r/askSingapore

I’m wondering where the finish line is. I’m wondering how much more I have to give before it’s enough. I’m wondering if I’m even built for this.

I’m a relatively new teacher (about 6 years in service). I love teaching and being with the kids. But the longer I’m in service, the lesser my work is about teaching. I spend more time proving I’m a good employee by running nonsense programmes and events than I do actually teaching. In fact sometimes I get off loaded from teaching so I can do these events.

It’s so bad that I have to bring my marking home. But I need my rest too. So I take my guilt-laden rest. Then my work piles up. I spend the entire term chasing after deadlines. And after being “a good employee” I get a meager performance bonus and no promotion. What am I chasing after exactly?

Don’t even get me started on leadership positions that they dangle in front of you if you have “potential”. After 3 years of the carrot dangle without any actual steps to groom me, I’m starting to think if it’s a ploy to make me work above my pay scale without any benefits in return.

When I talk to my colleagues, they tell me it’s getting worse. So where exactly is the end point? Should I stay if I truly don’t foresee it getting better?

Hi all, as mentioned in the title, my grandmother that has dementia, is staying with us and its starting to take quite a bit of toll on our lives. Context - I'm in my mid 20s, sister is in her mid 30s, and both parents are in their mid 60s. Everyone is working, except dad up until recently.

In the recent years, my grandmother's condition has worsened quite a bit. It has come to the point where my dad has to stay at home and care for her daily, despite us getting a FDW. When my mum comes back from work, she also has to actively respond to my grandma too. To be specific, my grandmother essentially requires help to do everything, and is wheelchair bound. From things like getting out of bed to the wheelchair, to eating meals, showering, urinating/defacating - all requires help. My grandma is quite heavy so some of these things are a two person job - FDW is not able to look after her alone 24/7.

I can see that my parents are getting to the age where they should really look after their own health (mum is supposedly retiring soon), and having to handle my grandma is not helping at all to say the least. Because of my grandma's dementia, she constantly screams and wails, wants to switch between getting out of bed and on the wheelchair just after staying put for a few minutes. This essentially happens the whole day.

Because of this, my mum is now suffering some sort of lower back pain after carrying her around multiple times a day. When we tell grandma that we can't keep on doing this, she wails loudly and often curses us, says things like we don't care for her, etc. The wailing also happens extremely loudly when my mum / FDW is helping her clean her bowels and showering. At night, she also wails loudly to the point where everyone in their rooms can hear it. My dad has no choice but to attend to her but most of the time we don't even know what she wants, she usually just spouts nonsense which is presumably from her hallucinations, e.g. she thinks she is going to pass on, we are not filial, etc.

Some things we have considered:

1. Sending to daycare - We did float this suggestion to my grandma but I think she's at the point where she is skeptical and doesn't want to hear us out. She thinks we are sending her to an 'old folks home' and that we don't want her anymore. It also doesn’t solve the constant wailing that prevents my parents from sleeping at night

2. Getting a caregiver alongside the current FDW - We did try this once but she screamed even more when they were both helping her around. I think it's because there's too many 'unfamiliar' faces and she is scared. From what I understand, its also not possible to have the same caregiver stay with us 24/7, or even if it was possible, it would be too expensive and we don't have space in our HDB for a FDW + caregiver.

On the off chance where my grandma can hold proper conversations, she is alright. But 80-90% of the time, her voice is just wailing which can be heard across the entire house.

We used to be able to go out as a family, but now, at the age where my parents are supposed to be retiring, are suffering because of this. We can't even go out as a family during weekends anymore. I feel that its so unfair - my other relatives (children of my grandma), are all more well-off than us, stay in landed, etc and they simply do not care enough to share the burden my dad (and mum) is going through.

I can also see that if things continue this way, my parents health will deteriorate much faster and might end up in the same fate as my grandma, to which the burden of taking care of them would end up with me and my sister. I don't know what to do.

Just a disclaimer, I go around drinking ice white. Specifically am looking for a non acidic well balanced ice white!

So far I like nylon, and apartment coffee.

Where should I try next?

Hi fellow brother and sisters.

Im in need of changing my telco (Giga!). I have been using it for a few years already, i have not experienced any issue previously.

Recently i shifted house and travelling on a purple line to work. My bar was full but nothing has been loading throughout the entire trip in purple line.

My plan is $18.33 per month, 400gb 10gb asia roaming and 6gb intl roaming. Anyone have any good recommendation which telco line to switch to that is around that range and decent networking in the train? Thank you in advance!

I’m currently in NS and am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and future career but I’m not sure what to do despite thinking about it for a long time. Fortunately or unfortunately I’m stuck in the army for another 1 year plus and have another 2 windows to apply for Uni. I already got accepted into NTU comp science but I’m really not sure whether I want to do it as a career because I suck at coding and I think competition will be tuff with all the millions of geniuses competition for like limited job openings. Idk whether I should stick to a general engineering degree or do a degree that’s related to the finance world like accounting or BA.

