u/witchynapper

I was recently informed that an email went out from my head of office saying that employees could take off early before Labor Day. I did not get one. I was told by my coworker that the email said it only went out to “high performing employees.”

My head of office has never seemed to like me. He started about 2 years into my career and has just been off putting since. He will have 45 minute long conversations with other junior staff, but whenever I try to talk to him, he cuts the conversation off immediately. I have not had a convo with him that lasted longer than 3 minutes. I don’t know why and I don’t know why I would ever be considered a “low performing employee.”

Maybe I’m not always the smartest person in the room, it’s true. I don’t have the mind of an engineer. But I work very hard and I care deeply. I’m intelligent, work long hours, compete my work in good time frames, and am very utilized. This year I have really tried to expand my skills. I have been given more opportunities to grow and taken on more managerial type roles for drilling and long term sampling projects. This was a little bit of a learning curve but i think it’s a given and I got the hang of things. I am a team player and took on being in charge of our monthly meetings despite it not being in my comfort zone and is not billable. I had a piece of feedback last year about my communication and not emailing back fast enough so I have focused heavily on improving that.

I have been at this company over 3 years and I have gotten 2 standard raises, around 10% raise total. I can make proposals so I can see how much my other employees make. A woman with limited experience is at around 1.5-2 years and she is making much more than me. An employee, who was very much a horrible employee, aggressive, widely regarded as not very smart (couldn’t even do a phase 1) and was ultimately fired for his rude comments. He apparently got a big raise last year and was making more than me when employed. People that just started are not making much less than me.

I have a personal manager and I would like to have a convo with her but I don’t know how to frame this. Performance reviews are starting soon and 2 months after that is when we find out about raises. I really am looking for perhaps a title change (perhaps assistant manager) because I don’t think I’m being compensated fairly at all and I think it’s time I continued growing. But given this knowledge and email I guess I can assume that’s not happening. But I don’t know the appropriate way to talk about that. Or should I speak directly to my head of office and get down to what he thinks I can do better? I’m just genuinely very upset and confused.

I have androgenic alopecia. I lost about a quarter of my hair in the shower this morning. Every time I run my hand through my hair more comes out. Big clumps. I usually shed a lot but not this much. And seeing it all in my hands is making me very upset. And I can’t stop crying.

I lost a lot of weight a few months ago and maybe that’s catching up with my body. I don’t know. But I’m just so tired and sad and unsatisfied with the way I look. I called my mom and she was just like “well you know this is the nature of what you have. What do you want me to say? It’s going to get better?” As if I’m not allowed to be upset. I’m so frustrated.

This isn’t really about treatment but I stopped buying and using rogaine about a year ago. It was too expensive and I wasn’t sure it was making a difference. I do have an appointment w my derm in a few weeks to get on oral minox but I feel pessimistic. Yes. Im feeling sorry for myself. I wish I had normal hair and that I didn’t look like this in my 20s.

I’m looking for some recommendations (besides Elin Hilderbrand) that bring me back to the vibes of being at a New England beach in the summer.

I’m 26 and have NEVER been able to wear heels. No matter which pair I am wearing, I get intense, burning pain in the ball of my foot. I was in a wedding and had to wear heels and the 1 hour standing at the alter and taking pics left 4 of my toes numb for days. I love the look of heels but I don’t know how other women and even teenagers wear them without crying. What is the secret? I want to learn 😭