u/vicfuentes22

my issue is, i also struggle with hoarding. i hoard perfumes, plushies and especially clothes very badly. yet, i have this conflicting issue where i always feel like i have too much yet not enough at once? i find myself not knowing if i truly like something or not. i find myself being able to throw away/donate things to “hold more space” very easily. i feel overwhelmed yet underwhelmed constantly.

i wish i could have birthday parties at my house, have my friends over for halloween, for game nights, or even just to hang out. i feel so trapped and i just wish i had a normal house and life. i don’t blame my mom because i know she dearly loves me and shes been through so much pain especially over these past years of my life, but i feel i’ve lost a part of myself too. i just wish everything could be different. i don’t know how to open up about this to anyone. how does it feel for you all?

i wore first kiss by demeter to mine, a nice sweet, yet crowd pleasing scent. what did u guys wear to urs went u went? <3

first kiss notes:

pansy, sugar, champagne

for me it’s like how i get attached so so easily and i get jealous too. (not like angry mean jealous, but like rlly sad and low jealous if that makes sense??)

when i was around 12, i started self harming. i started out slapping and hitting myself, i then started cutting my wrists. i would wear sleeves and i just remember how i had nobody and i was so isolated. i started again when i was a teen i cut all over my thighs. it started getting severe because cutting wasn’t enough, i started burning and i started getting very deep cuts. i did it everyday, then my parents figured out and i tried to stop for them.

i remember almost every incident that caused the scars i now have on my body, permanently. i feel ashamed and embarrassed, although i think a lot of it was from years of isolation, combined with rlly bad social anxiety.

it got out that i self harmed, and i thought it blew over at this point. i was sitting with a guy that i used to like. i cant even remember what came up but he told me that his family didn’t want us to be together basically due to the fact that i cut and that i “had too many issues”. this stuck with me. now i feel like i’ll never ever find anybody romantically because they’ll see my scars and see me completely differently.

how do i open up about that? i don’t want to be seen as broken. but now i don’t know how to open up, even though i’m in a better place now. i cant wear so much stuff now. the pain may be gone, but the scars stay forever. i dont want to be someone to pity me, i just want my scars to be healed. they’re all over my thighs and still haven’t healed years later.

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hi guys. i rlly like this guy. we used to see each other like once a week but ive been away and he’s been away for summer. i haven’t seen him in like a month and i miss him soo much. we went to prom together and he’s really kind and always initiates. i never do, so i wanna show him i care. but he shares a phone with his sibling.. and i don’t know how to text him without making it obvious i like him by saying that i want to specifically talk to him ifykwim?

i also tried in the past (like almost 2 yrs ago) and it was so awkward. what do i even do??????💔💔

hi

hi