u/whatasillymindthinks

I list I have on my phone to look at on my bad days. These things anchored me on days I simply could not get out of bed. I still come back when I’m having one of those days!

1. Change your environment. If you are bed rotting, count till 10 and get up. Just move outside of your room and to a different one.
2. Take a shower, wear a different set of clothes, moisturise and spray some perfume
3. Tidy your room or one section of it or just tidy anything in your home
4. Comb/style your hair properly, as if you were to step out
5. Drink water
6. Take a walk
7. Listen to music you haven’t in a while
8. Make something to eat or drink by yourself
9. Watch a comedy show/stand up comedy
10. Call a friend to not discuss your feelings but to just catch up or have a conversation
11. Make your own list❤️

Whatever you do, don’t multitask. Do one thing at a time. Take it slow!

I list I have on my phone to look at on my bad days. These things anchored me on days I simply could not get out of bed. I still come back when I’m having one of those days!

1. Change your environment. If you are bed rotting, count till 10 and get up. Just move outside of your room and to a different one.
2. Take a shower, wear a different set of clothes, moisturise and spray some perfume
3. Tidy your room or one section of it or just tidy anything in your home
4. Comb/style your hair properly, as if you were to step out
5. Drink water
6. Take a walk
7. Listen to music you haven’t in a while
8. Make something to eat or drink by yourself
9. Watch a comedy show/stand up comedy
10. Call a friend to not discuss your feelings but to just catch up or have a conversation
11. Make your own list❤️

Whatever you do, don’t multitask. Do one thing at a time. Take it slow!

This post is as much for someone with a heavy heart today as much as it is a reminder for me!

I’ve been through an intense heartbreak (1+ yr ago) and I made it to the other side of it and here are a few things I learned on my way:

- There’s no such thing as fully healed. You’ll never be fully healed or completely fixed. You are not a project but a human being who keeps growing, learning new things, building new value systems. Don’t keep yourself in a box and use healing as an excuse to put your life on hold. You can grieve and still enjoy a fuller life. Let grief and overcoming it be a part of your life not your identity.

- And while we are talking about healing, it does not ensure that no bad things happen to you. It helps you grow into a person who can recover from bad things quicker. Life will still happen to you. There will still be tough times that might come your way. You have to be someone who’s so grounded in their life that even if the ground shakes for a while, you know how to find your centre, how to come back to yourself again and again.

- Resentment towards any other human being in its true essence is being unkind to your own self. You are wasting your precious energy, your time and your attention on someone who is no longer a part of your world. This will keep you tethered to the past. The thoughts will come, the ache will resurface. Feel it and keep bringing your attention back to yourself. That’s how you gently release resentment, by bringing your attention back to yourself, not deliberately but intentionally.

- Nobody can do the emotional processing for you. Not your family, not your friends, not the next person you date. You will need to process it by yourself. Bring acceptance by yourself. People can support you in that journey, but they cannot do the emotional work for you. Find tools that can help you. Know that this is not the end of the world even if it might seem so. The self reliance that comes from all the emotional processing will be a gift that will add to your character in life. You’ll learn a lot about yourself in this process.

Lastly, keep taking care of yourself. Give yourself credit for all that you do to keep yourself moving forward in life. Acknowledge that you are going through a hard time. And live your life with a hope that it won’t be this way forever!

The final stage of healing truly is being able to imagine a better future for yourself. Even more so, being confident that you can build that better future.❤️

If someone would have told me a year and a half ago that today I’ll be writing this post, I wouldn’t have believed any of it, but today, here I am, sharing a piece of my heart with anyone who might need it today.

I will really start with a cliche and let you know right off the bat that it does get better, much much better than what you currently expect.
Dealing with my last heartbreak was one of the toughest things I have experienced yet but it truly became a catalyst for me becoming a better version of myself, a version I always wanted to be. (No, I did not end up making lots of money or taking fancy trips, but I grew in all aspects of life)

Here are a few things I did/I realised that truly helped make things better, not just the heartbreak but truly made me a better person for myself:

1. Small consistent wins, everyday:
You don’t have to start big, you don’t have to transform your life in one day/one week/one month. All you have to do is, start making small promises to yourself and keep them daily. It can be as small as drinking 4 glasses of water or reading 5 pages of a book or walking for 10 mins. Trust me, I know it’s really hard to pick yourself back up after a heartbreak, but everyday you keep your promises, you stack a win towards a different life, a life that will encourage you to move forward.

