u/yungmia697

Hey! 25M gay male here, looking for some friends. I have lived here for 3 years and would love to make some new friends. I work in insurance M-F 7-3:30 and have time after that!

I am just hoping someone we can go with the flow and hang out on our free time. My ideal friend is someone who’s open minded, accepting, and who loves to yap about everything. I am a very random person who loves to make jokes and try to be an honest person. Some things about me:

- I love going to the gym, down to try new fitness activities from running to even being a Chad and lifting
- I have 2 cats . Come meet them :)
- I love trying new food and just eating everything. My favorite food is Korean food (probably because I’m part Korean lol)
- I’ve been in recovery for a couple years; I still occasionally drink though
- When I do drink or even just go out to have fun, I like to go to Boystown
- I love exploring new places around the city and going to neighborhoods I’ve never been
- Love the parks and the outdoors (when it’s not freezing out lol)
- Like going to vintage places or thrifting
- Favorite music is female rap, some r&b, early 00’s kpop and pop, and some pop girls from now

I’m open to anyone for friends ! Message me and let’s hang out . I’m a really easy going person :)

I have made lots of posts over my time in this sub about when I relapsed and my lessons I’ve learned. After 3 years in recovery not knowing what the fuck I’m doing, I have finally decided to take a leave from work, file for short term disability , and get help. I’m 24 and I’ve felt a lot of shame and have had too much pride to go to a recover program, but this time when I used, I knew it was getting harder to stop.

I’m at a PHP specifically designed for chemsex and today was day 4. I’m feeling great as the staff have been amazing and the other people have been really nice. It’s been an adjustment going from WFH and being kind of a hermit to being in person 7 hrs a day learning about recovery. I’m really thankful for the spot I’m in and I know I got a long treatment program ahead, but I know this will be worth it.

Wishing everyone love and good luck in everyone’s recovery! ❤️‍🩹

After trying sobriety for 3 yrs this month and relapsing every 3-4 months (made it 7 months this time), I am finally deciding to get help. There’s a PHP program that specializes in Chemsex that I’m doing and they’ve been wonderful. I’m starting FMLA and taking short term disability at work (which won’t be approved until I’m already out of work) and next week is my last week at work. I don’t have much to say, but I’m just a little scared. Please send virtual hugs / any advice.

I slipped up 2 weeks ago after 7 ish months and then I used again. I forgot how powerful this shit is. I was able to talk to my friend about it and I feel better (though embarrassed).

Looking into IOP/PHP programs and have been in contact with one (has anyone tried No Matter What Recovery?). I talked to a guy from there and he told me he struggled his first 5 yrs of sobriety which kind of made me feel more normal.

This is very odd for me to do it again within 2 weeks but I’m not going to let myself return to active use. I’ve gotten too far to let myself return. Day 2 again and I haven’t fallen this far in a while, but now it’s time for me to get back up.

Please send some support as well as some virtual hugs.

Like everyone else here, claims are getting worse. Not backfilling people. I handle easy to complex CL property claims. My pending has doubled in the last couple months, I just got my 4th manager in the role (in the role for less than 2 yrs). I refuse to work OT so also waiting for my PIP lol.

What’s everyone going into after claims?

I just relapsed and I just wanted to make a post here. Idk if it’ll help anyone or make anyone feel normal about themselves, but just wanted to share my thoughts. I’m 24 , slammed heavily from 19-21, started recovery on 06/15/2023.

Something’s that help / good things for my recovery -

- Group . Online, SMART recovery, dharma, not a fan of 12 step. Going 2-5 times a week this last period of sobriety and it’s been great . Tiring sometimes, but I think this really helped me.

- Talking about it - journaling, speaking to trusted friends, group (again), even this sub :)

- Being kind to myself. Allowing myself to make mistakes, allowing myself to have feelings and feel anyway I want

- Exercise

- SMART tools . They are really helpful. I started using them when I wasn’t stressed and running through situations so I do use them when stressed.

- Opening up to close ones. This one still feels weird but having a friend listen is really helpful. Being honest with my loved ones is incredibly helpful.

- Learning to deal with urges. Mind you, this week I bought a bag of meth, threw it away, waited, and then bought another bag and used. While I ended up using, the fact that I bought a bag and threw it away shows that I am learning and doing better because I’ve never been able to do that .

Some things I can do better -

- Going to IOP or some treatment. I’ve never gone to one and I’ve see how helpful the groups were so I imagine IOP/PHP might be amazing for me. I live in a big city and I always use money as an excuse but maybe it’s time.

- Getting on apps and messaging tweakers and getting off. Been doing this for a couple months and my brain will never heal if I keep using these pathways . I need to find something to replace Grindr with.

- stopping therapy . I stopped bc my therapist broke up with me (he moved to in patient practice). It would’ve been great if I continued with therapy

- Stress management . I had a LOT of stressors and did amazing but still would like to do better

- Get off my phone. I think being on my phone/tech has not been helpful . I’ll include porn too.

- Sex because I just don’t have sex when I’m staying sober but I think I should trying to retry having sex when sober .

- stop feeding the urges. I did great for the first 5 months but then I started feeding them by fantasizing about use. When I kept feeding them for 1 1/2 months. Stop giving them attention. I don’t need to use.

- my view around love / relationships. For some reason, in my mind I sometimes think a relationship would help me stop using but also I need to learn to not use while single, for myself. No one will save me and I can’t put that on anyone else. I change between that and then thinking no one will ever love me.

—-

Ive learned that recovery isn’t linear in that fact that’s it doesn’t seem like you just stop using and stay abstinent forever. Sometimes it looks like my uses getting less frequent and the periods of use don’t last as long or aren’t as intense.

I’ve tracked my sobriety data:

Sobriety
06/15/2023 - 10/08/2023 , 115 days sober
10/18/2023 - 10/27/2023, 9 days sober
11/21/2023 - 01/18/2024, 58 days sober
01/21/2024 - 04/21/2024, 91 days sober
04/23/2024 - 08/01/2024, 100 days sober
08/04/2024 - 01/13/2025, 162 days sober
01/15/2025 - 03/29/2025, 73 days sober
03/31/2025 - 08/12/2025, 133 days sober
08/15/2025 - 10/30/2025 , 76 days sober
11/02/2025 - 05/21/2026, 202 days sober
05/23/2026 - Now

Using
10/09/2023 - 10/18/2023, 9 days using
10/27/2023 - 11/21/2023, 25 days using
01/19/2024 - 01/23/2024 , 5 days using
04/21/2024 - 04/23/2024, 3 days using
08/01/2024 - 08/03/2024, 3 days using
01/19/2025 - 01/20/2025 - 2 day using
03/29/2025 - 03/30/2025 - 2 days using
08/13/2025 - 08/14/2025 - 2 days using
10/31/2025 - 11/01/2025 - 2 day using
05/22/2026 1 day using

34 days of using in second half of 2023
11 days of use in 2024
8 days of use in 2025
1 days of use in 2026

—-

Anyways, that’s all. Debriefing always helps me and hopefully this can help put recovery in perspective. I’m not perfect (clearly) but I’m so thankful to be alive. So happy that I am back in recovery and that I am learning!

Thanks for reading! :)