On the other hand, I’ve also seen people with psychology degrees landing jobs in the finance sector and I’m really not sure how they did it. Hence, I wanted to hear some opinions/advice from the working adults in Singapore.

Anyone facing unusual tiredness due to hot weather recently ?

Hi everyone,

I'm coming to Singapore for 4 months for a Research Stay and I'm starting to think about how to spend the time.

I was wondering if it is possible to go diving on weekends from Singapore on a more or less regular basis. Is it feasible?

I've read there's a lot of beautiful macro life!

Hi all, hoping to seek some answers on PT rates in gyms. Trying to get fit but am clueless on the gym equipment. I’m looking at Anytime Fitness but if there’s any other gyms you know the pricing of (and suitable for beginner females), do let me know!

TIA!

Tl;dr halfway through my degree and thinking through my next couple of moves. Currently I've been gunning towards MFA by building up my portfolio of skills over the summer. I'm mastering Arabic and Spanish and doing econometrics & data analysis courses on the side. My GPA is pretty decent too, so I reckon I have a fighting chance... but that's no guarantee, and I like to keep my options open. So, what're y'all up to?

Just curious, according to ns.gov.sg once you reach the statutory age (50 and 40) respectively, you are considered an ex-NSman.

Has anyone here MR-ed due to old age before? what's it like? I heard you wont get the bonus?

Hi, I went to visit my house that is being renovated and a neighbour told me that the neighbour beside me passed away. It’s an old couple and the husband passed away.

I am not sure of the formalities I need to do or give in a Chinese funeral and I was hoping if someone can educate me on how I can share my condolences with them. I feel especially bad because I walked past the sun today and I did not know this news.

Thank you all

I want to stay on M1 network, so I'm looking at Maxx. I've looked at Circles, it seems to be crap and I've not heard a good thing about them on this sub.

Let use Honor Magic V6 as the phone I want.

M1 200 Gb plan is 55.96. Phone is 1314.

So for 24 months total is 2657.

Maxx 300 Gb is $12. If I get the phone from Shoppee, it's 2499. So total for 24 months would be 2787.

So sim only is actually more expensive. The strange thing, though, is that sim only can be cheaper for some other phones (Oppo Find N6 and Samsung Fold 7 is cheaper for sim only). It seems to heavily tie to how much M1 is offering discount for contract.

So is the main benefit that I'm not locked into a 2 year phone upgrade cycle? And general flexibility on phone.

This is super niche topic and not sure if anyone suffering from hyper mobility in sg can advise me? Thank you!

Hi everyone,
Instead of studying for my exam next week I decided to procrastinate and ask the internet a question😂
I travelled to Singapore this year and now I think about living and working there for a while.
Right now I am a 3rd year dentistry student in Germany and wanted to ask if it is generally possible to work as a foreign trained dentist in Singapore, especially as someone from Germany.
Thank you guys! 🙏🏻😊

Personally, I don't have an issue with foreigners in F&B. These roles are difficult to fill with locals, and their service (mostly) are attentive, and professional.

Example : DTF, majority (can even say 100%) of the staff and cooks appear to be non sporeans. I've heard claims that some companies hire foreign graduates on Employment Passes (EPs) instead of S Passes, although I'm not sure how accurate that is. (how that works out financially is errr.. ykik)

Some also mentioned "Cultural Hire" which makes more sense ?

I know the obvious answer is "Their office staff is full of sporeans" but it doesn't make sense, F&B like DTF have many branches, I'm sure they busted the ratio a long time ago.

It would be great to hear from someone with firsthand experience in the industry.

For the non-religious, anything in mind on how you'd like to be 'handled' upon your passing? Funerals etc.

Hey everyone! I’ve been having a hard time finding the right pillow that will give me a restful night’s sleep. And I’ve wasted a fair bit of money buying pillows online and from physical stores only to find that they are not quite right. Is there a place where I can try out pillows before I buy? Maybe one with knowledgeable and friendly staff who can help?

I remember years ago there was one in a departmental store and the guy was very helpful. But that departmental store has since closed down, and I can’t find any other place to go pillow shopping!

Singlish is already a very efficient language, but doesn't the overuse of shortened forms of a word to save space and time cause more confusion? E.g. my parents occasionally use 'BGR' as a short form for 'boy-girl relationships' and I think it's bizarre 🤯

Hi! As the question states. Was cleaning my house and saw there are yellow spots on my cabinet faces. Toilet smells musky. Sofa that is cloth has occasional yellow spots that I clean immediately once i see it.

Already am placing thirsty hippos everywhere even before i saw these spots appearing. how does everyone combat these mould/stains that appear due to high humidity and the smells that may accompany it in the cabinet??

As a homeowner i would appreciate any tips regarding maintenance and how to remove the stains! Thanks! 🙏

Currently thinking of giving back through providing tuition classes to those in need on weekends, but unsure which organisations/communities to look into. Appreciate any guidance here, thanks!