r/Alzheimers

My mother is in the process of getting an Alzheimer's diagnosis. She's done the MRI (showing shrinkage) and bloodwork (showing Tau & A-beta markers) and a cognitive test (which she did very well on, 29/30). Still to come are PET scan and neurologist follow-up, but it seems pretty clear that this is where she's heading. Her medical record currently says "mild cognitive impairment, likely due to Alzheimer’s." We're told that the neurologist is going to discuss the 2 options for infusions that could clear the amyloid plaques for a period time.

We're starting to look at "continuum of care" facilities where a person can live in officially Independent Living, Assisted Living, or Memory Care as needed. She currently lives alone and does very well with that, and she loves her independent life.

My question: Is it likely that these facilities will require a medical assessment before agreeing to a contract with her, and would the "MCI likely due to Alzheimer's" mean she wouldn't be allowed to start at the Independent Living level? Or does this vary by facility? (I realize the next step is to call the facilities and ask, but I'm trying to avoid them establishing a file on her before we're ready.)

Thanks in advance for guidance or insight!

Do you have dementia or does your loved one? I’m in early dementia and I’m documenting my decline in real time. The Fourth of July fireworks terrified me last night in a way that has NEVER happened before and I was rendered totally incapacitated to speak or explain or function for several hours.

https://youtube.com/shorts/MqT1nSH1Kkk?is=6yHAdHgGZCpIzgfR

If you’re interested in what REALLY happens in dementia I talk about it on my channel “ my brain’s black box - in case this ends badly”.

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My father started transitioning in her late 30s when i was a teenager.She divorced my mother, started hormonal therapy, got facial surgeries them finally got srs surgery when she was 44.

She was happy for the next years and lived full time as a woman but it all came crashing down recently.

She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer/Dementia after she turned 48 (2 years ago) and it has rapidly progressed despite monthly medical consultations and many different theurapeutical approaches.

Her recent memory is mostly ruinned,she remebers me and my sister as teenagers,she often thinks she is still married to my mom or that she is still working in her old job.

But the worst part is that she still thinks she is a man.Sometimes she completelly forgets about her transition,from the hormonal therapy to the surgeries.

Once or twice a week she will wake me up screaming that something is wrong with her,that she urinated herself while trying to pee standing up,that her penis is gone,that she has breasts and looks like a "transvestite".

She gets desperate and angry.I try to explain to her what happened in the last 10 years but most of the times she refuses to believe and becomes even more agressive and paranoid

While she often can accept that i am no longer a teenager and that she is divorced from my mom, she wont belive me that she transitioned and got srs surgery,oftem getting mad at me when i use female pronouns or reffer to herself as woman.

Its got to a point that I dont think i can tke care of her anymore and I am seriously considering plackng her in a retirement home equiped to deal with this.

Has anyone else gone through something similar?

I obviously can’t twist her arm to do something she’s uncomfortable with. I also don’t want to be accused of making someone who is mentally unable do something they didn’t want to do.

But, I see a train coming right for me with all the legalities of getting guardianship. My mom and I have always had a decent relationship. I am trying to not take it personal that she won’t spare me the massive legal headache and heartbreak coming my way when I have to jump through so many hoops to take care of her. Especially with how much of my young adult life I have already given up for her (I’m 29.) I don’t think she can comprehend how cruel it will be.

At this point I’m considering setting up a meeting with our family attorney and hopefully he will have the sway for her to understand.

What have you guys had success with?

My Mom was diagnosed in 2024 with early onset. Within the last 2 months, her cognitive score dropped from 20 to 10. Seemingly overnight, she stopped recognizing her husband of 50 years and no longer thinks she’s at home, the place she’s lived for 30 years, in her hometown.

