew/viagra/other pills are great but they’re not magic: I admit when it’s me and my wife by ourselves I’m hard instantly and non stop but during threesomes I have a hard time maintaining an erection most of the time even when I take blue chew and while these pills help with nerves they can only do so much at the end of the day it’s a mental thing and learning to adapt which leads me to my next point

8. for my gurls/trans tops and to the men: it’s okay if you don’t get hard during a threesome! Penetration is not the end all to end all, remember you got your hands and mouths 😜 so use them! My wife says my pussy eating skills are insane and other partners said I can suck a cock like no tommorow! I stay soft a lot due to nerves but I still enjoy myself and I’m a very oral person and knowing im satisfying my wife and our threesome partner is more than enough to make me happy,I used to beat myself up for not getting hard now I’m just like oh well 🤷

9. Get tested as much as possible ( self explanatory)

10. ethical non monogamy doesn’t mean do whatever you want! theres rules and boundaries for a reason! It is called ETHICAL non monogamy for a reason

11. Respect your spouse and partners choices

12. It is not a competition between you and your spouse! Some partners might be more into your spouse some might be more into you and that’s okay! The important part is as long as your third partner wants you both in the bedroom

13. Have fun exploring what role you take in the bedroom during threesomes: me I get the most turned on watching my wife suck another cock while I lay there and jerk off and then cum on her or our partner and I’m totally fine with this kind of role as I love to watch and then after that I get right to work with my oral skills on both

14. Your relationship/marriage comes first!: Never forget your and your spouse time together yes threesomes are fun but always prioritize your main relationship and take a day where it’s only you and your spouse dont let threesomes and meetups Make your forget you and your wife’s/husband’s date nights or nights in ❤️

What would you do? So the other day my gf(48) told me(M28) that she got on Facebook dating and made a profile for the friends feature because her psychiatrist told her that needs more friends. She then said that she deleted it because she was getting messages and felt like this is a bad idea and then she swears she was only looking for women or gay men and not regular men to go hang out with. Also as with Facebook dating you can put what to display on your profile she picked the options looking for chatting,friendship and SOMETHING CASUAL so Of course I was side eyeing her and because I just woke up and had to go to work all of this didn’t process until Hours later and then it ate at me badly, once I got home I talked to her about how this hurt me and that you don’t go on a dating app when you’re with someone and it doesn’t matter what your intentions were as this was a boundary breaking thing and most people would not be okay with their partners doing that and it’s all how this looks too, of course she then repeated about how it was just for friends and that she would never cheat on me etc which i said there’s ways to make friends but a dating app is not one to do while you’re with someone! but what pissed me off badly is she wasn’t taking accountability and used the following different excuses all within 5 mins:

- I was depressed
- I was lonely
- it was my new meds that made me do this
- (my personal favorite) it was an accident!

She started saying all this because I brought up how for the 2.5 years we’ve been together and the 1.5 years we’ve lived together that I would never have expected her to do this and that’s it’s super out of character for her and now that I’m just thinking like “what else is she capable of doing that’s out of Character?” So the next morning when she kept bringing it up after I asked her to please stop as I didn’t want to go in circles and she couldn’t comprehend that you don’t go on a damn dating app while with someone and once again she started blaming the meds this time which I blurted out that if it’s the “meds” making you do this then does that mean I should just let any shitty behavior slide? She then said how I should give her a pass because she’s my girlfriend which I angrily said that I hold her to a higher standard and love doesnt excuse shitty behavior and then she brought up about how she’s done so much for me once again I repeated that it doesn’t excuse shitty behavior especially after she said I’m so quick to judge and I said how it wouldn’t have been fair to been me in that situation to begin with if she would’ve started chatting with randoms and hanging out with random people. I feel like I’m
Being gas lighted I have told her my trust is cracked and I did not like how she handled everything and I said that in my eyes if she would’ve just took accountability this would’ve saved 2 days of arguing and now she keeps crying and screaming repeatedly to not leave her and then also saying “you seem like you want to jump out of this relationship fast!” When all I said was to take accountability and stop with the excuses and to give me some space because the future isn’t looking very bright for us if this type of bs keeps going. Right now we are living together there’s some tension and I myself don’t feel normal my senses are turned up super high right now she promises how she’ll never do something like that again but idk my trust is cracked and also due to this I made her delete all nude pics of me she has in her phone which were from two years ago which I didn’t know she still had and due to her acting so out of character I made her delete them because what if she decides to leak them or something and then also say it was her anxiety/meds/depression/bullshit etc so I’m playing it safe because at this point I don’t recognize the woman I fell for so I’m not trusting anything intimate right now we will see what the future holds also I brought up this is third time you’ve hurt me emotionally but this is most hurtful thing you’ve done as the other two times where there was once this time she kept asking if I was gonna leave her for a man because I’m bisexual despite the fact at the time we were together for a year and I do not have a history of cheating or breaking boundaries in relationships and then the other time when all I said was we’re function different emotionally to which she said “so you’d rather be with someone more like you then?” When I didn’t say anything about wanting to do that

