Hello, so I’ve been into girls as long as I can remember. But I’ve never acted on it and I want to but idk how to go about it because I also am a femme girlie who likes other femme girls. I have a crush on my co worker but like idk I tell her she’s pretty but feel like shes taking it as a bestie type way and doesn’t know I like girls 😭😭😭
Hi everyone! I’m new to Reddit. I downloaded the app because I wanted to meet more femme lesbians and learn more about the community and the conversations around it.
I’m 21, and I was wondering: does anyone else have a hard time dating other femmes? I feel like femme4femme is so difficult, especially because I’d really like to date another lesbian.
Is it just me? 😭
Hi everyone! And sorry if this question isn't quite what this room is for. I'm still fairly new to Reddit, so please forgive me if I'm committing some kind of Reddit crime. 😂
I'm 34, but apparently my personality didn't get the memo. I'm very young spirited, and people often assume I'm in my 20s when they first talk to me. I tend to get along really easily with younger people, and I've noticed that I seem to attract them quite often too because they said felt fun, the sense of humour, safe, cared, etc. Sometimes even people who are obviously way too young for me, which is very much a “NOPE, absolutely not” situation.
What I'm actually hoping to find is someone a little more mature and stable, someone who can be silly, spontaneous, and have fun with me, but who can also communicate properly, handle serious conversations, and genuinely knows what she wants.
I'm a soft masc myself, and I've found it surprisingly difficult to meet femme women who are looking for something genuinely serious. I'm not talking about finding anyone. I'm more interested in the kind of connection where both people actually want to build something together, communicate, put in effort, and eventually become each other's “home.”
So I'm curious: what usually makes you attracted to another woman, especially a soft masc?
Is it personality? Confidence? Emotional maturity? The way someone approaches you? The little things? Or is attraction simply witchcraft and I'm looking for a user manual? 😂
I'd genuinely love to hear your experiences, advice, or even lessons you've learned from past relationships.
What makes you notice a soft masc and think, “Hmm… I'd actually like to get to know her”?
I'm asking because I'd genuinely like to understand and maybe learn something. Not because I expect there to be some magical formula for attracting femmes. 😂 But if there is a secret handbook, I'd appreciate a copy!
Disclaimer: I'm asking for your experiences with this topic. I'm not asking for nobody online to solve my whole life.
The label of masc vs femme vs stem isn't really the issue. I'm just using those words so i can communicate. even before i knew of all these labels i still felt this way. if a woman is how I want to be i.e more feminine, prettier, curvier I'm concerned insecurity may be masking my sexual attraction to her. I'm also wondering if having a woman that's too similar to me means there would no spark even without any potential insecurity. Yeah just wondering if anyone else had worked through these feelings
I'm femme and I've always been drawn visually to feminine women. Their body, smile, hair, outfits, jewelry, graceful movements, smooth soft skin, perfume etc. I do feel attraction but I'm wondering what type of attraction. Is it aesthetic, is it a desire to be like her or is it sexual attraction? A mixture of all 3? Is it because there was a lack of masculine woman representation for me growing up, so all I had was feminine women?
I remember having a crush on my maths teacher as a kid. She was really pretty, tall, feminine and curvy. She was kind and I remember feeling really warm and fuzzy when she looked at me and being almost addicted to making her smile & having her attention on me. I remember admiring her body alot but looking back, I feel it lacked sexual energy.
I like the energy & dynamic with masculine women, particularly dominant, protective, caring masculine women. I find that dynamic more intense sexually and I find there's a spark more. They have traits I like and don't have. Femininity sometimes feels too similar to me. But I visually prefer more feminine women. I just like the biceps of masculine women that work out and I like masculine style just not too masculine. With masc women they tend to wear baggy clothes so I can't see their body shape so their hotness, so to speak, gets hidden for me.
I'm basically trying to figure out what my type is and whether my feelings towards feminine women are I want to be her, I want to be with her or both.
