u/wili__duplo

I (M21) have feelings for my best friend (F22, I’ll call her R.) and I don’t know what to do
I’ve known R. for about 3–4 years. We met while working a part-time job at a pizza delivery service.
At first, I just thought she was attractive and wanted to get to know her better. However, things between us never really worked out over the years because she was constantly moving from one relationship to another. During all of that, I was always there for her.
When she started dating her now-ex, he didn’t like the fact that we were friends and limited our contact. After they broke up, I helped her move, and during that time we became much closer.
We started flirting more, texting a lot, and eventually FaceTiming almost every day.
There was one moment that really made me question my feelings. She called me in the middle of the night and asked if I could pick her up. I did. We drove around for about two hours, and afterwards she didn’t want to go home she wanted to come back to my place.
I said no because she was very drunk. But the bigger reason was that I realized I didn’t just want her physically anymore. I actually cared about her deeply, and I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation.
When I realized I had feelings for her, I told myself I shouldn’t act on them because our friendship means more to me than a one-night stand or anything like that. So I started online dating again and I’m currently in the talking stage with someone. It’s been going well for about a month.
R. is also very close with my mom. They text each other sometimes and even send each other Snaps.
Before I realized my feelings for R., both of our parents used to joke that we would end up getting married one day. I always laughed it off and said she wasn’t really my type because of her personality.
But things have changed. We talk almost every day, support each other, and are there for each other. Now I honestly don’t know what to think.
Especially because she keeps sending me flirty things. For example, yesterday she sent me a TikTok joking that I should call her “Mommy”. Things like that aren’t a one-time thing either.
Then something happened this weekend.
On Saturday, R. called me and told me that the night before she had been very drunk and went home with an acquaintance (M17). She told me nothing happened, but she knew there was another party the next day and said she didn’t want to go home with him again.
Saturday evening, she called me again and asked if I could pick her up and drive her to him (M17).
Of course, I did it because she is my friend and I would do the same for anyone I care about. I had also already told another friend that I would pick him up from the party, so I was going to drive anyway.
But on the way back, I started thinking: “What kind of person am I?”
I was literally driving the girl I have feelings for to someone else’s place, while at the same time I’m in a talking stage with another person and possibly giving her hope.
I felt terrible because I do like the person I’m currently talking to, and I don’t want to be unfair to her either.
R. and I have a very similar taste in music, and in this genre there are a lot of love songs. While I was driving her to him, one of those songs from my playlist started playing. She turned it up really loud and looked over at me.
I know that isn’t proof of anything. It could mean absolutely nothing. But after everything that has happened between us, moments like that make me overthink.
I genuinely don’t know what I should do.
Should I tell R. how I feel and risk changing our friendship forever? Should I keep quiet and continue being her best friend? Or should I focus on the person I’m currently getting to know?
I’d appreciate any advice.