I've put down three chis since November. The last one was yesterday. They were my little crew for years and though they were old, it was heart breaking to lose all of them. This little lady needed a home and moved in at the beginning of the month. I was worried that it was too soon and that I'd never get over my other dogs, but she's been wonderful to have around and I feel like she's helping me heal. Everyone, meet Muñeca.
It's the last day of the last month she was alive. There will be no new pictures of her in my phone. I'm so so sad and nothing got done today. I've been doing better, but it just hit me all over again today.
I put my dog down on June 4th. I have had such crazy dreams since, trying to process everything that happened. Some days I'm better, some days all I can do is sleep.
This was the first day I was able to get through without taking any pills or drinking. I mucked out the pile of dirty dishes and garbage that had formed next to my bed. I took a shower for the first time since I put her down.
I am so, so, so sad every moment of the day, and I haven't wanted to hear it when people tell me "it gets easier." I did not, however, work for years to overcome substance abuse and mental illness just to fall back into depression and addiction. My baby was 14, she was spoiled, she had a great life, she passed peacefully in my arms and I couldn't ask for better than that.
I'm going to grieve and cry and miss her forever, but I'm going to get through this with my life intact. Part of me feels like she hung on until she knew I was stable enough to live without her. I am, and I will always love her.
My 14 year old chihuahua passed in my arms three days ago. It was the right decision. The last week of her life she wasn't walking, eating, or really moving from one spot. I held her as they gave her the shots, I wouldn't have it any other way. She'd been to the vet 3x in the last two weeks and her lungs were more inflamed every time despite massive amounts of antibiotics.
The pain is unbearable. All I can do is look at pictures of her and listen to sad music. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to manage. She was my whole life, my whole routine. No one wakes me up in the morning now, no one sleeps beside me while I work from home, I have no one to give pills to on a schedule.
I just don't know how I'm going to handle this forever.
My baby Chichi is no longer eating, drinking or walking. She's scheduled for a follow up with the vet on Tuesday and I think I'm just going to put her down because I can't watch her suffer. We've been through everything together for the past 11 years. I am devastated and I don't think I'll be able to follow this sub anymore after she's gone. Everyone is telling me she had an amazing life getting spoiled with me. This is never going to stop hurting.
She had breast cancer. Then got diagnosed with CHF and was on meds for two years. Then they said she was misdiagnosed but her lungs were inflamed. She went to the vet this morning because she was limping and they found a raging infection and think she might have lung cancer. She's 14, we've been together for 11 years. She's so sick and not herself, I just feel terrible for her. I don't want her to suffer, if it's her time it's her time, but I'm incredibly bummed because I love this dog so much.
And literally my worst nightmare that I've had multiple times is one of my chihuahuas escaping the yard and getting eaten by a coyote. I live in a small desert town, I hear coyotes hunting and killing things all the time. The only thing making this ok for me right now is that the dog was not harmed in real life. I seriously don't know if I can continue watching. Just had to get that out somewhere.
It was 90+ in southern Arizona today and my teenage chis were loving it.