u/wintersurvivor

Listening to Nettspend makes me desperately want to become a man lol. Anyone else?

So I basically visit this sub every single day just to check whether my ex had posted a story about our break up and their struggles. I understand how unlikely this situation is. Still, everyday i look up all the posts under certain tags with hope of finding out that they actually care about me and feel remorse about losing me.
Why am i so fcked up ?

So yeah, the day has come. We’ve been talking for more than a year, and I really liked his personality. But he was inconsistent, and I started becoming really dependent on his behavior. Moreover, struggling with an addiction, I tended to relapse either when he ghosted me or, on the contrary, when he was so nice that I couldn’t handle the feelings.

Today, after relapsing again, I decided that, unfortunately, I can’t afford to stay in such an unstable relationship. I’ve just left him a message explaining my feelings and stating that I can’t keep going like this anymore.

I feel shaky, cold, and nauseous and already miss him. He hasn’t read message yet. It’s possible that tomorrow i’ll hate myself for breaking up with him. BPD sucks.

All-in wasn’t a match for me. Despite having restrictive background, I tend to avoid emotional pain by eating and I am really impulsive.
I’m also diagnosed with BPD which may explain why my brain works this way.

In early recovery I ate a lot, felt no control around food and people usually tried to calm me down. They said that it was just extreme hunger. They meant good. I tried to persuade myself everything is fine and I just need to calm down and let myself eat as much as I want.

But with time it only got worse: I got even more impulsive, lost any kind of control around food and binges became more massive and chaotic. Now I binge almost everyday. I neither compensate for overeating, nor follow any diet rules.
Currently I started working with a psychotherapist in DBT method. We came to conclusion that my episodes of overeating are emotionally driven. I
hope therapy helps..

Anyways the message of this post was not to scare people into not doing all-in recovery. It definitely works for a lot of people! Sometimes it’s the only effective way of recovery! But it didn’t work for me. And I believe we shouldn’t tell every person who struggles with overeating in recovery to just accept it and not pay any attention to it. We should normalise willingness to understand the motives behind eating. We should normalise having BED after restricting ED. That’s okay, that happens to some people and that’s not the end of the world!

I know the topic of EH is extremely controversial and there many different opinions on this topic. I would be interested to read yours!
F*ck EDs! ✌️

Hi guys. So after a decade of struggling with all kinds of EDs, I’ve been recently diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder.
For the last 2 years I’m struggling with binge-restrict cycle. I go through periods of eating 8000-12000 calories daily to eating almost nothing at all. Each period lasts a couple of weeks.
I’ve started working with a qualified psychotherapist and now I’m trying to stick to my meal plan, but the emotional disregulation makes it so much harder.
Some days I feel almost suic*dal when I try not to binge.

Anyways, I just wanted to ask, is there anyone who also had been diagnosed with BPD? And if yes, how do manage to regulate your emotions when they get so loud?
Thanks a lot in advance and I’m roooting for all people in this sub. Take care guys! 🍀