I'm also trying to figure out if I only want masculine women because it makes me feel more feminine, prettier like we're not competing to be pretty in the same way (I find masculine women pretty but it's different to feminine pretty).
Do I like them because I feel like I'm fulfilling what society wants from me? I've always struggled with my body & personality not feeling feminine enough because I'm not that curvy (I have a inverted triangle body shape). Would getting with a curvy feminine goddess make me too insecure? Is that why I lack sexual energy with them even though I'm visually drawn to them?
I'm just trying to figure this all out so I can make authentic decisions not driven by insecurity or suppressed emotions. Is my type a stemme? A combination of these traits? idk. Do y'all have any experience or advice regarding this?
Title says it all. I’m always being told I look so straight ect. I have piercings tattoos dyed red hair but I guess I’m too femme?? Anyone have any advice on how to look more gay lol
There is this super cute butch that works in the lab I work at. I started last year and have had a massive crush on her since. We both want the same things in the future, no kids, pets, fun, spontaneity etc. So that makes my crush even worse! LOL! The issue is… I’m very “straight-looking” AND my vibes are also “straight vibes” 😭 (according to multiple different friends). I have no idea how to even hint to her that I like girls :(
Everyone in the lab automatically assumes I’m straight and when love is brought up I’m asked about any guys in my life. I’ve hinted to one coworker that I’d rather have a wife/gf but I just feel weird bringing it up? It seems random… and just saying “actually I like girls” to their questions makes me feel weird? I worry that if I say I like women then maybe I’ll make her uncomfortable.
I asked her to hangout but by the time I worked up the courage to ask she had to leave for a few months before returning. I’ve been waiting for her to ask me this time?
I don’t even know if she views me that way at all. She’s also the first butch I’ve had a massive crush on so I’m worried about making her uncomfortable. I’d love, love, love similar stories (PLEASE GIVE ME HOPE LOL) and advice. Otherwise, I shall be scrolling through the butchlesbians subreddit to learn more.
Thank you guys so much. This subreddit has made me feel so seen.
I wish it was more widely known just how completely difficult it is to be a lesbian. This is just my experience and I’m sure many have it differently but I am just SO fucking lonely, I am 17 and have never been in a relationship. I’ve tried trying to message girls that I like and I’ve tried dating apps even though I’m not legally old enough to be on there and still nothing ever goes anywhere. All my friends are straight and have boyfriends and barely hang out with me anymore and I’m SO sad. I literally feel like I don’t have anyone in the world. I’m fem4fem exclusively which makes it so much harder for me because I don’t look gay and the girls that I’m attracted to don’t look gay so they don’t know and I don’t know. It doesn’t help that I grew up incredibly shy due to the way I was treated as a kid and still am so shy it’s honestly embarrassing.
Not to mention the troubles of trying to accept myself, I still feel uncomfortable telling people I think because I was outed to both my friends and family when I was very young. I think I’d have a much easier time accepting myself if I didn’t feel like being a lesbian was a sentence to loneliness, which so far it has been for me. I’m just constantly worried for my future and If I’m ever gonna get to have my firsts. I just feel so isolated, I don’t have one person I could talk to about the way I’ve been feeling lately and that makes me disgustingly sad. I just need a fucking hug and someone I can pour my heart out to and be comforted by. I feel like I’m running out of time to be loved. The fact I’m having to write something like this on here feels like such a low. None of my friends would ever have to do anything like this it’s sad.
26F I don't know if this is the appropriate sub for this but I'm wondering if I'm a lesbian I come from a homophobic country, people can't even suspect that you are gay here heterosexuality is the default.
So my first experiences were with women however as I grew up I had a few relationships with men cus you know... even if I liked a woman I'd be scared to do anything about it. But when I think about it I did like them but not as much as I like women I feel like I liked them because I was lonely. Never liked sex with men I barely even came however sex with women is so exhilarating. I also don't really get attracted to male celebrities but I can look at female celebrities a thousand times without getting tired.
