u/wopwopwop1234

Hi, I'm new here.

My spouse is in his fifth year as pediatric surgical staff.

He is at the end of a week on call. He is extremely tired and down in the dumps. I need some tips please on how to boost him up.

Usually I'm great at it - but this time feels different.

He has been operating all weekend, no time to spend with the kids and is feeling the summer with kids pass him by (we have a 4yo and 1.5yo). He also spent all day yesterday on a polytrauma 14 year old who jumped off a balcony... it's all so sad.

He has heard all my best pep talks before. Is there anyone else who has an early-mid career surgeon spouse who can share their best pep talks with me please?

Thank you!

I'm trying to figure out how to support my 3 year old (nearly four year old) son.

He is in daycare full time, and no-one has raised any red flags. They have mentioned he is an anxious child and has trouble with transitions and following three step direction (we see him able to follow directions at home). There are some behaviours that I'm trying my best to support him through, but I'm not successful yet. If you have any insight or advice, please send them my way.

- takes a long time to transition from one activity to another. He is in his inner world, almost distracted (not having emotions or meltdowns)

- he has been participating in community activities with me and on his own for a while. he tends to be observant before participating fully, but is mostly very happy to do the activity. Recently, if the teacher does something that surprises him, this turns him off completely and he will cry at the beginning of class. For example - his swim teacher let go of him and also dunked him and surprised him. he then refused to get in the pool for weeks. Finally got him back in the pool, but he doesn't want to do anything with the teacher. Same with skating, an instructor picked him up from behind in a playful way. the next session he cried and refused to get on the ice (eventually he got on and participated).

- he loves structure and routine and gets upset if we deviate. this is getting more intense - in his last swim class he literally could not do what the teacher was asking (jump in the pool) without doing the first activity they normally do (bobbing in the water).

- he has a hard time sleeping at night with very wiggly legs. at daycare he needs an educator rubbing his back to nap.

- chewing the collar of his jacket, swim goggles a LOT. this is new

- crossing his fingers all the time

Our pediatrician says this is all typical. I'm turning to reddit, not because I think something is "wrong" with my son, but because I see him changing and needing support/help. If there are any ideas/tools/practices that have worked for any of you - I would really love to hear it.

If you've read this far, thanks very much. All insight much appreciated.

Is it normal that I’m reading it and I think it’s awful?

My supervisors have no issue with it. But I used to think it was good, now I think it’s useless.

Is there anyone out there that felt the same? I’m wondering if this is a shared experience and it’s due to boredom and maybe just being a bit better of a researcher now than 8 (yes, 8…kids) years ago….