u/unkn0wnym0u5

dahil sa isang bad experience ko sa ex-suitor ko na Chinese guy nahirapan na akong magtiwala lalo sa mga lalaking may similar background na galing sa all-boys school , “big four” , tapos may Christian community.

I know it’s unfair to judge people based on their background pero as much as I’d like to end up with someone na same ng cultural background din,hindi ko rin ma-deny na may impact talaga sa akin yung nangyari.
Traumatic.

Also, hindi ba talaga sila expressive sa panliligaw, or natapat lang ako sa maling tao..

Hi! Weird or nakakahiya ba kung mag-request ako sa therapist ko na before our first session, pwede ba akong mag-send ng PDF na parang summary/background lang ng mga nangyayari sa akin?
Parang hindi ko kasi kayang ma-explain nang maayos in person, especially sa first session. Mas madali para sa akin na isulat muna lahat, para kahit papaano may idea na siya sa background ko bago kami mag-usap.
Okay lang ba yung ganitong approach, or mas okay na sabihin ko na lang lahat during the session?

first time doing this 🥹
For now, I wanted to start simple.

I’m still figuring out what kind I want to make, but eventually I’d love to do wholesome roleplays, little storylines, and classic storytelling.. just cozy stuff.

What kind of ASMR or roleplay would you actually want to listen to?

My 2nd Sky MV is finally here!

After three years, I finally made another mv 😭 I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, but I only got to make one again now since there are finally enough emotes and places in-game that I could work with~

setting up my Patreon page for the first time and just wanted to double-check a few technical details:

1. If I upload my audio files directly as native audio posts (MP3/WAV), is listening completely ad-free for my patrons on the Patreon app/site?
2. Does Patreon automatically provide a download button for patrons on native audio uploads so they can listen offline?

Problem/Goal:

Gusto ko lang ma-clarify kung okay lang ba mag-check in sa manliligaw ko na may possible avoidant tendencies, without it being considered “chasing” or hindi respectful sa space niya. Gusto ko rin maging more secure sa approach ko at hindi mag-overthink.

Context:

nbsb ako, May manliligaw ako.3 months na, first time ko may iuwi sa bahay at mapakilala sa parents, ako din first na dinala nyang girl sa house nila . ok na ok sya sa una, sobrang sweet pati sa chat ambilis din mag reply pero recently nagbabago na pero okay pa din sa personal:clingy, kaso nung mga nakaraan, napapansin ko na may avoidant tendencies siya, pero hindi ako naging pushy or confrontational nung napag-usapan namin before.

Recently, sinabi niya na physically exhausted siya palagi at parang bumabalik yung avoidant side niya. After non, hindi ko na ni-continue yung conversation. Nag-react lang ako ng sad emoji at binigyan ko siya ng space.

Ngayon, 2 days na kaming walang communication. First time to mangyari kasi usually kahit hindi ako nag-iinitiate, siya pa rin yung nagr-reach out kapag hindi ako nagre-reply agad.

nalulungkot ako kasi parang di ako nililigawan :(, pero ang hirap kasi may mga pinagsamahan na kami, and vinavalue ko yun connection namin, kaya tinatry kong isantabi yun emotional needs ko at mag-focus sa pagiging more secure, kahit na nakakaiyak talaga pero tintry ko hindi dumepend yung emotions ko sa kanya, at bumalik sa hobbies ko at church para maiwasan overthinking. gusto ko na sana sya sagutin nung inask nya ko maging gf kahit gustong gusto ko na sya pero nag no muna ako kasi may hesitations nga ako , sabi nya willing to wait naman daw sya huhu

Previous Attempts:

• Dati, kapag hindi ako masyadong nagre-reply o nagre-react, siya pa rin yung nagco-continue ng conversation.
• Nabanggit ko na before yung concerns ko about communication, pero in a calm at hindi confrontational way.
• Recently, after niya sabihin na exhausted siya at nagiging avoidant siya, nag-step back ako at hindi na nag-follow up.
• I’m currently trying to regulate myself Sa mga may avoidant attachment or may experience sa ganitong dynamics, okay lang ba mag-send ng light check-in message or random light update about my day/joke lang, no emotional demand, no relationship talk? huhu

I (F) am currently talking to a guy I’m getting to know as a suitor. We’ve been seeing each other and there is mutual interest, he can be very affectionate and clingy in person, and things feel good when we’re together.

However, our communication outside of meetings has been becoming emotionally inconsistent. We’ve talked before about my need for reassurance and at least small updates (like a quick message) so I don’t feel like he suddenly disappears. I’ve also been trying to adjust, giving space, and trying not to be too demanding.

We still talk daily but there are long gaps in replies, and sometimes he just goes silent for hours (Sometimes longer) When he does come back and updates me like nothing happened, I feel okay again, but then he disappears again and I start overthinking.

Recently, he told me he feels physically exhausted often and that he feels like his “avoidant side” is coming back. Right now, I haven’t replied yet, I didn’t know what to say anymore :(
I care about him, but I’m also starting to feel drained from the inconsistency. I don’t want to give up too quickly :( sometimes I do see a little effort from him esp when he is present.

The last time we saw each other in person, he was actually very affectionate, so I feel confused

Should I continue being patient and see if this stabilizes, or is this already a sign that our communication styles are incompatible?

How wait before deciding it’s not going to work?

I am a Christian woman having a hard time discerning whether this is something I should work through, communicate better, or consider as a possible incompatibility.

