u/villeneuves

I haven’t posted here before so do let me know if this is not an appropriate post for this sub and I will delete!

For context I am F25 and have identified as a feminist essentially my entire life, being raised by a woman who is a radical feminist has meant that I have always been super aware of the issues that affect women under the patriarchy. Whilst my feminism has always centred around women, I have also been sympathetic to transgender women as well (I cannot deny their struggles etc but do believe that their lived experience differs to that of our own).

Since the Drew Afualo stuff came out I do have to say that it has been some food for thought for me as I did feel offended when that woman stated “trans women have a more beautiful experience of womanhood”. To me I find this totally misogynistic and offensive and was really upset to hear it as I felt as though it has discounted my own experience as a woman in favour of people whose womanhood is learned.

I have been on Reddit reading about people’s reactions and stumbled across a specific subreddit for some members of the trans community and was seriously shocked to see the way they speak about us on there. Calling us “cissoids”, using other names for us and just general nastiness. It really upset me to see as I have historically been supportive of trans people in my day to day life as well as on the internet but it does feel as though they do not respect us whatsoever. Coming to this realisation has been really hard. Has anyone else gone from being a trans supporter to being more cynical? I would be interested to know.

Apologies if this is not the correct subreddit or if my question offends anyone, it is not my intention!

For context, I moved to the UK just post Covid from an EU country. Before I left people were telling me that British people are often very cold and hard to befriend etc (especially southerners). This has been the complete opposite of my experience and I have found Brits to be overwhelmingly kind and eager to help so I am curious where this stereotype has come from or where it first started?

Wondering if anyone can relate but I have been using dating apps again recently to try and put myself out there after being single for the last year to better understand myself.

On my dating profile I make explicit mention of my autism diagnosis for two reasons; the first being that I do see myself being with a neurodivergent man as I think we are able to better understand each other in some ways. My ex partner had ADHD and was a fantastic support system as he could relate to a lot of my struggles. The second reason is to be incredibly honest upfront as I do have bad days where I am a pain to be around and my autism affects my so much in my day to day life. I am not interested in a man who cannot support me in this sense.

The issue is, I have had my profile active for a week (I have since taken it down) and it has been an exceptionally uncomfortable experience. At first, I was excited to see that I had a lot of matches and that they were pretty much all men that I am also attracted to. My experience after this was terrible - I have counted and no less than 55% of the messages I have received have been totally inappropriate and make direct reference to my autism diagnosis. I don’t want to quote any directly in case they are triggering to others but I would consider them to be sexual harassment. Sexualising me, infantilising me, asking inappropriate questions. I really want to know where they get off here? If you are attracted to me why would you think I would respond to an inappropriate message! Further to this, I saw multiple accounts where men say they are specifically searching for a woman with autism and so I message asking why (expecting them to be ND like myself and this be the reasoning) none of them are ND and it seems that they want a girlfriend they can control completely and who is basically a child.

I feel so gullible and embarrassed right now, I have deleted the dating apps for now but it has given me a huge reality check.

I hate the way men treat me I’ve been bullied teased ignored harassed by them my entire life. I’m a KHHV and it’s totally pathetic the way I want their attention. I would love for a guy I’m crushing on to reciprocate my feelings but it’s just delusional my looks are past saving. It would be a miracle if even a guy who’s just average looking would be into me but I know it will never happen. Doomed to be a virgin forever, I’m already 21 and it feels hopeless.

Obviously those with Down syndrome have an extra chromosome so how would it work genetically if two people with an extra chromosome have a child?