I started with three habits:
- Taking a walk for 30 mins each day
- Reading 10 pages of a feel good book
- Eating 1 fruit a day (it was really hard to eat during early stages for me)

Track these in a small diary. When you see evidence of your small wins, it will help you feel better and know you can get better.

2. Physical Movement
Taking care of your physical body will not only help you become fitter, it will help you become more confident in yourself and bring your clarity of mind. Any kind of physical movement - walking, running, gymming, yoga, pilates. Whatever it is that you choose, it does not matter. But pick one!
Start small, start with 10 mins a day and build on it. You’ll learn something new if you haven’t moved before. If you have, it’ll help you get back into momentum. Use that to truly start taking care of your physical appearance. Once you start to level up, you’ll recognise that you can do hard things, you can take care of yourself and truly look physically attractive!

A year into truly dedicating to physical movement, I’ve not only gotten fitter/hotter but now it is a lifestyle for me that helps me move better and then also eventually eat better.

3. Journaling
At first I used to find it very bogus, just writing for myself, writing my thoughts. It felt funny and useless. But now, again, it is a part of my life, a daily habit.
I’ve filled endless pages (multiple notebooks) in this duration. Writing down what you feel not just only helps you let it out but also declutters your mind. Eventually it will help you recognise your own thoughts that run in patterns and your feelings that run in spirals. You’ll be able to identify your own emotions, what causes them, your reactions and eventually your blindspots too!
My journey started with me just writing about how I was feeling to now being able to observe even my unconscious thoughts on everyday basis.

If you are clueless and don’t know where to start, you can simply search for journal prompts and start with answering them. If that’s not something you relate to you can do some gratitude journaling as well - try to write one thing you are truly grateful for at the end of the day and try to do it regularly. It will help reinstate your mind and body with a little spark of positivity each day.

4. Family and friends
No matter how much you wish to isolate and stay to yourself, I cannot emphasise enough that you truly need human connection at this point. You don’t have to tell anyone about what you are going through if you feel like it but it’s important to spend time with other human beings you find comfort with, you feel good with. An hour spent having fun with your friends and laughing your heart out will do more healing for you than anything else can. In no way shape or form I mean that you depend on other people for your healing, no, that’s still something you have to do for yourself. But take yourself out, spend time with your loved ones and you’ll realise not all is wrong in the world or WITH YOU. There are people who dote on you and will love you despite your heartbreak. Let them love you.
Invest in these friendships and family members, spend time with them, talk to them and truly appreciate them. Cultivating more relationships in your life outside of romantic relationships, goes a long way, heartbreak or not.

I did not have a lot of friends durning my relationship, so it was hard for me after. But I eventually found my people. I genuinely invested my love and effort in building in these connections over the last year and I’m truly grateful for my friends and family today!

The list can go on, but these are a few points I would share with someone who’s been through a heartbreak recently. I won’t lie, it takes time to get better, to feel better and honestly there’s no standard timeline. But I would say, take your sweet time. The more you try to pretend to ‘be over it’ the longer it takes. Accept that you loved and for whatever reasons it ended up not working out. Accept that you are heartbroken and now in pain. Accept that it’s now your responsibility to get better and no one else’s. Have faith that you will get better, feel better and eventually this will all help you become a better person.

I did not mention the obvious things that stop any contact with the ex and remove memories/reminders of them, not out of spite but for yourself. Out of sight, out of mind is 100% a thing.

Lastly, all I want to say is, this year has truly brought about so many changes in me that today I feel I am a more confident person and I know myself better - good and bad both. I’m the most authentic version of myself yet, I got my spark back. I’ve genuinely found my happiness and lead life with a much better approach. I’m yet to find my person, but all I know is leading an authentic life will eventually lead me to my ideal partner too, sooner or later.

To anyone reading this with a heavy heart, I hope you feel better soon.
Lots of love xx
❤️❤️

If someone would have told me a year and a half ago that today I’ll be writing this post, I wouldn’t have believed any of it, but today, here I am, sharing a piece of my heart with anyone who might need it today.

I will really start with a cliche and let you know right off the bat that it does get better, much much better than what you currently expect.
Dealing with my last heartbreak was one of the toughest things I have experienced yet but it truly became a catalyst for me becoming a better version of myself, a version I always wanted to be. (No, I did not end up making lots of money or taking fancy trips, but I grew in all aspects of life)

Here are a few things I did/I realised that truly helped make things better, not just the heartbreak but truly made me a better person for myself:

1. Small consistent wins, everyday:
   You don’t have to start big, you don’t have to transform your life in one day/one week/one month. All you have to do is, start making small promises to yourself and keep them daily. It can be as small as drinking 4 glasses of water or reading 5 pages of a book or walking for 10 mins. Trust me, I know it’s really hard to pick yourself back up after a heartbreak, but everyday you keep your promises, you stack a win towards a different life, a life that will encourage you to move forward.

