u/zkuggrec

I have a review tomorrow after being discharged from an inpatient unit but I’ve been purging pretty much 5-6 times a day since then. They will be taking my bloods and my potassium will definitely be low

If I drink 4 dioralytes before the appointment over the course of tonight, is there any chance my potassium will be somewhat in the normal range? Please help I don’t want to be sectioned lol

Edit: also I know this is really bad, I just can’t stop

TW: AN, BN, suicidal ideation, sh, drug use

So I have been struggling for a long time with this, I’m 20 now and I’ve had ed thoughts since around 8.
It began with pure restriction but as we all know, that almost always spirals into some kind of purging
Purging started at around 14 and now it is out of control, and has been since about 17
I was admitted inpatient last year when I was 18-19 and weight restored but never actually recovered

I am in my second year of university (chemistry) struggling severely with depression and about to fail exams which start in 20 days
I’ve not been able to get out of bed for about a week and I use non prescribed benzos and z drugs to knock myself out because I can’t bear to be conscious, and the few hours I am conscious I’ve binging and purging a countless number of times (I am not exaggerating, every waking moment is either preparing for a binge or purging). I have lost about >!9kg!< since discharge and my brain is so ruined from medication and this disorder that I cannot even focus on reading a single page of my textbook to prepare for exams. I did badly last year because I was taking leave from hospital to do my exams and barely passed which only puts pressure on me to do well this time round.
I also have a summer project in a research lab which I signed up for last year but had to bail because I was sent to hospital, and I can’t bear the shame of the possibility of having to bail AGAIN, especially because being in the lab is my happy place.

I am so so ashamed and angry at myself because of what ive become. I had so much potential, so much i couldve done but i wasted it. I wasted my life, my parents’ lives, money, resources, time, only for my only desire to be for it all to end.

Anyways if there’s anything to learn from this, please don’t even dip a toe into this disorder because it will drag you under.

Posted to en other ed space too but felt it fit better here

TW: AN, BN, suicidal ideation, sh, drug use

So I have been struggling for a long time with this, I’m 20 now and I’ve had ed thoughts since around 8.
It began with pure restriction but as we all know, that almost always spirals into some kind of purging
Purging started at around 14 and now it is out of control, and has been since about 17
I was admitted inpatient last year when I was 18-19 and weight restored but never actually recovered

I am in my second year of university (chemistry) struggling severely with depression and about to fail exams which start in 20 days
I’ve not been able to get out of bed for about a week and I use non prescribed benzos and z drugs to knock myself out because I can’t bear to be conscious, and the few hours I am conscious I’ve binging and purging a countless number of times (I am not exaggerating, every waking moment is either preparing for a binge or purging). I have lost about 9kg since discharge and my brain is so ruined from medication and this disorder that I cannot even focus on reading a single page of my textbook to prepare for exams. I did badly last year because I was taking leave from hospital to do my exams and barely passed which only puts pressure on me to do well this time round.
I also have a summer project in a research lab which I signed up for last year but had to bail because I was sent to hospital, and I can’t bear the shame of the possibility of having to bail AGAIN, especially because being in the lab is my happy place.

I am so so ashamed and angry at myself because of what ive become. I had so much potential, so much i couldve done but i wasted it. I wasted my life, my parents’ lives, money, resources, time, only for my only desire to be for it all to end.

Anyways if there’s anything to learn from this, please don’t even dip a toe into this disorder because it will drag you under.

TW: AN, BN, suicidal ideation, sh, drug use

So I have been struggling for a long time with this, I’m 20 now and I’ve had ed thoughts since around 8.
It began with pure restriction but as we all know, that almost always spirals into some kind of purging
Purging started at around 14 and now it is out of control, and has been since about 17
I was admitted inpatient last year when I was 18-19 and weight restored but never actually recovered

I am in my second year of university (chemistry) struggling severely with depression and about to fail exams which start in 20 days
I’ve not been able to get out of bed for about a week and I use non prescribed benzos and z drugs to knock myself out because I can’t bear to be conscious, and the few hours I am conscious I’ve binging and purging a countless number of times (I am not exaggerating, every waking moment is either preparing for a binge or purging). I have lost about >!9kg!< since discharge and my brain is so ruined from medication and this disorder that I cannot even focus on reading a single page of my textbook to prepare for exams. I did badly last year because I was taking leave from hospital to do my exams and barely passed which only puts pressure on me to do well this time round.
I also have a summer project in a research lab which I signed up for last year but had to bail because I was sent to hospital, and I can’t bear the shame of the possibility of having to bail AGAIN, especially because being in the lab is my happy place.

I am so so ashamed and angry at myself because of what ive become. I had so much potential, so much i couldve done but i wasted it. I wasted my life, my parents’ lives, money, resources, time, only for my only desire to be for it all to end.

Anyways if there’s anything to learn from this, please don’t even dip a toe into this disorder because it will drag you under.