u/unowithteeth

I have had little comitees disapprove of my concept, and pitches, and try to terminate my thesis film.

I don't know why, it is not controversial.

They are just this tiny group of weird crazy snobby people. They are trying to make film in my city into something more hoity toity than it is. They are trying to write some kind of blue books.

Anyway, I just ignore them and network and collaborate with others.

But it is exhausting because I am meeting people and there is a lot of talent, but feel like my collaborations and networking events are slightly defensive now.

I feel on the back foot because I have these weird people in my city, whom I barely know, being weird and people may have heard if me.

I might give them 'elegance' but I have been surrounded by old money for a long time having grown up in wealthy areas and gone to private schools.

They really do not exhibit 'modest' or humble traits. And that has been a large issue with my old money friends. And yes I have differentiated old money from second generation rich kids.

I think there egos are typically enormous and the arrogance is unlimited.

My closest friends in my early 20s were all Capricorns.

And they are still very close friends. But my Capricorn relationships tended to be very intensely poetry and literature based, analyzing words from poetry in a way that I just couldn't with other signs,

and at the same time VERY status obsessed and angry at the world.

This was obviously a massive contradiction, because classic literature does not turn into money. So I don't know what we were trying to achieve.

I frequented a community theatre which was just filled with Capricorn somehow. We did Titus Andronycus and the poster was designed by an Aries.

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But since that heavily Capricorn period in my life, my interactions with Capricorns have been superficial and aloof. Often briefly and superficially butting heads over pecking orders and corporate chain of command.

My current Capricorn friendships are often kurt and revolve around advice on

• how to attain accolades,
• attaining laurels and approval from silly organizations and silly comittees,
• critiquing educational curriculums - because so many are teachers.
• analyzing power dynamics and status symbols.
• and how to achieve goals.

I mean this with all kindness, but they are not a balanced relationships.

But we are always on the same wavelength despite very quiet interactions.

Many in rural New Zealand are highly dismissive of, and even resistant to, any example of paint on a canvas. Unless it is a contemporary landscape depicting lush meadows or beaches.

I was in a Waikato art show, and the patrons introduced the show "people wonder why we bother giving money to this"

Why do some kiwis have impassioned and scrutinizing negative opinions about merely knowing about pre 20th century art?

It makes no sense.

I was relentlessly criticized in my tartan dressed, upper class, Anglican boarding school for 'not quite getting it'.

But achieved much higher results in the actual exam. Merit endorsements totally unrecognized in class. I do not believe I had poor classroom behaviour.

Aries ♈️ generally hated that school.

Other Capricorns ♑️ achieved high results but had some family affiliation to the staff or to wealthy families or respected alumni in the school.

Leos ♌️ in that school were treated like faultless angels. Despite not demonstrating great interest in their subjects, or having matching exam results.

I am talking about awarded badges, gold ties, ceremonies, and all manner of celebrations.

But not matching exam results because the school made its own decisions.

Is this common?

How do they get away with things other signs are bullied for.

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Cancer ♋️ and Pisces ♓️ were bullied horribly in my upper class high school in New Zealand.

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And they seemed to be fast forwarding in my school to an adult time when they knew kindness and consideration were markers of leadership not weakness.

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Libra ♎️ Gemini ♊️ and Aries ♈️ were often culprits in thus situation.

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And my Taurus friends, ♉️ without fail, tended check every box they needed to fit in.

Fitting in was so important. They made sure they behaved right, acted right, were good at the right sports, made friends with right people, had the right mannerisms. They really wanted to 'do it right'.

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So how did the Aquarians ♒️ manage to be completely off the wall without enduring abuse?

They would say unpredictable things, challenge senior management.

One Aquarius would openly talk about being emo and 'anti gangster' and he was muscle bound. He openly said he had a crush on his jock friend, and no one challenged him or outcast him. He was so loud and unpredictable.

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Another would openly brag about her academic achievements, and lead a great many 'closing night pranks' during the high school musical, where she kissed the boys off script. No one faulted her.

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Another preached nationalism unironically and wanted to be the dictator of the country. And kept pontificating on the school podium. And I don't know how he got there.

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How do Aquariuses manage to win the cruel social circles of high school, doing everything that people get bullied for?

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I like Collin McCahon and Gordon Walter's.

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But there is also a Rita Agnus and Goldie tradition that gets dismissed and 'categorized out' in our country.

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And not enough people depicted!

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He tangata, he tangata, he tangata! The most important thing in the world.

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So where are the humans?

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I was in Eastern Europe and Germany and I am pining for the artistic culture. Such excellent attention to humans and adventurous stories with gypsies and soldiers.

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There are such incredible collections. Abd we have so many stories in our country.

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But the art scene has a stubbornly minimalist will.

I knew a lady who was irritable at best.