I started with three habits:
- Taking a walk for 30 mins each day
- Reading 10 pages of a feel good book
- Eating 1 fruit a day (it was really hard to eat during early stages for me)

Track these in a small diary. When you see evidence of your small wins, it will help you feel better and know you can get better.

2. Physical Movement
   Taking care of your physical body will not only help you become fitter, it will help you become more confident in yourself and bring your clarity of mind. Any kind of physical movement - walking, running, gymming, yoga, pilates. Whatever it is that you choose, it does not matter. But pick one!
   Start small, start with 10 mins a day and build on it. You’ll learn something new if you haven’t moved before. If you have, it’ll help you get back into momentum. Use that to truly start taking care of your physical appearance. Once you start to level up, you’ll recognise that you can do hard things, you can take care of yourself and truly look physically attractive!

A year into truly dedicating to physical movement, I’ve not only gotten fitter/hotter but now it is a lifestyle for me that helps me move better and then also eventually eat better.

3. Journaling
   At first I used to find it very bogus, just writing for myself, writing my thoughts. It felt funny and useless. But now, again, it is a part of my life, a daily habit.
   I’ve filled endless pages (multiple notebooks) in this duration. Writing down what you feel not just only helps you let it out but also declutters your mind. Eventually it will help you recognise your own thoughts that run in patterns and your feelings that run in spirals. You’ll be able to identify your own emotions, what causes them, your reactions and eventually your blindspots too!
   My journey started with me just writing about how I was feeling to now being able to observe even my unconscious thoughts on everyday basis.

If you are clueless and don’t know where to start, you can simply search for journal prompts and start with answering them. If that’s not something you relate to you can do some gratitude journaling as well - try to write one thing you are truly grateful for at the end of the day and try to do it regularly. It will help reinstate your mind and body with a little spark of positivity each day.

4. Family and friends
   No matter how much you wish to isolate and stay to yourself, I cannot emphasise enough that you truly need human connection at this point. You don’t have to tell anyone about what you are going through if you feel like it but it’s important to spend time with other human beings you find comfort with, you feel good with. An hour spent having fun with your friends and laughing your heart out will do more healing for you than anything else can. In no way shape or form I mean that you depend on other people for your healing, no, that’s still something you have to do for yourself. But take yourself out, spend time with your loved ones and you’ll realise not all is wrong in the world or WITH YOU. There are people who dote on you and will love you despite your heartbreak. Let them love you.
   Invest in these friendships and family members, spend time with them, talk to them and truly appreciate them. Cultivating more relationships in your life outside of romantic relationships, goes a long way, heartbreak or not.

I did not have a lot of friends durning my relationship, so it was hard for me after. But I eventually found my people. I genuinely invested my love and effort in building in these connections over the last year and I’m truly grateful for my friends and family today!

The list can go on, but these are a few points I would share with someone who’s been through a heartbreak recently. I won’t lie, it takes time to get better, to feel better and honestly there’s no standard timeline. But I would say, take your sweet time. The more you try to pretend to ‘be over it’ the longer it takes. Accept that you loved and for whatever reasons it ended up not working out. Accept that you are heartbroken and now in pain. Accept that it’s now your responsibility to get better and no one else’s. Have faith that you will get better, feel better and eventually this will all help you become a better person.

I did not mention the obvious things that stop any contact with the ex and remove memories/reminders of them, not out of spite but for yourself. Out of sight, out of mind is 100% a thing.

Lastly, all I want to say is, this year has truly brought about so many changes in me that today I feel I am a more confident person and I know myself better - good and bad both. I’m the most authentic version of myself yet, I got my spark back. I’ve genuinely found my happiness and lead life with a much better approach. I’m yet to find my person, but all I know is leading an authentic life will eventually lead me to my ideal partner too, sooner or later.

To anyone reading this with a heavy heart, I hope you feel better soon.
Lots of love xx
❤️❤️

If someone would have told me a year and a half ago that today I’ll be writing this post, I wouldn’t have believed any of it, but today, here I am, sharing a piece of my heart with anyone who might need it today.

