u/zachm182

I’m a 28 y/o male, plenty of experience, but I still haven’t overcome this issue. Physically I’m in shape, I’m a mechanic and go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I do cardio and lift weights. I stopped watching porn years ago, and I don’t do anything that’s considered sexually unhealthy. I’ve had multiple partners, and sometimes this issue isn’t a problem, I’ve had a couple spur of the moment encounters where I didn’t think about it and I lasted quite a long time, but I’ve been seeing a new girl recently who’s been wonderful in every regard. We moved bases slow, but once it came time to go all the way I was extremely nervous and finished almost instantly. Afterwards I just felt worse and worse about it and the next few times were the same way. After that I started to make some progress, the past 3 times we had sex I was able to use the “start stop” method and after a few times my anxiety faded and I was able to go for awhile with no issues. However now I feel as if I have to live up to that every time like I set a standard for myself and I feel more pressured if that makes sense. Any time she mentions sex I immediately get anxious about it and worry I won’t be able to live up to the last few times we did it, and it feels terrible, but it’s like I can’t help it. I do have an anxiety disorder, so this is the culprit as physically I know I can do it, I just get in my head and I’m sick of feeling anxious about sex instead of being excited. Any advice is appreciated, I feel like I’m torturing myself trying to figure this out. Until now it’s never really bothered me much because I haven’t been in an actual healthy relationship before.

I’m a 28 y/o male, plenty of experience, but I still haven’t overcome this issue. Physically I’m in shape, I’m a mechanic and go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I do cardio and lift weights. I stopped watching porn years ago, and I don’t do anything that’s considered sexually unhealthy. I’ve had multiple partners, and sometimes this issue isn’t a problem, I’ve had a couple spur of the moment encounters where I didn’t think about it and I lasted quite a long time, but I’ve been seeing a new girl recently who’s been wonderful in every regard. We moved bases slow, but once it came time to go all the way I was extremely nervous and finished almost instantly. Afterwards I just felt worse and worse about it and the next few times were the same way. After that I started to make some progress, the past 3 times we had sex I was able to use the “start stop” method and after a few times my anxiety faded and I was able to go for awhile with no issues. However now I feel as if I have to live up to that every time like I set a standard for myself and I feel more pressured if that makes sense. Any time she mentions sex I immediately get anxious about it and worry I won’t be able to live up to the last few times we did it, and it feels terrible, but it’s like I can’t help it. I do have an anxiety disorder, so this is the culprit as physically I know I can do it, I just get in my head and I’m sick of feeling anxious about sex instead of being excited. Any advice is appreciated, I feel like I’m torturing myself trying to figure this out.

What I’ve been doing is edging while I masturbate 2-3 times a week for about 20-30 minutes, and I don’t cum at the end. Is this correct? I’ve read people say doing it this way and not cumming will make PE worse next time I have sex.

It’s more so I’m afraid to have sex because of performance anxiety and PE. I’ve always had this sort of anxiety around sex, and I’m not inexperienced by any means, but I’ve never cared this much because I haven’t been in an actual healthy relationship until now. I’ve been seeing someone for a couple months that I’m really falling for, our relationship is very healthy. The first couple times we slept together I finished extremely quickly because I was so nervous, and lately I’ve been working on doing reverse kegels and edging to help even though my issue is most likely 95% my anxiety, but the last few times we slept together I was able to use the “start stop” technique and after a few times stopping when I got close my nerves went away and I was able to last around 40 minutes which felt great for my confidence, but I still feel afraid/avoidant to have sex because I don’t want to embarrass myself again with her. Any time she brings it up I start feeling extremely anxious and I’m tired of it, I really want to overcome this so I can actually enjoy it. Any help is appreciated :)

I recently began edging a couple weeks ago while I masturbate to help with premature ejaculation, I was just wondering if I’m on a streak for a few days without ejaculating should I ejaculate once and end the streak before having sex? Typically I’ll edge while I masturbate for around 20 minutes and then go about my day without ejaculating, usually I’ll do this for 2-3 days and then when I get together with my girlfriend I’ll cum. But I read keeping the streak and then having sex will make you cum faster because you haven’t ejaculated in days

I feel I’ve always had this issue in some way shape or form, probably mostly anxiety related. I have plenty of experience, and sometimes this issue is very prevalent, other times not. I’ve been dating someone for almost two months now who I’m very into, everything I’ve ever wanted. The first few times we had sex I came more or less immediately and I’ve been working to figure this out because this is someone I actually want to perform for, and she was cool about it, however she did express she’d like me to figure this out because she wants actual sex to go longer. I still make sure to pleasure her with toys or foreplay even if I finish quick, so she’s still satisfied in a way, but this is something I’m really stressing over. I talked to my doctor recently and he prescribed me some tadalafil to take daily, I don’t have ED but it helps me stay hard if I start feeling anxious, and that’s actually helped. I also started edging a couple times a week recently as well, and it seems to be showing some results, the past 3 times we had sex I was able to use the “start stop” method, and whenever I got close (literally right at the beginning, sometimes even during foreplay) I stopped, took a breath, and resumed, and even after doing this I still felt close very fast, but after doing it 3-4 times I was able to get going and lasted close to an hour each time, so I feel I’m making progress in a way, and I’m trying to stay consistent as she seems happy, however this morning we were just messing around and I came from just rubbing myself against her before any penetration, and any confidence I was building feels shattered lol. I’m trying to figure out how I can last longer at the beginning without having to edge 4 times to get somewhere. I also don’t want to feel scared to have sex at the risk I’ll come before anything even happens, even more so after I actually have a good session and go an hour, it makes me even more scared to mess up. I’m considering paroxetine at this point, but I’m really not sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated!