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I noticed she liked Taurus ♉️ and was always surrounded by Taurus.

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But she got irritated by Aquarians. It was an alarmingly consistent pattern.

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Mainly if they had an idea or opinion.

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The Aquarians in the school would irk her saying:

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"This is me trying to follow the instructions"

"I don't care about instructions. I just do what I want and suffer the consequences. But I want them to see what I have done has its own merit and reward me."

"I don't think in those terms. I have other words I use."

"The school is lying to us. If you ignore the curriculum you will make more money."

"I drink coffee at night"

"I think the problem with this project is it is zoomed in. And you won't see the mistakes if it is zoomed out"

I think private school alumni across the world struggle to interpret old money with these virtues.

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I have been to a few private schools and honestly, modest and humble are completely the inverse of old money in every way.

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It is literally the opposite.

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Maybe, compared to some asshole 'self made' corporate shark who treads on people to lift himself up, they seem quite nice.

the system is just designed to serve them, and we all seem to have unofficially signed off on this.

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But really. I just have memories of being mocked for my lack of general knowledge.

Mocked for shallow things relating to artistic taste and philosophical view points.

Mocked for having realistic political views, rather than abstract and ridiculous ones. Like communism and libertarianism.

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I have met many who are painfully soft and delicate and deviant. For whom everything is a trial.

I have met many who value the art of 'artistic critique' over actual skill.

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Modesty and humility? But how? When?

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I have not noticed them to dress up very often in designer clothes, or drive around in fancy cars, compared to rich trades people or corporate types. But to me that's kind of irrelevant. They live very luxuriously.

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Dressing scruffy doesn't make them look modest to me.

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They are all individuals but this is a wildly arrogant group in society. Snd I just don't get the trend.

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And other signs ♎️ ♌️ ♍️ say horrifically crass things about social rank and pass it off as a 'joke' as a daily routine. Especially Libra.

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But we cannot live it down if we are thought to 'imply' condescension toward the poor. And we always are seen to be doing that. Even with our 0 dollars. Even if we punch up. Speak truth to power. Even as we help people. Even if we say nothing.

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We come across as the agent of the system. The corrupt enforcer of the villains whack rules.

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We will say "don't smoke anything weird the day before your drug test"

And people lose their minds with our 'cruel unsolicited advice'

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It id even how I, a Capricorn, percieve most OTHER Capricorns!

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Airy fairy old money people with obscenely privileged, aristocratic upbringings point to us as the tyrant treading on their rights. All the time!

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What are we doing? I know the fact that we suss out hierarchies at all rubs people the wrong way.

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We tell people about our labour jobs and how poor we are and they still thinking we are coming down on them from the 'system' and the upper class to oppress them.

And other signs ♎️ ♌️ ♍️ say horrifically crass things about social rank and pass it off as a 'joke' as a daily routine. Especially Libra.

​

But we cannot live it down if we are thought to 'imply' condescension toward the poor. And we always are seen to be doing that. Even with our 0 dollars. Even if we punch up. Speak truth to power. Even as we help people. Even if we say nothing.

​

We come across as the agent of the system. The corrupt enforcer of the villains whack rules.

​

We will say "don't smoke anything weird the day before your drug test"

And people lose their minds with our 'cruel unsolicited advice'

​

It id even how I, a Capricorn, percieve most OTHER Capricorns!

​

Airy fairy old money people with obscenely privileged, aristocratic upbringings point to us as the tyrant treading on their rights. All the time!

​

What are we doing? I know the fact that we suss out hierarchies at all rubs people the wrong way.

​

We tell people about our labour jobs and how poor we are and they still thinking we are coming down on them from the 'system' and the upper class to oppress them.

And other signs ♎️ ♌️ ♍️ say horrifically crass things about social rank and pass it off as a 'joke' as a daily routine. Especially Libra.

​

But we cannot live it down if we are thought to 'imply' condescension toward the poor. And we always are seen to be doing that. Even with our 0 dollars. Even if we punch up. Speak truth to power. Even as we help people. Even if we say nothing.

​

We come across as the agent of the system. The corrupt enforcer of the villains whack rules.

​

We will say "don't smoke anything weird the day before your drug test"

And people lose their minds with our 'cruel unsolicited advice'

​

It id even how I, a Capricorn, percieve most OTHER Capricorns!

​

Airy fairy old money people with obscenely privileged, aristocratic upbringings point to us as the tyrant treading on their rights. All the time!

​

What are we doing? I know the fact that we suss out hierarchies at all rubs people the wrong way.

​

We tell people about our labour jobs and how poor we are and they still thinking we are coming down on them from the 'system' and the upper class to oppress them.

And other signs ♎️ ♌️ ♍️ say horrifically crass things about social rank and pass it off as a 'joke' as a daily routine. Especially Libra.