I came upon a bisexual subreddit and I was so appalled by what's often referred to as a bi cycle as I've never felt the need to leave my female partner for a man.
As I reflect on it I can't imagine being a man's wife but I'd definitely be a woman's wife. I also don't like men that much I get irritated when they text or like me these past few years. But I don't know if I'm a misandrist or if I'm just gay. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do i definitely know.
Hi, I'm wondering how people have been able to overcome feeling like they're not "worthy" of femininity? I am a femme, but I struggle to define what being feminine means to me. I grew up and am still fat, and therefore never felt "pretty" enough to be feminine. I haven't allowed myself to indulge in things typically considered "girly", like makeup, for example. I've really been working on bettering my mindset with the topic; I'm only 20, so plenty of time to grow! Just curious if anyone experienced similar feelings, and if so, how did you overcome them?
I see things from the perspective of how/if/when to tell someone about things like that from the perspective of the survivor.
But, if it was someone you were dating, would you want to know?
When would you feel it would be the right time to be told something like that and how would you even want to be told?
Would it put you off dating someone?
Sorry, maybe it's a weird question, but I'm grappling with whether or not to tell a girl (we've been seeing eachother for just over 2 months)
I'm interested especially from perspectives of people who have or are dating someone who experienced DV in their past.
​
Femme here looking for advice. My gf has some baggage around sex from a previous unhealthy relationship, so we're taking things slowly. I'm naturally pretty sexual and affectionate, but I don't want to pressure her or make sex feel like an obligation.
One complication is that she has literally told me she is attracted to "toxicity" , arguments, tension, intense dynamic. I'm actually growing out of that kind of behavior myself and don't want to become toxic just to create sexual chemistry, but I do want to learn how to bring more intensity, teasing, tension, and passion into the relationship in a healthy way.
For femmes who've been in a similar situation: how did you build sexual chemistry and intensity while keeping it safe, consensual, and emotionally healthy? What made you feel desired without feeling pressured?
Im not asking for abstract here, like what do I actually do?
Edit: so i spoke to her about it today , at lenght. I asked her to define this "toxicity" that she's into and she said "i like to chase" and I asked if it meant things like games where I have to make her jealous and it turned out that no, she just meant being mildly bratty. I asked if she meant actual toxicity and made sure she knows that i am not like that and she reassured me she only meant light stuff, like teasing and being mischievous with each other. Thank you for the input. I didnt answer the comments but I read them and they helped me open up to her about it so thank you again
Looking for active 25+ members who actually want to chat, game and make friends. 💕
🎮 Fortnite, Valorant & party games
🎙️ Frequent VCs
🎬 Movie nights
💬 Active chats & lots of banter
🪪 Simple ID verification - just to guarantee you meet the age criteria.
🚫 No men or straight women
Come hang out, play some games and meet your fellow gays.
Get in, loser. 💅
Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll pass you the link!
I need honest opinions because I honestly don't know if I'm overthinking this anymore. Remember the post about the My partner has a best friend. They actually had a relationship back in high school, but my partner says she doesn't really count her as an ex because they were very young and it was never anything serious. They eventually just became best friends and have stayed close ever since.
The problem is, it feels like this best friend is way too invested in my life. She checks my social media, and somehow my mistakes or things I post end up being talked about with their teammates. It honestly feels like she's looking for reasons to make me look bad.
Whenever my partner spends time with her, I notice a change. It's like she comes home seeing me differently, almost as if someone's been pointing out all my flaws while they're together.
Whenever we're all in the same room, I also feel like she goes out of her way to show that she knows my partner better than I do. It's subtle, but it makes me feel like she's trying to remind me that she's always going to have a special place in my partner's life.
I even found an old voice recording on an old phone from one of her exes crying and blaming her for interfering in their relationship. I know that's only one person's side, so I'm not treating it as proof, but it did make me wonder if this has happened before.
So I'm genuinely asking am I just being insecure? Is this best friend crossing boundaries? Or is the real issue that my partner isn't setting enough boundaries with someone she has history with?