r/AnxiousAttachment

I will talk to a therapist because I’m not sure, maybe both? But here’s a bit of what I’ve written down:

I've always had a problem with relationships, maybe it's my autism, maybe not, who knows? But I've always been too "intense" and called crazy or yandere. I'm only 15 years old. I need to discuss with a professional, but here are some things I wrote.

"I'm gonna get professional help and find out what's wrong. It'll be hard though since I have autism and I'm a teen and I heard they don't diagnose autistic teens but a person who hates me said that so IDK if I can accept his comments as fact or not, we used to be friends until he started hurting me and being rude.

Anyway, IDK what it could be but I do have problems. If you come here to damage my self-esteem, please don't, but you can share your experiences. I already acknowledge I'm a bad person.

I do respect her boundaries, but I also feel like I can't form a connection with her. She says we're friends, but people have said she wants nothing to do with me and that she's "just being nice", especially since she's an art account who doesn't want to look bad for her fans or whatever. IDK how true that is, but she never knows what to say when I talk to her, but then again she wants me to make art for her, so that means she doesn't hate me, right?

I feel like a disgusting creep like I've been called my whole life by people for being too intense and clingy. I'm insanely obsessive, no joke. And at first, I felt rejected and decided I wouldn't talk to her, but I've calmed down and I'm too attached to cut contact entirely. She said I could message her but not every day and that she'd tell me if she didn't wanna talk.
I know it's not her fault, probably not mine, maybe it is, so why do I feel so bad?? Or maybe, why DID I since I'm better now? We're friends regardless, right? She didn't just outright ghost me and call me names."

“Prone to obsession

Prone to attachment

Self-aware, lucid, doesn’t jump to conclusions when not attached to said person. Would be suspected to be “normal” or without any disorder.

Intense attachment and fixations on people

Non-crystallized sense of self

Derealization at times or “shifting” into my favorite character

All-or-nothing attachment

I can see you as a normal person one day, and the next you’re everything to me.

I stay online anxiously waiting for your text, I can flip my lid if rejected and go to thinking “they hate me!!! And they want me to SUFFER!!!” Attachment is source of stress and can cause anger but also happiness. I will find reasons to not like you or think you’re mean even if I like you at the same time.

Impulsive and indulgent, won’t pull away from something or someone that makes me happy.

Doesn’t self-harm but thinks about it when having intense emotions (used to impulsively hit/punch arms or head but then got on medication and seems to maybe be calmer but symptoms/signs are still there)” (therapy notes)

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

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