​

But we cannot live it down if we are thought to 'imply' condescension toward the poor. And we always are seen to be doing that. Even with our 0 dollars. Even if we punch up. Speak truth to power. Even as we help people. Even if we say nothing.

​

We come across as the agent of the system. The corrupt enforcer of the villains whack rules.

​

We will say "don't smoke anything weird the day before your drug test"

And people lose their minds with our 'cruel unsolicited advice'

​

It id even how I, a Capricorn, percieve most OTHER Capricorns!

​

Airy fairy old money people with obscenely privileged, aristocratic upbringings point to us as the tyrant treading on their rights. All the time!

​

What are we doing? I know the fact that we suss out hierarchies at all rubs people the wrong way.

​

We tell people about our labour jobs and how poor we are and they still thinking we are coming down on them from the 'system' and the upper class to oppress them.

And other signs ♎️ ♌️ ♍️ say horrifically crass things about social rank and pass it off as a 'joke' as a daily routine. Especially Libra.

​

But we cannot live it down if we are thought to 'imply' condescension toward the poor. And we always are seen to be doing that. Even with our 0 dollars. Even if we punch up. Speak truth to power. Even as we help people. Even if we say nothing.

​

We come across as the agent of the system. The corrupt enforcer of the villains whack rules.

​

We will say "don't smoke anything weird the day before your drug test"

And people lose their minds with our 'cruel unsolicited advice'

​

It id even how I, a Capricorn, percieve most OTHER Capricorns!

​

Airy fairy old money people with obscenely privileged, aristocratic upbringings point to us as the tyrant treading on their rights. All the time!

​

What are we doing? I know the fact that we suss out hierarchies at all rubs people the wrong way.

​

We tell people about our labour jobs and how poor we are and they still thinking we are coming down on them from the 'system' and the upper class to oppress them.

Libra ♎️ and Pisces ♓️ and Gemini ♊️ have options.

I feel like they have their pegs and are searching for the right hole.

But I have noticed Capricorn ♑️ and Aquarius ♒️ don't really have the option of finding the right hole. They aren't on a hole quest.

The peg is as right as it will be and we can make a new peg that fits the hole or fit the peg we have into the hole.

The universe didn't give us the option to pick from a variety of holes.

We are frequently deprived of proper help.

And when we ride rough shot over others with our own way, it annoys people. But we cannot do it the easy way.

But when we try to do it the easy way, it looks lazy. The lack of diligence is obvious.

So we stop looking for the easy opportunities and just do it as best we can. What we envisioned.

And the challenge for us is not scouting the right opportunity.

It is just trucking through and doubling down on what we have to do. And people find that arrogant.

Libra ♎️ and Pisces ♓️ and Gemini ♊️ have options.

I feel like they have their pegs and are searching for the right hole.

But I have noticed Capricorn ♑️ and Aquarius ♒️ don't really have the option of finding the right hole. They aren't on a hole quest.

The peg is as right as it will be and we can make a new peg that fits the hole or fit the peg we have into the hole.

The universe didn't give us the option to pick from a variety of holes.

We are frequently deprived of proper help.

And when we ride rough shot over others with our own way, it annoys people. But we cannot do it the easy way.

But when we try to do it the easy way, it looks lazy. The lack of diligence is obvious.

So we stop looking for the easy opportunities and just do it as best we can. What we envisioned.

And the challenge for us is not scouting the right opportunity.

It is just trucking through and doubling down on what we have to do. And people find that arrogant.

I feel like we are known to speak in riddles, and also known to take other people really literally.

I feel like my interactions with other Capricorns are a littke bit brusque and largely conversations about hierarchy and ambition that would sound snobbish to outside listeners.

I also feel like there is a lot of 'mind reading' on.

Capricorn has the weirdest relationship to authority.

Taurus ♉️ obviously gets in trouble because the just don't do anything they are told.

Aquarius ♒️ seems to be rebelling in a theory in a cerebral way that doesn't effect their actual behaviour.

And Sagittarius ♐️ is just off the rails.

And Libra ♎️ seems to love to provoke.

So we are not a defiant sign. But authority gets very angry at us. More than the rebels. Much more.

I have noticed that Capricorns ♑️ are following instructions and obeying authority quite closely, but are always percieved to be defiant and rebellious.

Many times an examiner or employer will have a double take of... 'actually... you did that correctly... on second thought'. I feel like Captain Starbuck.

We go about our day, following very specific orders from our bosses and 'social superiors' .

Careful not to rock the boat, and completing our prescribed tasks is exactly what rocks the boat.

And they cannot stand it. They get irrate at our 'defiance' and accuse us if rebelling.

How good are we 'pretending' to be?

Can we not get judged on our actual performance rather than some abstract metric where we fall short of our 'pretend' performance.

It has plagued me my whole life.