r/AmericaBad

aMerIca iS cOokEd

My Canadian in-laws' idea of America vs. the America they actually experienced

My Canadian in-laws from Montreal recently visited us in the U.S. What struck me wasn't that they criticized America—we all criticize our own countries—but how different their mental image was from the America they encountered.

They seemed to assume that Americans are broadly obese, Muslims are widely persecuted, religious minorities must be cautious about practicing openly, and cities outside a few major metropolitan areas are culturally homogeneous.

Then, at DC's Tidal Basin, they saw a Muslim man praying while his family had a picnic. They were surprised again by seeing Black American Muslims, people wearing hijabs, kufis, and shalwar-kameez, and learning that the White House has hosted Ramadan iftars.

At one point, they worried people would stare when they entered a store wearing shalwar-kameez and a headscarf.

I told them, “I guarantee you nobody will care. You'll probably see someone dressed exactly like you.”

The people getting out of the car next to us were dressed almost exactly that way. 😂

We had a similar experience in Toledo, Ohio—a smaller Midwestern city that doesn't fit most outsiders' image of a diverse American place. My in-laws were surprised by the casual friendliness of strangers, the size and diversity of the Muslim and immigrant populations, and the range of international food.

They were especially struck by churches and mosques existing practically side by side. They had expected American religious life to be more segregated, but instead saw something ordinary: a church here, a mosque down the road, a synagogue somewhere else, and people of different faiths sharing stores and restaurants.

Their reaction made me realize that educated, well-traveled people (my in laws have graduate degrees and professionals doing research work in a university)can still have simplistic ideas about places they haven't experienced. They weren't stupid or malicious; they simply hadn't encountered much of the America they had opinions about.

That is probably true everywhere. A person in rural Ohio can caricature Montreal, a Montrealer can caricature Ohio, an American can caricature Muslims, and a Canadian can caricature American Muslims. Then you visit and discover that everyday life is more complicated—and usually more ordinary—than the stereotype.

America has serious problems, as does Canada. But the same people we sometimes criticize for being ignorant about the world can be just as uninformed about us.

Sometimes you don't need another political argument. You just need to visit the place.

Why do people hate on Americans specifically for our tipping culture, completely ignoring that tipping is also a thing in Canada and Mexico, yet nobody says anything about them? Like make it make sense.