u/uwuazuzu

My friends and I, girls in their middle 20s, are going to Shanghai and looking for nice night live experience. We are into night (after 1AM) bars and clubs. Any recommendations?

My friends and I (F/27-28) are looking for a good night place and maybe a good company for today’s night! Any places recommendations?

My boyfriend (34) and I (29) have been together for over a year. Let’s call my boyfriend Kyle. Kyle is a really hardworking, loyal, and kind man. He has a stable job, owns his own property, and treats me very well. We rarely even have conflicts. The only thing is that, objectively, I’d say his appearance is around a 6/10. I’m not someone who falls for looks alone, and I genuinely like Kyle for the person he is.

However, whenever I show pictures of him to my friends or coworkers, or post photos of us online, people often tell me that Kyle isn’t good enough for me physically or that he doesn’t look as attractive as they expected someone dating me to be.

Maybe part of the reason is that I used to have a situationship with another guy (27). Let’s call him Pole. Pole was very tall and handsome, and the people who knew about him thought we looked like a great match. Recently, after almost two years of no contact, I looked at Pole’s Instagram out of curiosity. He’s still really tall and handsome.

The thing is, I don’t want to get back together with Pole, and I don’t have feelings for him anymore. But I realized I’ve started comparing his appearance to Kyle’s. For example, Pole recently got a perm, and it made me ask Kyle whether he’d ever consider perming his hair. I also saw Pole wearing really nice casual outfits (Kyle mostly wears office clothes), and I found myself asking Kyle if he’d ever wear similar styles or colors.

This makes me feel weird because I genuinely like Kyle, but I’ve caught myself wishing he’d change certain things about his appearance. I don’t know if this is normal or if I’m letting other people’s opinions get into my head.

TL;DR: I don’t have feelings for Pole, and I like Kyle. But lately I’ve found myself comparing their appearances and wanting Kyle to change his style a little. Is this normal? What should I do? Please, advise only.

My partner (34M) and I (29F) are planning to have a baby. Since we both want our child to have everything needed for a happy life, we discuss these things even before I’m actually pregnant. We agree on many things, but two issues keep coming up.

My partner REALLY wants me to get my driver’s license before I become a mom so that I can easily access services and facilities in our city. I have explained that I have anxiety and am scared of driving. I don’t want to drive a car. I don’t think I would be a good driver, and I don’t want the stress of worrying about myself and other people on the road. However, we live in a small city with limited access to hospitals and schools, so I understand why he sees driving as important.

This leads to another issue: childcare. My partner wants me to return to work as soon as possible, which he believes should be about two years after the baby is born. We both currently have stable incomes and work in companies in a big city 30 mins away from the home. I am a foreigner living in Korea, and I worked in a private kindergarten for three years as a teacher. During that time, I witnessed a lot of child neglect and worse, so I am not willing to put my child in a daycare or kindergarten here in Korea. I would rather educate and care for my child at home until they are ready to start school. Ideally, I would like to stay home with our children until they are around 6–7 years old. I could still work remotely or on weekends. But he is so against it.

TL;DR: My partner is very traditional and wants me to do things his way because he is older and “knows better.” However, I want to raise my child in the way that I believe is best for them. I was a teacher at least? I know better? Opinions, please.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and I don’t think we’ve ever had a real fight about anything. Everything has been pretty smooth and peaceful. We text every day, celebrate special occasions together, and go on different dates about twice a month (we both work and have busy schedules).

I mean, everything looks good on paper. We talk about marriage, we talk about having kids. Once, I was cleaning my bathroom and found a pregnancy test that had been sitting there for a long time. On a whim, I took it, and it came back positive.

For context, we’re both healthy. I’ve seen his medical records, and he’s seen mine, so we haven’t been using protection for the past 5–6 months. When I told him about the positive result, he immediately stepped up. He was ready to be a father, started talking about us living together, planning a family budget, and making sure I could live comfortably without having to work.

But when we went to the clinic, it turned out the test had expired, so I wasn’t actually pregnant.

The thing is, he’s a good man. But I don’t love him. I don’t see myself as his wife or the mother of his children. On the other hand, I’m F29 and he’s M34. We’ve been together for a long time without any major conflicts. There’s trust, loyalty, and stability, and maybe that’s a good foundation for a family.

Still, whenever I see an attractive or genuinely nice guy somewhere, I notice it. I think things like, “Wow, he’s really handsome,” or “He seems so nice.” I follow other guys on Instagram, and sometimes I even feel jealous when I see other women with handsome, kind partners.

I don’t text or meet other men, and I would never cheat. That’s not who I am. **TL;DR;But this emotional detachment makes me feel uneasy**.

Should I break up with my boyfriend and look for someone who feels like a better match? Or is he actually good for me and I’m just bored? I don’t really know how to explain this feeling.

I am so confused about our future. Why?