I’ve been getting to know a guy for about three months. He is the first person I’ve consistently dated and seriously considered for my potential future FIRST relationship.
Before meeting him, I spent years praying for my future husband, and in many ways, he seemed to match many of the SPECIFIC things I had been praying for, which is part of why this has been emotionally difficult for me. :(
But that dream shattered me i thought i finally met the right one(?)
A few weeks ago, I learned things about his past that deeply disappointed and hurt me. I cried about it. When I confronted him about it, he did not deny it. He admitted his mistakes, apologized sincerely, and told me he would understand if I chose to stop talking to him. I chose to give him a chance instead of walking away and I saw remorse and a desire to grow. He also said he would do his best to become better for me moving forward.
And so we’re ok again .

Actually From the very beginning we became very close quickly. Our conversations felt natural, effortless. It honestly felt like we had known each other much longer than we actually had. He would often send reels, reply quickly. I felt pursued, and there was a consistent flow of communication.
However, over the past few weeks (around three weeks now), I’ve started feeling a noticeable shift in our dynamic.
We still talk every day, and he still communicates respectfully and kindly.
But the emotional closeness and consistency I used to feel has changed.
Replies are now often 1–4 hours apart. Sometimes he replies quickly, but most of the time conversations feel slower and less engaging. Idk i might be petty 😭 good morning/good night msgs are not even natural for him? :(
He rarely asks how I’m doing, gives fewer updates about his day not until i told him that id appreciate even just simple updates and greetings so im overthinking whats happening to him and theres no engagement to my stories (i thought he might be interested enough about my day to ask me about it but no he just views them) might be petty 😭 i dont feel supported its like he’s not even my suitor.

He said he’s happy but
I no longer feel the same emotional closeness, intentionality, curiosity, or sense of pursuit that I felt in the beginning.
For context, he is currently taking a second degree in college, and he can be very tired. He has also told me he feels more active at night lately, so when I tried to understand his rhythm better, I made an effort to adjust and create space last night thinking it might be a good opportunity for us to have more meaningful conversations. I asked maybe this was a good time for a talk so i told him to tell me a story in a lighthearted way and he ended up opening a short story about his day.
However, there was only one instance where he replied quickly. After that, the replies were still spaced out by around 3 hours, and eventually I ended up falling asleep while waiting for responses. Because of that, we were not really able to sustain a proper conversation flow, and it still felt disconnected despite the attempt to align with his schedule.

He also seems more emotionally reserved or emotionally repressed when it comes to expressing himself (he said), although in person he is affectionate, sweet, and physically expressive.
so brought up that I missed how things used to be between us the closeness, consistency, and engagement. He apologized and said he has just been feeling tired lately, on days where he has no classes he just want to sleep. 😭

Since then, I’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected and unsure how to interpret what I’m experiencing.
On one hand, I want to extend grace and understand that people go through tiring or transitional seasons. I also recognize that I may have some anxious attachment tendencies,
I’m struggling because I don’t feel the same emotional closeness I once felt, even though we still communicate daily 😭 i dont even know if im just overthinking, i already brought it up to him about how I need reassurance and i told him

I’m also beginning to question whether what I experienced in the beginning was initial excitement, or if this current dynamic reflects his more natural communication and emotional style.
I also want to be honest that I am considering slowing down physical affection because I don’t feel emotionally secure right now. I don’t want physical closeness to replace emotional intimacy. :(

don’t know if God is teaching me to deal with my anxious tendencies to not constantly seek validation and reassurance from him. That’s honestly what I’ve been feeling. But at the same time, I’m wondering if I should really just walk away. What makes it harder is that he was the first person I introduced to my parents as a suitor, and I was also the first girl his family met. We’ve already shared so much together. He’s my first in many sweet and meaningful moments. And I’m struggling with the thought of losing all of that. He’s not even my boyfriend yet, but I’m already considering whether I should continue or stop, even though I know it would hurt me deeply if I end it :((

I find myself pulling back and not sharing much when I feel emotionally drained, 😭 and then he comes back with check-ins or updates, which temporarily resets things—and the same cycle keeps repeating when I try to open up again
Idk if hes giving me mixed signals or just communication issues? Help? 😭

I’ve been getting to know a guy for about three months now we are not officially together yet, but we are moving in that direction and I’ve been praying for discernment throughout this process.

One of his older social media posts from when we first met, it was a light driving video at first, but at the end, there was a moment of road rage and some cursing.

It made me a bit uncomfortable especially because I know that if things continue, I’m starting to think about how this might be perceived later on, especially since my family and relatives are quite observant on social media . and im worried of the kind of witness we present as individuals.
(He mentioned before we met that he was influenced by friends in the past, especially in terms of his language and habits. He is still in the process of changing, and he has improved a bit so far.)

I understand that it was from before we became serious but I didn’t bring it up before because it fell too early and I also didn’t want to judge him for something from his early journey with God, but I am unsure whether it would be appropriate to gently bring it up or if it’s something, I should simply let go. I get so uncomfy thinking about the post 😭 I’m kind of shy to open up to him. I really really really don’t know how to bring it up 😭 m also worried about coming off as controlling.

One idea I also had was maybe on our next dates we could intentionally talk more about our past posts or shared memories like telling the context behind the naturally as part of getting to know each other better that way when the post comes up, it doesn’t feel like interrogation but more like understanding each story.