u/tryingtofindmyself1

I want to write this as a warning to anyone who still thinks porn and edging are “not that serious.”

I used to know it was a problem, but I don’t think I truly understood how much it was affecting my life until I lost something very important to me.

I recently went through a very painful breakup from my first serious relationship. I don’t want to blame everything on porn, because I made my own choices and I have to take responsibility. But I can clearly see now how much this addiction damaged me.

Porn and edging made me emotionally unavailable. It made me passive. It destroyed my discipline. It made me avoid important problems. It made me less present, less loving, less motivated, and less reliable.

There were times when I didn’t feel like texting her or being emotionally present because I was stuck in this cycle. I made promises and didn’t follow through. I avoided dealing with sexual problems and intimacy issues. I didn’t open up enough. I was physically there, but mentally and emotionally I was often not fully there.

Now I’m sitting here with a broken heart, realizing that this addiction didn’t just waste my time. It damaged my ability to love someone properly.

Please don’t wait until you lose someone or something important before you take this seriously.

This addiction can slowly take your energy, your motivation, your confidence, your relationships, your sexuality, your faith, and your future. It doesn’t always destroy your life overnight. Sometimes it destroys it quietly, day by day, while you keep telling yourself that you still have time.

If you are still in the early stages, stop now. If you are deep in it, fight now. Don’t wait for life to hit you so hard that you finally wake up.

I’m writing this from pain, regret, and honesty. I don’t want to go back to my old life. I want to fight this seriously now.

Please pray for me or wish me strength. And please, take this addiction seriously before it takes something from you that you cannot easily get back.

I’m a 26-year-old man going through a very painful breakup from my first serious relationship. We knew each other for about 6 months, and it has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. She was very loving and caring toward me. She made me feel safe. But I now see that I often failed to give her the love, attention, emotional openness, and consistency she needed. I made promises I didn’t keep, avoided important problems, and didn’t open up enough. I have also struggled for years with pornography and related habits, and I believe this affected my emotional presence, discipline, intimacy, and ability to truly be there for her. I see now how much this has damaged my life. Since the breakup, I’ve been going through waves of grief, guilt, panic, and regret. I still love her and I still hope for reconciliation, if it is God’s will. But I also know I cannot force anything, and I need to truly change. I feel like God is using this pain to wake me up and show me what I must finally overcome. I want to repent, become disciplined, become emotionally stable, and become a better man.

I feel very weak right now, but I don’t want to go back to my old life. Thank you for your prayers. God bless you all.

I’m a 26-year-old man going through a very painful breakup from my first serious relationship. We knew each other for about 6 months, and it has only been a few days since the breakup. I feel completely overwhelmed.

It was a gentle, caring, and affectionate connection. She was kind, patient, and emotionally open with me. I felt safe with her, but at the same time I was internally confused and unsure, since I had never experienced a real relationship before.

Looking back now, I see that I made serious mistakes. I didn’t always listen to her properly, I was emotionally inconsistent, and I struggled with personal issues and unhealthy habits that affected how I showed up in the relationship. These things impacted my emotional presence, intimacy, and ability to be fully there for her. I didn’t take them seriously enough or act early enough to change.

Over time, this created distance and pain for her. We didn’t end in anger; there is still care on both sides, but she reached a point where she felt she couldn’t continue the relationship.

Now I feel completely broken. I can’t stop crying, I have waves of panic, and I feel deep regret. Only now I truly understand how important she was to me.

I’m being honest: I still want her back. But I also understand that I cannot force anything, and that I need to truly change and take responsibility.

Right now I’m turning to God, because I feel like I cannot carry this pain alone. I don’t fully understand why this is happening, but I want to trust that there is meaning in it.

I feel very weak right now and would be grateful for any guidance or prayers.

God bless you all.

I’m a 26-year-old man going through a very painful breakup from my first serious relationship. We knew each other for about 6 months, and it has only been a few days since the breakup. I feel completely overwhelmed.

It was a gentle, caring, and affectionate connection. She was kind, patient, and emotionally open with me. I felt safe with her, but at the same time I was internally confused and unsure, since I had never experienced a real relationship before.

Looking back now, I see that I made serious mistakes. I didn’t always listen to her properly, I was emotionally inconsistent, and I struggled with personal issues and unhealthy habits that affected how I showed up in the relationship. These things impacted my emotional presence, intimacy, and ability to be fully there for her. I didn’t take them seriously enough or act early enough to change.

Over time, this created distance and pain for her. We didn’t end in anger; there is still care on both sides, but she reached a point where she felt she couldn’t continue the relationship.

Now I feel completely broken. I can’t stop crying, I have waves of panic attacks, and I feel deep regret and unbelievable pain. Only now I truly understand how important she was to me.

I’m being honest: I still want her back. But I also understand that I cannot force anything, and that I need to truly change and take responsibility.

Right now I’m turning to God, because I feel like I cannot carry this pain alone. I don’t fully understand why this is happening, but I want to trust that there is meaning in it.

I feel very weak right now and would be grateful for any guidance or prayers.

God bless you all.

I’m a 26-year-old man and I’m on day 3 after a breakup with a 21-year-old woman. It was my first serious relationship, and I feel completely destroyed.

We dated for about 4 months. It was a very tender and affectionate connection. We cooked together, spent long days together, cuddled, kissed, talked deeply, and she was very gentle and caring with me. I felt safe with her, but during the relationship I was emotionally confused and unsure because I had never been in a real relationship before. I expected love to feel like an intense movie-type feeling, but with her it felt more calm, warm and safe.

Now that it ended, I realize how much she actually meant to me. I keep remembering moments with her and it hurts so much that I feel physically broken. I’ve been crying a lot for three days, and the pain comes in waves. Sometimes I get panic-like waves where I feel like I can’t handle it anymore.

The breakup happened because several issues built up over time. We had some major differences in values/worldview, and she said she had been trying to accept certain things for months but eventually realized she couldn’t. I also had personal problems that affected the relationship, including emotional numbness, insecurity and sexual issues that I didn’t deal with properly. I feel a lot of guilt because I think I didn’t fully listen to her and didn’t give her what she needed when it mattered.

We had a long phone call after the breakup. I cried a lot. She said she still wants to be in my life, that I can call her if I need to talk, and that she can imagine a friendship. But honestly, friendship is not enough for me right now. I still want her back.

I know I need to work on myself regardless of what happens. I want to fix my personal issues, become more stable, and stop the habits that damaged me and the relationship. But right now I’m stuck between grief, guilt, hope and panic.

I don’t know how to let go. I don’t know how to stop wanting her back. I don’t know how to get through these first days without constantly crying, panicking, and losing my mind.

Has anyone been in a situation like this where the breakup wasn’t cold, both people still cared, but one person said they couldn’t continue the relationship?