Wondering what would be good from people with experience taking meds for this issue. I’m also trying to edge a few times a week for 20 minutes or so at a time as well. I’ve been able to use the start stop technique during sex, at the beginning I feel like I could finish almost immediately, but if I stop and resume a few times once I get close I’ve lasted close to an hour afterwards. But it’s still annoying every time I feel like I have to do this or I’ll bust immediately. I’m considering a low dose of an SSRI so I don’t start out ready to blow my load in 30 seconds.

I recently went from an 11’ Camaro to an 18 Si. The Camaro was fully stock including the sound system, and it was the base trim, so it wasn’t anything special, but the sound system sounded fantastic compared to the sound system in the car & it’s kind of boggling my mind. I’ve messed around with the settings, but I can’t seem to find anything consistent. It’s like certain songs with a lot of bass sound okay, but other songs sound horrible. Anyone have suggestions as far as where the bass/mid/treble should be for the best sound?

I’ve always had this issue to some extent in some way shape or form, mostly being with a new partner for the first time. Sometimes it’s very prevalent, other times it’s not. I haven’t worried or thought too much into it until now because I’ve never had an actual healthy relationship. I haven’t been sexually active in a year or so, but I recently began seeing a new partner whom I’m very interested in & our relationship is very healthy thus far. We slept together for the first time recently and it was okay, I was very nervous at first but was able to calm myself down and was able to last an okay amount of time after stopping when I got close & resuming. She seemed understanding, but after we slept together the next couple times I finished more or less immediately & it was super embarrassing. I actually care about this girl & how I perform, so I’ve been really hard on myself over it. Again she was understanding though & I told her it’s because she’s very pretty & I felt nervous/excited, but we talked the day after & she expressed she’d like me to try figuring out why I finish so quickly because she wants to go longer. I completely understand where she’s coming from & I agree, I’d like to figure it out as well, but I feel like most of it is mental blockage/overthinking & her telling me she wants me to figure it out makes me feel way more pressured than I already was initially. A lot of it feels me being in my head, even when we just kiss & the thought of it going further crosses my brain I can physically feel my stomach shift as if I’m afraid of it, but what I’m really afraid of is embarrassing myself again. Sometimes during foreplay I get super close without any penetration yet, so then I feel like there’s no point as I’ll just cum as soon as I go in, and then I start to overthink, get turned off & lose my erection. It’s like a vicious cycle. What would be the best way to figure this out? Any help would be appreciated, I feel genuinely stuck and I don’t know what to do. I’ve read about numbing sprays and things of the sort, but I feel like if we’re in the moment and I have to stop to do something like that I’ll lose my erection too.

I’ve always had this issue to some extent in some way shape or form, mostly being with a new partner for the first time. Sometimes it’s very prevalent, other times it’s not. I haven’t worried or thought too much into it until now because I’ve never had an actual healthy relationship. I haven’t been sexually active in a year or so, but I recently began seeing a new partner whom I’m very interested in & our relationship is very healthy thus far. We slept together for the first time recently and it was okay, I was very nervous at first but was able to calm myself down and was able to last an okay amount of time after taking a couple breaks when I got close & resuming. She seemed understanding, but after we slept together the second time I finished more or less immediately & it was super embarrassing. I actually care about this girl & how I perform, so I’ve been really hard on myself over it. Again she was understanding though & I told her it’s because she’s very pretty & I felt nervous/excited, but we talked the day after & she expressed she’d like me to try figuring out why I finish so quickly because she wants to go longer. I completely understand where she’s coming from & I agree, I’d like to figure it out as well, but I feel like most of it is mental blockage/overthinking & her telling me she wants me to figure it out makes me feel way more pressured than I already was initially. A lot of it is me being in my head, even when we just kiss & the thought of it going further crosses my brain I can physically feel my stomach shift as if I’m afraid of it, but what I’m really afraid of is embarrassing myself again. What would be the best way to figure this out? Any help would be appreciated, I feel stuck.

For context I’ve dated a lot of shitty people, I’ve always had a knack for it. It’s not that I’m inexperienced in any sense, but I always get anxious when sleeping with someone new for the first time, and my last ex said a lot of awful things to me that made me even more self conscious about sex and they always run through my brain in the moment along with my normal anxious thoughts about performance etc and kill my drive or make me finish in half a second because I’m so anxious/nervous. I recently met a girl that’s been absolutely wonderful in every sense, and we’ve been dating for about a month, just taking things slow. We haven’t gotten as far as sleeping together yet, but I’ve been almost dreading it because I feel like inevitably I’m going to be stuck in my head about it and end up embarrassing myself, and it’s an awful feeling. We’ve moved a few bases and my heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest because I was in my head and couldn’t get myself out of that anxious funk. I want to be able to be excited about it, not scared. Any advice would be appreciated :)