u/withnosuprises

Lately, my OCD/ROCD has me stuck in an agonizing cycle of constant waiting and obsessing. I spend my days ruminating, compulsively checking my phone for a text from my girlfriend, or just waiting for time to pass so the constant background anxiety stops. I’m wasting my days feeling this heavy, almost painful need for attention and reassurance. It feels exactly like an addiction, and it makes me feel miserable 24/7. Because of this endless mental loop, I've completely stopped taking care of myself.

To clarify, I am not physically isolated. I have friends and a girlfriend. My issue is that my brain makes me completely dependent on their attention to feel "safe." If there is a slight delay in a text, the intrusive thoughts start spiraling. I let their attention (or lack thereof) dictate my mood way too much. I want to stop expecting so much from them and break this cycle of constant reassurance-seeking. I want to learn how to be genuinely happy with myself, and most importantly, I want to do things for me, rather than doing them to escape my anxiety or to be perceived by others. I desperately need to break out of this state.

I have one big request: Please don't give me the usual cliché, pseudo-scientific advice. I don't want to hear the standard "just hit the gym, do a dopamine detox, or just distract yourself" speech. We all know the theory, and I'm exhausted by empty self-help platitudes.

I want to read real experiences. Things that actually worked for you. I am looking for advice that touches the soul, shifts my perspective, and genuinely applies to living with this disorder daily.

I’d love to hear your personal stories on:

• How did you break the compulsion of constantly waiting for texts and seeking external reassurance?
• How did you stop the endless rumination and genuinely start having a good time by yourself, without your brain constantly finding a new doubt to obsess over?
• How do you protect yourself from the crushing depression and burnout that comes after an OCD spike?

I really want to read the perspectives of people who have actually internalized how to be self-sufficient and manage these obsessions in practice, not just in theory.

Thank you so much in advance to anyone willing to share their genuine experiences.

Lately, I've found myself stuck in a cycle of constantly waiting—waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to make a move, or just waiting for time to pass. I’m wasting my days feeling this heavy need for attention and validation. It feels almost like an addiction, and I've completely stopped taking care of myself. I really need to break out of this state.

I have one big request: Please don't give me the usual cliché, pseudo-scientific advice. I don't want to hear the standard "just hit the gym, do a dopamine detox, or get a hobby" speech. We all know the theory, and I'm exhausted by empty self-help platitudes.

I want to read real experiences. Things that actually worked for you. I am looking for advice that touches the soul, shifts my perspective, and genuinely applies to daily life.

I’d love to hear your personal stories on:

• How did you genuinely start having a good time by yourself and enjoying your hobbies without feeling a void?
• How do you protect yourself from the crushing depression of loneliness?
• How did you stop spending your days desperately needing attention and stop waiting for others to validate your existence?

I really want to read the perspectives of people who have actually internalized how to be self-sufficient in practice, not just in theory.

Thank you so much in advance to anyone willing to share their genuine experiences.

To clarify, I am not physically isolated. I have friends and a girlfriend. My issue is that I am completely dependent on their attention. I let their attention (or lack thereof) dictate my mood way too much. I spend my days feeling this heavy need for validation, and it feels almost like an addiction. I want to stop expecting so much from them. I want to learn how to be genuinely happy with myself, and most importantly, I want to do things for me, rather than doing them for the external gaze or to be perceived by others. I need to break out of this state.

Lately, I've found myself stuck in a cycle of constantly waiting—waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to make a move, or just waiting for time to pass. I’m wasting my days feeling this heavy need for attention and validation. It feels almost like an addiction, and I've completely stopped taking care of myself. I really need to break out of this state.

I have one big request: Please don't give me the usual cliché, pseudo-scientific advice. I don't want to hear the standard "just hit the gym, do a dopamine detox, or get a hobby" speech. We all know the theory, and I'm exhausted by empty self-help platitudes.

I want to read real experiences. Things that actually worked for you. I am looking for advice that touches the soul, shifts my perspective, and genuinely applies to daily life.

I’d love to hear your personal stories on:

• How did you genuinely start having a good time by yourself and enjoying your hobbies without feeling a void?
• How do you protect yourself from the crushing depression of loneliness?
• How did you stop spending your days desperately needing attention and stop waiting for others to validate your existence?

I really want to read the perspectives of people who have actually internalized how to be self-sufficient in practice, not just in theory.

Thank you so much in advance to anyone willing to share their genuine experiences.

To clarify, I am not physically isolated. I have friends and a girlfriend. My issue is that I am completely dependent on their attention. I let their attention (or lack thereof) dictate my mood way too much. I spend my days feeling this heavy need for validation, and it feels almost like an addiction. I want to stop expecting so much from them. I want to learn how to be genuinely happy with myself, and most importantly, I want to do things for me, rather than doing them for the external gaze or to be perceived by others. I need to break out of this state.

It successfully maintained everything that made the first book great. However, I have mixed feelings about the ending. There were some narrative choices I strongly disliked. They felt unnecessary and 'almost' undermined the dramatic weight the story had built up so far. Overall, I'm thrilled to have found this new world to escape into, but it still left a slightly bad taste in my mouth.

edit: choices:

Jasnah's fake-out death, Szeth surviving, Renarin being revealed as a Radiant, Dalinar turning out to be a Radiant (I assume Adolin is next). It cheapens something that was supposed to be incredibly rare and significant, making it feel commonplace. Add to that the blatant plot armor, the inability to kill off main characters (especially using completely unnecessary death fake-outs)...

edit2: Dalinar's 'you are the one I’ve been looking for' line really got to me. But then, the whole 'I need to be one to lead them, bam, I know the words, now I'm a Radiant' thing felt really cheap in my opinion.

edit3: Yeah, fair point, it is true that someone holding Stormlight is incredibly hard to kill. I might have overlooked that a bit, at least in Jasnah's case. But if she wasn't actually going to die, I wish it hadn't been played off so heavily as a real death. Her 'death' really served Shallan's character development, and I wish it had stayed that way. How do I put this... her being alive kind of stripped away the gravity that her 'death' initially brought to the story.

I love death-grief arcs.

Final Edit: As I said at the beginning, I really loved the book—or rather, the series. I'll definitely keep reading. It’s been the perfect escape for me lately. I slapped a solid 5 stars on it on Goodreads, guys. It's all good, I'm not a hater. I just wanted to share the parts that killed my vibe a bit.

Thanks for all the comments. Some of them really changed my perspective, some made me feel heard, and some of you definitely tried to roast me! I enjoyed all of it. Glad to be a part of this community.