She calls my Dad 15 times a day asking him to come pick her up. He’s tried ignoring her, lying to her, telling her he’s stuck out of town, when he’s actually just in the other room. She can’t settle and constantly gets up to go pack another bag to go “home.” She’s been on Leqembi for 18 months (first infusions, then moved to the at home shot a few months ago), and within the last 10 days she’s been prescribed Memantine and Mirtazepine. Dad stopped giving her the weekly Leqembi this week.

We had a minor breakthrough the other night where she was lucid for a little while and seemed to be speaking on the disease itself; that she’s frustrated and stuck and lost and there are two pictures in her mind that cannot connect. Then she woke up the next day and packed up all her shit again.

She’s still able to dress, shower, eat independently, do the dishes and laundry. My Dad thinks she needs to move to memory care immediately. Is that the point that we’re at? The rest of us are pulling for in home starting this week, but so far she has proved impossible to redirect.

If anyone has any tips or ideas or advice, we feel like we’ve tried everything at this point

I’m a nurse who has suspected my dad had dementia for years now. I noticed strange behaviors at my wedding, 5 years ago. He refused to go to a doctor until he and my mom sold their home in Florida and he landed in the hospital due to agitation, hallucinations/psychosis. He ultimately passed on May 1, as he ended up on a ventilator and we let him go peacefully. His autopsy confirmed that he not only had dementia he had Alzheimer’s/dementia, dementia with Lewy Bodies (hallucinations!), and vascular dementia.
I oddly find peace in the confirmation of his diagnoses. It was hard to let him go not knowing for sure he had dementia, but knowing my dad would never be who he was again, this was the most humane way he could have gone. I joined this reddit when he was initially admitted, thinking ahead to if he was discharged. Although I miss him, I’m grateful we didn’t have to walk down an even longer road with this awful disease.

My mother has trouble speaking coherent sentences after around 5:00 or so. It's not tied to actual sunlight, because as the days have gotten longer she's been sundowning earlier. I don't notice a difference if she gets up at 8am or 11am. I don't notice a difference if we have a busy day or a lazy day.

Could it be food related, linked to the dinner schedule? I know I can't defeat the sundowning but just wondering if I can tweak it at all.

My mother has alzheimer's, probably in a mild to moderate stage. We're taking a flight to see her sister in another country, it could be her last time seeing her (hopefully not but who knows). Regardless, are there travel tips. We're seated next to each other on the flight.

My mom has Alzheimers. One thing she still enjoys is when we get deliveries whether it’s from the mail carrier, UberEats/Doordash, or the grocery store.

Well there was an incident today. We had a large grocery order from Kroger come in and my mom answered the door. My hair wasn’t fixed yet, so I was happy she answered the door. She was friendly towards the delivery driver. He asked her if he could use the bathroom. I was hiding because I didn’t want anyone to see my wild uncombed hair, haha! I wanted to say no but she had already invited him in our home. I said it was ok but I really didn’t want him in our home.

When he left I began to clean the bathroom. Then my mom invited him back in and asked what our number was. I thought it had to do with the delivery. I thought maybe he needed to verify something to do with our order.

Well now he has been texting me and it seems it’s not for professional reasons but for personal reasons (i.e. asking what my mom and I like to do in our spare time.). I feel really uncomfortable about this.

Yesterday, she tried inviting a FedEx driver in but he politely declined after I told him my mom has dementia.

I think next time, even if my hair looks like a rats nest, I will be the one answering the door for deliveries.

Has anyone else had issues with a loved one with Dementia/Alzheimers letting random people in to your home? How did you deal with it?

🇺🇸Happy 4th of July everyone!🇺🇸

My dad has Alzheimer’s for the past several years and has extreme fixation. It is to the point he eat, breaths and thinks about his fixation 24/7. He bothers his friends, families and colleagues about it all day long. My dad has usually been very carefree, easy going and will give the shirt off his back for you. Recently his fixation has lead to extreme anger and lashing out. He slams things and curses. In turn, he makes me and my family out to be some immoral humans. I’ve read things about gentle redirection, music, and drives. This morning I took him on a drive and we spent the morning together. All in all, he is just a menace to be around and brings the whole room down with his aggression that he simply won’t shake. Has anyone experienced this aggression with this disease and how to move people away from the fixation potentially. It is to the point where me, my mom and brother can’t simply exist in the same room as him. It’s very lonely some as I’m freshly graduated from college and trying to build up my life. Not sure what to do or say anymore to him. I’ve lost my father. Any suggestions?

