u/x_victoire

for the love of god don't read it if you're uncomfortable with the topic

before any ai bro mentions it, no. i won't talk to an ai, never in a thousand years. i don't need psychosis

i don't relate to anything people talk about on forums/subs. i'm not sick enough for the pro crowd but apparently pro enough to get permabanned from a meme sub. psychologist doesn't even think it's an ed. my family's used to my habits because i'm physically healthy which i am not complaining about. i have a few online friends but i don't want to accidentally trigger them. i'm gonna delete this post soon too, i just wanted to let it out for the sake of it

i don't want to talk to recovered people. i just don't want to hear anything about this topic.

i just wish there was someone i could freely talk to without them judging me. someone that relates to my experiences. i made my peace with it never happening but it gets lonely sometimes

i'm such a waste of space, no higher education, no job, just a heap of fucking mental health issues and a disability that at least gives me money once a month

the only thing i have going on rn is my ed. it's the only thing i ever "succeeded" at. and honestly it's the only thing that's standing between me and full blown alcoholism.

wish i could hit up a bookstore or a mall but i'm scared of going to the city alone, that's how fucked up i am. i'm 21 years old. it's just embarrassing

corn, green peas, chickpeas and some buttermilk. it was my first time trying chickpeas

13.5 gram of fiber !! and 282 cals.

269 kcal. iceberg lettuce cherry tomatoes low fat mozzarella roasted chicken and some salad seasoning i found in the cupboard + non pictured off brand coke zero

mom said bon appetit my little rabbit

i know i logically should be happy i haven't lost my period but the dysphoria of it all makes me wanna end my shi

225 kcal

i'm pretty sure i have no real purpose. i'm disabled mentally, i have autism and anxiety and because of lack of proper diagnosis i was falling behind severely in school and the bullying never stopped. i failed once and had to repeat a whole fucking year. during the last year it got so bad i had online individual classes. i barely graduated anyway. i even faked illness during matura exams so i could take them alone later.

i don't have a real job because i'm terrified of interacting with people. i make some money online and i'm getting disability pension for my incapacity for work, so it's not like i'm a financial burden to my family but i just feel useless. i like my life but i'm a waste of space and i know it. does that make sense

during the past five years i've reached exactly one goal i set for myself and it's sooo fucking vain it doesn't really count anyway. i don't think i will ever achieve anything meaningful and it fucks me up when i see people my age bragging about their achievements on social media

mom side eyed me hardcore for that

he doesn't remember him but i do. he was coughing all the damn time and now i see it happening again. on top of that he has asthma

i tried to talk to him, so did mom and grandma. but at this point they stopped trying because he doesn't give a fuck. sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night to go and smoke, he vapes constantly too. i know he has his own brain and the ability to refuse but i'm sure he was peer pressured into trying and got addicted

the red bull wasn't that bad but monster ultra peachy keen ftw. red bulls are either painfully mid or absolutely delicious, unfortunately this one was mid. 5/10

ngl that's even worse than unsolicited "recovery advice" sybau pleak

218 gram of żurek, 51 gram of hard-boiled egg whites, 43 gram of low-fat twaróg (white cheese): ~185 kcal

non-pictured melon yuzu sf monster: 10 kcal

usually it's an easter dish but who cares me and grandma were craving it today

i really really dislike living. i've been suicidal ever since i was ten, nothing ever helps and i really tried to get better. it's just tiring atp. but! my mom loves me very much and i can't imagine how would she feel if she found me dead, so. comfort dinner and sad music to distract myself it is

i can't even hold chopstick properly man

it happened yesterday but i'm still thinking about it. went out shopping with my grandma and an acquaintance of hers called me a "szkapa" which basically means an emaciated horse in my native language. idk how to translate it

look i know i'm skinny as fuck, i have an eating disorder. but imagine if i came up to a plus size person and called them something mean. i am proud of what i've achieved (i know it's not a great mindset. maybe it would be if i was on a regular diet but i know what's wrong with me 😊) and i won't let some bitter lady ruin it but still. so annoying

peach monster, four ginger candies and a mousse. i'd normally choose either candies or the mousse but i'm doing maintenance and i'm eating more 😁🔥

BUT! she also thought i'm my brother so at least i know i have great passing 💯

i could have it every single on god bro

1. wrong thing to say to someone with an eating disorder, not to mention completely unprompted 2. i cannot stand teenagers

he's somewhat aware of my ed but he's not worried, he's a little asshole with habits worse than mine. normally i'd be like oh wow fuck you i won't eat this now either 😒 but i'm trying to maintain my weight now and i don't want to restrict as hadcore as i used to

not gonna lie it kinda affected me. i think my neurodivergent ass is more sensitive than i like admitting

four different gingerbons and a white monster. 71 kcal total. they candies are really good for sweet cravings or so i've gaslighted myself into thinking