u/yeahsureexceptno

Sometimes i wonder if i ever had a genuine interest. If i ever truly had an authentic desire for something that was genuinely interesting, or if i faked it.

I could also get into other details about my identity crisis and me not comprehending who i truly am, but i think I would just feel a bit too vulnerable and it may just get embarrassing.

When i analyzed my thoughts, i get really confused and then question everything about who i identify as as an individual.

This has been something i has since young, as far back as 13. And sometimes i feel like the issue is being mitigated and i am progressing as a person, other times i feel genuinely stuck on what i can and should do.

Anyways, just seeing what you guys think.

I mean its obvious contrapoints is a liberal zionist and sorry im not informed abt abigail but why is she not as highly regarded as she used to be

I am curious about how the singapore government approaches these cases involving youth offenders in extreme circumstances. I am also curious on how the Singapore government would approach these cases if the offense occurred as a minor but the perpetrator only has a hearing as an adult

I myself am more biased becuz she held a fundraiser on her video pertaining to ms rachel for Palestinians in gaza, i feel like that was a really benevolent move on her part, but i do want to also consider if thete are any aspects of her that may be problematic even though to me she seems like a relatively cool person.

While i did initially enjoy her content, i myself am not the most comfortable with her defense of zionism and while i wish her no harassment or ill, I can’t fucking watch her anymore knowing her stance. I do appreciate she apparently did donate to palestinian charities but her take on it i perceive it to be rather liberal of her than leftist.

So now i am asking for other more left-wing content creators that have her same “dark” aesthetic and vibes.

I ask this as i do feel I have been fed right-wing propaganda about the supposedly deplorable nature of the DPRK but simultaneously i also do not know the credibility of left-wing content creators like Madeline Pendleton who may also have some bias.

While i do identify as a communist via the belief that workers can and should own the means of production, I do not know how to feel about the political state of DPRK, whether to support or defend it, or whether we do not consider it to be a star example of what communism is.

One thing is i admire the communist movement in general and i think workers owning the means of production is essential to ensure there is no exploitation of workers under the bourgeoisie and billionaires. When i see how Lenin utilised the concepts Marx discussed in his book under USSR, i truly believe it was generally a dulcet experience for many workers under Lenin.

However, when Stalin took over, he did things that were detrimental to the social state of the USSR, such as setting up a quota that if not met, means food would not be re-distributed. Essentially meaning farmers who did not produce sufficient would go hungry. He was also responsible for the famine and starvation of millions of Ukrainians as there was peasant resistance that was incipient and on the rise. Also, he re-criminalized homosexuality when Lenin de-criminalized it, which i don’t fuck with at all, (no homophobes, thank you.)

I know many of us are conversant with how Stalin was injurious to the state of USSR, but i also simultaneously see many people part of our movement defend Stalin’s approach to communism on social media. When we do this, i feel like it just diminishes the appeal of communism when what we should be doing is convincing people to support us.

For context, i was talking with my only other communist friend, i think hes an anarchocommunist, and he said he wished that all the anti-communist should just fuck off and die. I immediately realised how problematic what he said was. This is also becuz i myself has put on a “radical empathy” mindset. One example of this was when back in 2025 i decided to donate money to a cause based the in uk(i think uk), that allowed Palestinians in Gaza to get access to nutritional services and food. I had a queer friend who asked me how i felt knowing I could have fed a homophobic Palestinian. Thing was, I did not really care if i fed the most homophobic and potentially evil Palestinian or the most queer Palestinian, neither of them from my perspective deserved to starve.

Taking it a step further, I would also donate money in a hypothetical situation where my queer friend who does not have empathy for Palestinians and my communist friend who wants to starve people against leftism were starving and needed money to get access to food.

So, generally, you see the mindset i apply. And don’t get me wrong, i’m realistic. Just becuz i have empathy for all, I acknowledge there will probably be human obstacles we would have to diminish or get rid of via violence, but i dont want to do violence if i do’t have to.

Anyways, regardless of how you feel about my radical empathy, i feel like the general communist community can concur with me that we don’t want to HURT people who disagree with us, right? I think he’s generally part of the minority. Becuz i adopted the communist ideology not out of a desire to inflict damage, but out of a desire to genuinely benefit the world.

Initially, while i was anti-capitalist, i was not a fully staunch supporter of communism because the idea that everyone would be treated the same beyond having their basic necessities met(I completely agree basic necessities should be met), i thought if was necessary to have a physical incentive to do the jobs that are more physically or emo demanding, like a doctor or a janitor.

Then someone else pointed out that if benefits were to be provided, that would also mean there could be a lack of people who have their basic rights met due to resources being utilised as a form of physical incentive. That made me re-evaluate my beliefs for a while as i realised that yes, that is a plausible occurrence.

After i also found out the amount of doctors in cuba was copious and a high amount despite lack of pay, that eventually did convince me that everyone be treated the same is optimal all in all.

Am i still welcomed to the movement despite the fact that it was only the resources argument that convinced me and the evidence in cuba felt like validation for my beliefs? Should i approach this another way?

For example, both a doctor, an artist, and a barista would generally all be provided with the same benefits?

Becuz i do believe in socialism and the re-distribution of wealth and workers owning the means of production such that ALL basic needs are met. But i myself feel that not sufficient people would want to take on the roles of doctors if its all the same, regardless of how many would still be doctors out of a genuine desire to help others.

I am not necessarily saying there has to be monetary benefits, but i feel like there does have to be a higher incentive. I do have very high admiration for many of my beautifu communists leftist, its just that i do not completely concur with the idea of everyone just generally getting what they need but beyond that, there is no additional gains or benefits from doing a job that could take arduous effort other than your own internal desire to do it.

Just to be clear, though, i am NOT a capitalist and i do find radical leftism appealing as a queer, asian and anti-zionist individual.

Appreciating any comments that can address my concerns for this.

And it would be great in the comments if you could specify what the charities are for specifically. It can be global or even local charities.

Well i mean i kinda gave the whole thing in the title. Whoops.