I understand that she’s more sensitive to sound (denies it of course) and gets SO quiet in the evening. Especially if she thinks the “dog is asleep”. Dog could care less, naturally. Turns TV so low , I think it’s on 0-2 on settings. She speaks/whispers and I want to hear what she has to say.
Got a pair of Audien hearing aids yesterday to see if it helps.
Anyone tried this or gone through a similar situation. Many thx and much love ❤️

We sold our house and moved in with my MIL (FIL passed away in 2022 and my husband is inheriting her house) because she didn't want to be alone in case something happened. We started noticing memory issues and other things about a year ago. She got diagnosed with Alzheimer's maybe 3 months ago now.

Well, we ended up having to get a new washing machine. We got an amazing deal on a brand new one and it works amazing. But I immediately knew I would have to find some way to put instructions on it so my MIL could work it without needing me. I have a Cricuit maker so I decided I would use removable Vinyl and attach that to it. Then I had the idea (since she is progressively getting more and more unsure of herself and checking instructions 5 times before doing anything) that I would put the instructions for what to do when the lid is up, and what to do when the lid is down to make it easier. So basically a Step 1 and Step 2. She successfully started a load of laundry all by herself yesterday without asking for any help! I got the notification on my phone that the washer was complete and I know the 16 year old didn't start it LOL.

Went to see my mom today at her new assisted living place. Immediately upon entering her room I smelled feces. In bathroom I noticed she had recently had a BM (more like diarrhea) and had not flushed so I assumed it might be that. I was also aware she had not showered In at least 3 weeks so I had her shower. Her place said they’d remind her and help her shower, but that’s not happening. Put her in fresh clothes after shower, but the poo smell lingered. I then noticed a poop stain on her comforter which I packed up with a couple other dirty clothes items to launder at my house. I noticed all the pants and some of the underwear had poop smeared all over them.

I didn’t quiz her about any this, I mean what’s the point? Do I on next visit do the poop smear search on her clothes and belongings? Is this just weird dementia stuff (bad wiping, etc) Do I alert AL staff? They do the absolute minimum there so I’m not sure much would change in terms of her care…

Hoping this was a one off due to eating something that gave her loose BM’s? Any advice from those who have seen this transition is welcome. It’s been 5 years since her ALZ diagnosis, so is this about the time incontinence would start? And let me scream this into the void I FUCKING HATE THIS DISEASE

Hello! My grandfather was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I was wondering if anyone had ideas of activities I could get my grandfather to do to try and prevent further decline?

He pretty much spends all day, every day sitting on the couch watching tv. He has no hobbies. He has no friends. He has no interests. He rarely leaves the house except for appointments and walking his dog.

His neurologist is concerned by this and has pretty much ordered him to do activities that use his brain. We’ve gotten some word search books and told him he has to do five a day and he has some puzzle books as well. We’ve told him that he has to go to the local senior center regularly so that he can socialize. He keeps saying that he has nothing in common with those people because he doesn’t have hobbies, he doesn’t like sports, he has nothing to talks about. We’ve just started all of this to it’s very tbd if he actually follows through with it. He’s also been told he needs to be out walking for at least 20 minutes a day.

What are other things I can try to get him to do? Or maybe places I could try and take him to that don’t have a ton of walking? I was thinking about brining over lunch and a jigsaw puzzle to spend some time working on it with him. Any ideas on ways to hold him accountable or make sure he does these things? I don’t live near him so I unfortunately can’t check on him as much as I’d like to.