What would you do? So the other day my gf(48) told me(M28) that she got on Facebook dating and made a profile for the friends feature because her psychiatrist told her that needs more friends. She then said that she deleted it because she was getting messages and felt like this is a bad idea and then she swears she was only looking for women or gay men and not regular men to go hang out with. Of course I was side eyeing her and because I just woke up and had to go to work all of this didn’t process until Hours later and then it ate at me badly, once I got home I talked to her about how this hurt me and that you don’t go on a dating app when you’re with someone and it doesn’t matter what your intentions were as this was a boundary breaking thing and most people would not be okay with their partners doing that, of course she then repeated about how it was just for friends and that she would never cheat on me etc which i said there’s ways to make friends but a dating app is not one to do while you’re with someone! but what pissed me off badly is she wasn’t taking accountability and used the following different excuses all within 5 mins:

- I was depressed
- I was lonely
- it was my new meds that made me do this
- (my personal favorite) it was an accident!

She started saying all this because I brought up how for the 2.5 years we’ve been together and the 1.5 years we’ve lived together that I would never have expected her to do this and that’s it’s super out of character for her and now that I’m just thinking like “what else is she capable of doing that’s out of Character?” So the next morning when she kept bringing it up after I asked her to please stop as I didn’t want to go in circles and she couldn’t comprehend that you don’t go on a damn dating app while with someone and once again she started blaming the meds this time which I blurted out that if it’s the “meds” making you do this then does that mean I should just let any shitty behavior slide? She then said how I should give her a pass because she’s my girlfriend which I angrily said that I hold her to a higher standard and love doesnt excuse shitty behavior and then she brought up about how she’s done so much for me once again I repeated that it doesn’t excuse shitty behavior especially after she said I’m so quick to judge and I said how it wouldn’t have been fair to been me in that situation to begin with if she would’ve started chatting with randoms and hanging out with random people. I feel like I’m
Being gas lighted I have told her my trust is cracked and I did not like how she handled everything and I said that in my eyes if she would’ve just took accountability this would’ve saved 2 days of arguing and now keeps crying and screaming repeatedly to not leave her and then also saying “you seem like you want to jump out of this relationship fast!” When all I said was to take accountability and stop with the excuses and to give me some space because the future isn’t looking very bright for us if this type of bs keeps going

So the other day my gf(48) told me(M28) that she downloaded Facebook dating and made a profile for the friends feature because her psychiatrist told her that needs more friends. She then said that she deleted it because she was getting messages and felt like this would be a bad idea and then she swears she was only looking for women or gay men and not regular men to go hang out with. Of course I was side eyeing her and because I just woke up and had to go to work all of this didn’t process until Hours later and then it ate at me badly, once I got home I talked to her about how this hurt me and that you don’t go on a dating app when you’re with someone and it doesn’t matter what your intentions were as this was a boundary breaking thing and most people would not be okay with their partners doing that, of course she then repeated about how it was just for friends and that she would never cheat on me etc but what pissed me off badly is she wasn’t taking accountability and used the following different excuses all within 5 mins:

- I was depressed
- I was lonely
- it was my new meds that made me do this
- (my personal favorite) it was an accident!

She started saying all this because I brought up how for the 2.5 years we’ve been together and the 1.5 years we’ve lived together that I would never have expected her to do this and that’s it’s super out of character for her and now that I’m just thinking like “what else is she capable of doing that’s out of Character?” So the next morning when she kept bringing it up after I asked her to please stop as I didn’t want to go in circles and she couldn’t comprehend that you don’t go on a damn dating app while with someone and once again she started blaming the meds this time which I blurted out that if it’s the “meds” making you do this then does that mean I should just let any shitty behavior slide? She then said how I should give her a pass because she’s my girlfriend which I angrily said that I hold her to a higher standard and love doesnt excuse shitty behavior and then she brought up about how she’s done so much for me once again I repeated that it doesn’t excuse shitty behavior and I said how it wouldn’t have been fair to been me in that situation to begin with if she would’ve started chatting with randoms and hanging out with random people. I feel like I’m
Being gas lighted I have told her my trust is cracked and I did not like how she handled everything and I said that in my eyes if she would’ve just took accountability this would’ve saved 2 days of arguing