u/woolen_goose

First time here and new to Alzheimer’s info all around. I have an elderly neighbor, let’s call her Dee and her husband Bob, whose MS progressed to Alzheimer’s a year ago. We’ve been in our spot about 2.5 years and that’s how long I’ve known them. They are in their early 70s.

Dee has now had three random episodes of rage screaming at me and being slightly physical. She says she is trying to teach me lessons out of love but everything she says doesn’t apply to me and I’m pretty sure she is conflating/confabulating memories or relationships she has with estranged family members who have gone low or no contact with her. I don’t know the circumstances there either.

Dee has otherwise been sweet. Her personality type does seem to be a bit alienating, overbearing, and proselytizing though.

Dee’s recent episode happened in front of my son and she scared him. She apologized in a text but then continued with the same cruel and angry words in text. She reached out first but it seemed like more of a bait/switch for her to continue after “apologizing.”

I’m not sure how much of this is Alzheimer’s or just her tbh but she definitely has me confused with ideas of someone else.

Bob seems exhausted and I feel sad for him. He started smoking again and will sit outside for long periods looking run down sometimes. (I am a caretaker to a disabled child so I do the same and know that feeling when I see it.) He has been kind and generous to us, helping me with my disabled son and our medical appointments frequently. He comes over to hang out sometimes, like a dad to me (my father died during Covid) and grandpa to my son.

I want to be able to be there for them but her episodes get worse and worse; she seems to have latched onto projecting things into me recently. I live somewhere that I don’t have friends or family, even for selfish reasons of preserving something for my son, I would like to try to keep them in our lives.

Sorry that was long but I really need advice from people who know about this. Are there rules or boundaries to implement that are still compassionate towards her condition? If Alzheimer’s weren’t part of the picture, I would have matched her energy and removed us immediately but it felt unfair considering she clearly has mental health issues.

She recently forgot Bob’s name in conversation (married for 50 years) and she tends to be a night walker now, if that helps to explain possibly how far along she is in progression.

Thanks in advance if you’ve read this far and offer advice!

Site permissions haven’t changed and no changes to site since yesterday. Site shows it is still published to public.

The site is completely down. Checked in Chrome and Brave on Windows, Safari on iOS.

Any known issues that could cause this? The server should be fine if the admin panel is up, right?

Also, the site is native to SS and has been live for weeks, so not a DNS issue. Thanks for any insight!