I will really start with a cliche and let you know right off the bat that it does get better, much much better than what you currently expect.
Dealing with my last heartbreak was one of the toughest things I have experienced yet but it truly became a catalyst for me becoming a better version of myself, a version I always wanted to be. (No, I did not end up making lots of money or taking fancy trips, but I grew in all aspects of life)

Here are a few things I did/I realised that truly helped make things better, not just the heartbreak but truly made me a better person for myself:

1. Small consistent wins, everyday:
You don’t have to start big, you don’t have to transform your life in one day/one week/one month. All you have to do is, start making small promises to yourself and keep them daily. It can be as small as drinking 4 glasses of water or reading 5 pages of a book or walking for 10 mins. Trust me, I know it’s really hard to pick yourself back up after a heartbreak, but everyday you keep your promises, you stack a win towards a different life, a life that will encourage you to move forward.

I started with three habits:
- Taking a walk for 30 mins each day
- Reading 10 pages of a feel good book
- Eating 1 fruit a day (it was really hard to eat during early stages for me)

Track these in a small diary. When you see evidence of your small wins, it will help you feel better and know you can get better.

2. Physical Movement
Taking care of your physical body will not only help you become fitter, it will help you become more confident in yourself and bring your clarity of mind. Any kind of physical movement - walking, running, gymming, yoga, pilates. Whatever it is that you choose, it does not matter. But pick one!
Start small, start with 10 mins a day and build on it. You’ll learn something new if you haven’t moved before. If you have, it’ll help you get back into momentum. Use that to truly start taking care of your physical appearance. Once you start to level up, you’ll recognise that you can do hard things, you can take care of yourself and truly look physically attractive!

A year into truly dedicating to physical movement, I’ve not only gotten fitter/hotter but now it is a lifestyle for me that helps me move better and then also eventually eat better.

3. Journaling
At first I used to find it very bogus, just writing for myself, writing my thoughts. It felt funny and useless. But now, again, it is a part of my life, a daily habit.
I’ve filled endless pages (multiple notebooks) in this duration. Writing down what you feel not just only helps you let it out but also declutters your mind. Eventually it will help you recognise your own thoughts that run in patterns and your feelings that run in spirals. You’ll be able to identify your own emotions, what causes them, your reactions and eventually your blindspots too!
My journey started with me just writing about how I was feeling to now being able to observe even my unconscious thoughts on everyday basis.

If you are clueless and don’t know where to start, you can simply search for journal prompts and start with answering them. If that’s not something you relate to you can do some gratitude journaling as well - try to write one thing you are truly grateful for at the end of the day and try to do it regularly. It will help reinstate your mind and body with a little spark of positivity each day.

4. Family and friends
No matter how much you wish to isolate and stay to yourself, I cannot emphasise enough that you truly need human connection at this point. You don’t have to tell anyone about what you are going through if you feel like it but it’s important to spend time with other human beings you find comfort with, you feel good with. An hour spent having fun with your friends and laughing your heart out will do more healing for you than anything else can. In no way shape or form I mean that you depend on other people for your healing, no, that’s still something you have to do for yourself. But take yourself out, spend time with your loved ones and you’ll realise not all is wrong in the world or WITH YOU. There are people who dote on you and will love you despite your heartbreak. Let them love you.
Invest in these friendships and family members, spend time with them, talk to them and truly appreciate them. Cultivating more relationships in your life outside of romantic relationships, goes a long way, heartbreak or not.

I did not have a lot of friends durning my relationship, so it was hard for me after. But I eventually found my people. I genuinely invested my love and effort in building in these connections over the last year and I’m truly grateful for my friends and family today!

The list can go on, but these are a few points I would share with someone who’s been through a heartbreak recently. I won’t lie, it takes time to get better, to feel better and honestly there’s no standard timeline. But I would say, take your sweet time. The more you try to pretend to ‘be over it’ the longer it takes. Accept that you loved and for whatever reasons it ended up not working out. Accept that you are heartbroken and now in pain. Accept that it’s now your responsibility to get better and no one else’s. Have faith that you will get better, feel better and eventually this will all help you become a better person.

I did not mention the obvious things that stop any contact with the ex and remove memories/reminders of them, not out of spite but for yourself. Out of sight, out of mind is 100% a thing.

Lastly, all I want to say is, this year has truly brought about so many changes in me that today I feel I am a more confident person and I know myself better - good and bad both. I’m the most authentic version of myself yet, I got my spark back. I’ve genuinely found my happiness and lead life with a much better approach. I’m yet to find my person, but all I know is leading an authentic life will eventually lead me to my ideal partner too, sooner or later.

To anyone reading this with a heavy heart, I hope you feel better soon.
Lots of love xx
❤️❤️