He was my grandmother’s caregiver for about 25+ years and has been pretty lost and depressed since she passed and we don’t really know how to get him to do things and be invested in his future.

I have been on summer break for three weeks now. The daily schedule involves my mother getting up at 8:30-ish. She has a cup of tea and something to eat and then lays back down because “(Pick the day) is my day to relax.” She gets up again after 1:00. If I try to roust her before that, she yells at me for having made her get up at the crack of dawn.

I mean, I guess it’s easy. I can usually do whatever errands I have to do and not worry that she’s waiting for me. She’s certainly safe in bed. My only worry is that she will end up flipping her body clock and being up all night.

I get it. When she gave up driving, she also lost her daily routine of the gym and the senior center. Going for a walk around the neighborhood doesn’t take up much of the day. Why not just zone out? It’s just hard to watch this complete disconnection from everything.

I checked my LO into a group home back in March, so I guess my watch was technically over at that time. Today however she has passed on.

I just can't believe how quickly it all went. Back in March she was very talkative and had a great appetite. She took a fall in mid March and broke her pelvis. Was in the hospital for about a week and then spent 20 days in rehab. After rehab she was still pretty talkative. I visited a few times in April and May and always assumed she had years left in her.

Then last week I get a text from her nurse saying the oxygen is now at 75%. They put her on an O2 machine to keep it above 90%. I visited her yesterday and she was pretty out of it, but still moving around and what not.

Then today I get a call that her fingertips had turned black and blue, which is a sign that it's getting close. She passed while I was driving there. Crazy thing is that I checked my dad into his own group home yesterday. Can't believe the timing of all this.

There's a lot of sadness now, but I also know it was her time and that she would not have wanted to be living the way she was. Fortunately she did not have long periods of pain. There was no horrible suffering or dehydration. She died late stage 6, early stage 7. She never forgot about me or my dad. We visited her last week and after we left she actually told the caregiver that she was happy to see both of us.

Hi All,

My parent has Alzheimer's & will not stop messing with the thermostat. I come home to a 96 degree home more often than not. Takes FOREVER to cool, plus the expense of having to cool!!!

It's a daily obsession & nothing has distracted from this new fixation, my parent is hypersensitive about everything & there's nothing but tantrums when it comes to the thermostat. This can't keep happening, especially bc it's going to further dehydrate a senior citizen who already hates drinking water. It's a very real problem.

Can't use the security pin function as my parent is wildly determined for chaos & will 100% complain to the apartment manager for a "broken, useless thermostat" and create more problems than they already have with management. So I need a physical, lockbox with a key.

I looked online at a few models, but I'm wondering if there is a size that would fit around the circular plastic border on my Ecobee? I don't want to drill into the plastic. Or can that be replaced later if/when I move out?

Haven't come across photos on amazon of eco bees like mine.

Any help is appreciated as I don't want to be roasted alive this summer...or ever.

ps -- any tips on setting the temp are welcome. I've seen a few posts about the sensors reading cooler than it actually is. Should I account extra for the lockbox?

https://preview.redd.it/s0h38u8lqwah1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77a889d294b27f6af0cc54c72db6a87d225a6d3e

I’m curious if anyone has any advice for this particular quandary: I really want to take my mom on a mother-daughter trip, but the issue is, she’s my dad’s main care taker, and I’m care taker #2 when she needs to go shopping, meet up with loved ones, run errands, etc. My dad relies on us both, and he gets really anxious when my mom isn’t around, even for a short amount of time. I recently took a trip to Italy for a family wedding, and my mom really wanted to go (her father is from the old country). Sadly, she had to pass because she couldn’t leave my dad alone, which, understandable. The thing is, my dad doesn’t feel comfortable with anyone else around, and my mom is grieving the idea that she’ll never be able to travel with me. I’m trying to comfort her, saying “We’ll do it! We’ll find a way!” But I’m also realistic and know she’s feeling this way because it’s somewhat true. Has anyone experienced this, and if so, how did you navigate this challenge?