u/xo_britny

For context, my friend (23f) and I (34f) have known each other for 3 years now. Despite our age difference, we bonded like older sister/little sister at our job. We have been very attached for 3 years now, me giving her advice from an older person's perspective and she was really good at encouraging me during difficult times.

I'm on year 3 of fertility treatments. She has requested updates a lot while we were working at the same office. We told each other EVERYTHING. Last summer, she asked me to be in her wedding this coming fall. I said "yes" right away because we were extremely close and I was already involved with planning it.

Fast forward to April when I got a new job. We still talked a lot, mostly me texting her to see how she was doing. She knew I was going through some things with my husband so she invited to dinner, only to talk about her own personal sex life for 2 straight hours. It wasnt until we were driving back to her vehicle that she asked about my situation.

Well it has been 3 months now and I have reached out numerous times to check on her. She responds sometimes but not much. When she finally responded that she couldnt meet me for lunch after I asked her to, I told her that was ok because I wasnt at work because my dad had a medical emergency. I explained me and my estranged sister and I were finally back on speaking terms too because of my dad's incident. She simply responded "ooh, can't wait to hear all about it!". That was early June and I haven't heard from her since.

She's insisting the bridesmaids buy our dresses by the end of June, so I am getting down to the wire on making the decision to leave the wedding party or not. I feel so guilty but I am also struggling to put a lot of effort into her wedding when she has been a pretty bad friend the last few months.

She knew I was going an intense fertility treatment (medical menopause for 2 months) and she only asked how I was feeling once. I am currently in the 2 week wait to see if my latest IVF cycle worked, and I'm finding it super difficult to be excited about the wedding if I am also 5 months pregnant by that time. Since I haven't had her support for my own journey.

I also have reservations about the wedding itself. I found out this past winter that some of her family and in laws are self admitted racists. They hate black people. My husband is black and is refusing to go because he feels extremely uncomfortable so I would be traveling 2 hours alone to this wedding, POSSIBLY 5 months pregnant. My friend does not condone the racism, but also doesnt seem to see it as a huge deal either.

I would love some perspective on this. Should I tough it out and be there for her, or do I let her down now before its too late?

I've just about had it. Only 3 more days to go on a two month protocol of lupron depot, and while I'm nearing the finish line, I somehow feel like I am mentally and physically drained to 0%. I have been go-go-go through 3 years of fertility treatment, and I have hit a breaking point.

Lupron depot didnt have any effect on me until month #2, and now its like a freight train has hit my body every freaking day. I got a massage, it didnt help for more two days. I started seeing a chiropractor and the adjustments help for a few hours then I'm back to square one. My pain levels are so awful in my bones/joints/muscles that I have a constant headache. My doctor prescribed Fioricet because OTC meds weren't helping. I took it two nights ago and I still feel like absolute sh*t from that drug.

I feel like I have finally lost it. My mental fortitude is gone. I want my body back. I dont want to go through another transfer because I'm so scared of the way I will feel. My first failed transfer did me in back in January. Plus I have to make the hardest decision WHILE being in all of this pain. I have a non-informative embryo that my doctor wants to transfer at the same time that we transfer my 1 euploid. I dont know what to do.

I just need all the encouragement I can get right now. I am on Zoloft which helps, but today I am not strong 😭

I'm certain that a lot of you understand this feeling. I've been on zoloft since February and have been in a much better space mentally. But I am now on week 3 of 8 of lupron depot and my FET is only 40ish days away.

I'm 34, I've had two miscarriages, one failed FET, and no living children. Over the last couple of days I've had these sudden dark thoughts pop into my mind telling me that it just wont ever work for me. These are my last two embryos and 1 was euploid, 1 is non-informative. This is the end of the road if they dont work. I just keep having these gut punch feelings of it NEVER working. Like that deep deep knowing in my whole body that being a mom will not be in my future. I keep thinking these feelings are a sign of the worst and its seriously messing with my mind 😭😭😭