u/ummmmwhatnow

I am in a long term relationship of almost a decade with my boyfriend. I am his first and only girlfriend. We love each other deeply, have grown together as people through this time and I can genuinely say that I am very happy in the relationship on most days.

I’ve been struggling immensely with a few thoughts and need male perspective. Please be kind as some of what I say is going to be unfiltered fears. I’ll try to be as coherent as possible.

I am afraid that my boyfriend might be gay or bisexual because of a few things - since we were friends, some of his non verbal behaviour is very feminine (voice modulation, gestures, chuckles etc) and also that his hands are very “limpy” or loose. I find these bits a bit off putting not because I am homophobic but because I don’t find that attractive in my man. In school, he once had a fleeting thought that one of his classmates (male) was attractive and good-looking. I don’t make much of this as it just seems like a harmless crush.

Physically, our relationship is very satisfying - he always initiates stuff when we’re alone, is very in the mood always, gets hard ons when we do stuff etc etc. We do everything except penetrative sex - there are several reasons for this. I think I have vaginismus and find any kind of fingering also very scary. In our initial years, he tried to initiate fingering but since I was not enjoying it we haven’t gone back to it much. He himself has not initiated penetration ever. Probably TMI, but we do a lot of dry humping without clothes on, so idk maybe we both are ready to some extent. One main factor is also that he is not very attracted to breasts in anyway.

I am finding myself torn and unable to understand if he is repressing his true sexuality or if he is truly attracted to me/other girls. It’s really difficult to fake a fulfilling physical and emotional relationship for a decade if you are not romantically invested in a person.

My question is - do you think my boyfriend could be bi? When I’ve asked him he’s denied it.

TL;DR - in a happy long term relationship, but confused about boyfriend’s sexuality due to some non-verbal behaviours and other concerns in the bedroom.

Hi all, I am looking to courier some cosmetics and other stuff to India from London. Any suggestions for affordable and reliable providers (with tracking)?

Thanks so much!

I applied and got a visa during the west asia crisis peak - I was travelling from the UK. The visa was valid for a month, but period of stay was 5 days. I missed this as the consulate stamp was on the number and I wasn’t aware of this concept as this was my first time applying for a visa.

Long story short due to travel concerns of family travelling with me, I ended up pushing my flight to the UK by 2 days ; so I stayed a total of 7 days in the Schengen area.

I will be applying for a visa again soon and was wondering if this will impact the application. Should i voluntarily explain the context in a cover letter or is that not required? For context, I was not stopped at the immigration at my exit point during the last period - it went very smoothly and hence I have only realised this issue now.

Thanks in advance!