u/tommy655321

I am a 19 years old who has never experienced love with a women but the real issue is that even if I can how will she react to this deformity. I'm 6'3 tall. I have a tall muscular physique. But the way this shit pokes out my shift makes me look like I'm obese.

Those of you who have the same misfortune. How did your partner react to it. Does it matter. They have the right to feel bad when seeing it after all it's a deformity. But I just want to know how it is. Is it a big problem. Is it something I should worry about?

Like when you take your shirt off ready to have sex with her what happens the first time

I try my 100 best to be confident because that's the best way to attract women but as long as this exists in my chest the confidence is always weak.

i recently got my drivers license around the first week of june and was eager to drive. my dad had just gotten a new vehicle for himself in addition to the one he had before making it two vehicles in the house and he asked me to get insured so i can use his old car. i agreed to pay 400 a month under his insurance policy for two months until his contract expires at august. and my next payment is due on the 27 of june this month and i sent it to him a week earlier(yesterday) because he constantly asked when i was getting my next paycheck so i can pay. this payment is meant to cover the driving i did this month and july too

today(a day after i sent the money to him for the premium) then he told me was returning to his previous job which he quit because he didnt like the job and that he will need to go back to his old car which was the one ive been using to go to work and go places and for a moment i was confused on why cant he just use his new car, then he told me that he cant use it because he leased the car for 5 years instead of financing it and he doesnt want to surpass the yearly milage limit because his job requires a lot of driving and he uses his car all week all day. and the ony time i will be able to drive it is on some weekends when hes not working.

which made me speechless i didnt even know what to say but to say okay.

so im basically paying 400 a month for nothing.

he waited until i paid to him before he told me all this.

i agreed to pay half of my paychek because i just got a job and i wanted a reliable and comfortable mode of transportation and that was all i knew but i had no idea that the vehicle was leased and that he will be returning to his old job and

Im currently 2 weeks away from graduating high school. I wanted to study cybersecurity in college but recently got interested in the trades. I already applied for college a while ago but I m thinking of being an hvac or electrician apprentice or helper but I can’t seem to find an opening right now and it’s frustrating. I don’t want to make a decision that I will regret leaving college for something that doesn’t have anything for me.

Im currently close 2 weeks away from graduating high school. I wanted to study cybersecurity in college but recently got interested in the trades. I already applied for college a while ago but I m thinking of being an electrician apprentice or helper but I can’t seem to find an opening right now and it’s frustrating. I don’t want to make a decision that I will regret leaving college for something that doesn’t have anything for me.

19m. it happened last month. i just came back from work delivering food. it was a 5 hour shift after school. after that i was supposed to come back home to do the dishes because they shared the chores between my little brother and i weekly which is stupid. and we can only do it at night after everyones ate around like 10pm. i was supposedly meant to do the dishes after arriving home at 9:30pm that night but i didnt cos i was tired(i deliver with a bike) so i went to bed and didnt even shower. next morning, father opened my bedroom door at around 2pm i was barely awake but i sensed him but went back to sleep i was confused hours later around 8pm i came downastairs to have breakfast. it was a weekend. while i was having breakfast he asked me why i havent washed the dishes looking annoyed and i told him that i will after i eat breakfast then he came closer to me and started ranting saying trash talk and complaing about my moms job to me for no reason saying shes not supposed to be working such a menial job. and i stood up and he came closer to be. then he raised his hand to my face and i gently pushed his hand away because i was suprised by the entire interaction and my stupid mom yelled " you push your father" and the two idiots started punching me while i was on the ground with all their strenght they punched me while i was there. he said "he has been patient with me" i went upstairs and cried and i dont usually cried but that was an extraordinary case and it didnt feel real to me. all this because of dishes. bastards. fast foward to this week they are relating with me as if it didnt happen. my father apologzied for it but my mom didnt. shes too big for that. retard. i cannot wait to move out and never come back till the end of time.

all i want is to be able to afford whatever i need in my life.
i doubt i will even get married in the future.

suddenly i lost interest in literally everything. games i used to like, i dont even want to talk to people anymore. why should i? whats the point. i have been religious my whole life but after leaving religion there was nothing in my life that was worth anything. like i wont mind passing right now. why am i feeling like this i wasnt always like this . i had friends, i had no trouble being embarassed, i had hobbies, i loved videogames, i cant even play gta as much as i wanted to. people around me think im prideful in school or that i have an ego but they dont know that i dont see the point of anything. rejection is a terrible thing and i blame social media for pushing me to ask girls out that i dont even know. got rejected in the worst ways posible. one girl lied that she has a boyfriend, another lied of her age and another did not even see me as someone worthy of being rejected (she did not even answer me when i called her attention)in school. i have asked out 8 girls . i know i have some defects in my body that i cant control but i cunningly thought to myself that it doesnt matter and all i have to be is a good confident person. and i dont know what was wrong. i thought a girl would help me find purpose and drive and i can also help her. turns out its not possible. nothing in my life makes no sense, its not real. my life is not real. i use to watch porn but i cant even watch it again cos i lost interest. how does what the fuck is going on. my parents are dysfunctional.

i looked it up and its called anhedonia, i think it means that my brain no longer has the ability to feel pleasure

i remember some years back i used to be a red pill gut saying depression is not real. and thats people just want attention. but now i would never speak about something i have never experienced before. if i am a poor person with a disability and shit. then i would know why my life is shitty. but i dont even have the liberty and priviledge of knowing whats wrong with me. thats the most painful thing