r/FemmeLesbians

I want a girl friend virtual

Ive only been with more masculine presenting women but during all my relationships ive wondered what it would be like being in a relationship with a femme. Im femme4all and i am interested in all lesbians but ive always had a preference for femmes. Feminine women always catch my eye in public and when i go to cafes or outside and i see really feminine women who are probably straight journaling or scribbling on their ipad i think to myseld wow theyre so beautiful and i wish i had a femme girlfriend who i can be femme with and be really girly and lesbo. I imagine being in a femme4femme relationship is really fun and i hope i get to experience it. I wanna hear your experiences as well!

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For girls who don't currently have friends but do have a partner: how did you meet? I’m not looking for a specific answer; I’m simply interested in reading about your experiences and learning about the different paths that led to your relationships.

Anyone down to chat?

am i the only one yearning for my future butch lover? so bad, my chest aches when i see lovely butchfemme couples and read writings by older lesbians telling stories from their "young dyke" days and i really really want my butch sweetheart to be in my life already

i have sm more to get off my chest but i'll save that for my journal lolz i just need to know i’m not alone 😁🙏🏽

A few years ago, I shared a house with another woman who behaved strangely towards me, as if she hated me but at the same time felt attracted to me. I would drop hints to her, like we'd be good together, but she would get uncomfortable and distance herself. However, when I distanced myself from her, she would come looking for me to talk. I noticed she was also jealous of me when she saw me with a guy she was seeing or talking about other women. Besides that, I noticed a tension/nervousness on her part when I was closer, or a gleam in her eyes when she looked at me while we talked. I sometimes felt a flirtatious vibe between us, but I always thought it was just my imagination because she insisted she was straight and even made homophobic comments that irritated me. It could even be that she liked feeling desired by a bisexual or lesbian woman, and that fed her ego. So I decided to distance myself as much as possible, only speaking to her when absolutely necessary. Since we lived with other people, we could minimize our interaction, which is what I did, especially because I started to like her, and whenever that happens with a straight woman, I distance myself.

But she wouldn't leave my mind, and when we were already living in different houses, I mustered up the courage and sent her a message saying that I liked her and that I thought she felt the same way about me. She called me ridiculous, crazy, rude, said I bothered her, and even said that we were never friends and that she didn't want me in her life. I didn't understand why she was reacting like that, but I had already noticed a certain anger on her part towards me (maybe for trying to be friends with her, I think, or out of pure homophobia). Anyway, the more I tried to talk to her, the worse the situation got… I haven't seen her since, but sometimes I still think about her.

okay, i feel a bit nervous posting about this, but i feel like these are such individual experiences, i just don't see anyone talking about this anywhere! so here goes...

for context, i'm autistic and an adult. i have a really hard time making friends and maintaining these friendships, because i don't feel comfortable around just anyone, and it seems that every single time i meet a girl and vibe with her the friendship ends up falling off after a while...

a few years ago, i was friends with this girl, and she used to be super nice to me, we would go out regularly, she complimented me... but over time she started getting snappy and would say mean things seemingly out of nowhere. for example, one time she told me i was completely different irl because i used a lot of filters on my photos.

later on, i entered a relationship and it was then that she admitted to having feelings for me. i think she did so at that time because it was safer, if i rejected her it would be because i was with someone else... and not because there was something wrong with her. two years later, that relationship ended and she went back to acting strange. she was there for me when i was sobbing like a baby. one night she told me to listen to a song and the lyrics were something along the lines of "i would treat you better". maybe she was trying to hint at something but i'm totally clueless! that same night we went out and i wore a new dress and she told me she hated it... LMAO

eventually i cut ties with her because i was fed up with her strange behavior. we were texting at one point trying to make plans and she said it was best to reschedule because she could only handle things which were lighthearted and fun, and i was sad. that was my last straw.

more recently, i cut ties with another friend. to me she was a close friend, i felt super comfortable around her, and we used to chat a lot too. over time she starting texting me less and less and we wouldn't hang out anymore, our plans always seemed to fall off. i started seeing someone from another city at the time of our friendship and one time i went to visit this girl and shared my location with my friend for safety. honestly she seemed like she was super supportive? i didn't think she could have feelings for me. but after that i feel like she became so callous to the point where i texted her saying one of my pets had passed and she didn't even bother replying until almost two days later... it was such a superficial response too. something "sorry girl i didn't even know what to say" "pet deaths are a difficult subject for me" which really irritated me and i just couldn't stay friends with her after that.

honestly i feel so pathetic even considering someone could be romantically interested in me, because i'm very insecure, but i also feel like it's a possibility. and i wonder if the sudden callousness and snappiness could be a result of a perceived rejection.

i thought both of these women were super pretty and we vibed a lot and i understand being scared of rejection but i probably would have given it a go if i knew they were interested.

idk you guys... has this happened to anybody else like i need some guidance and perspective here.

I haven't been interested in the apps since my last relationship ended but it's rough out here and I could use some hope.

Im a lesbian trying to find my style like i’m not feminine, but I’m not masculine and I don’t wanna be feminine but I also don’t wanna be masculine and I’m just confused on what I am because whenever I’m masculine, I’m overly masculine and then when I’m feminine it just feels overly feminine and I don’t know what to do and this is so difficult because when I’m too masculine, I feel like no lesbian is attracted to that but then when I’m too feminine, I’m like uncomfortable in a way

I’m so fed up of online dating and would like to know what I can do to start getting comfortable flirting and being more out there, especially when I’m mostly attracted to femme women like myself?

So I wanted to share my thoughts about being in a lesbian spaces, coming out as a lesbian, meeting other lesbians. Initially, when I came out I expected the lesbian community to be this welcoming place for I got to be free. However, I feel like ever since coming out I've never felt more unhappy. I feel like the lesbian community has more rigidity than any space and I've been in and I dated men before and there was some things I felt was more allowed that wasn't allowed when I joined a lesbian space. For example I felt like when I was with men, there was more space to desire femininity. But being with women that same femininity was deemed as heteronormative, discouraged, and even dismissed as not being real, lacking tension and chemistry, etc.

This has really taken a toll on my sexuality and I feel like I almost have to conform to queer standards especially regarding attraction just to be taken seriously as a lesbian person. And I'm unsure where I fall on the scale of feminine person to masculine person. I've always felt more masculine however externally I feel like my features would place me more in the femme category. And I feel like with that presentation, because of how I look, then I'm forced to be with someone to "balance" me out such as a masculine presenting person. That has not only taken a toll my sexuality, but my attraction to femininity, my confidence in myself and my ability to navigate relationships with women. For example I felt more free and more confident when I wasn't in a lesbian space.

I've also struggle to make friends with other lesbian women. I feel like especially as a late bloomer lesbian, I just feel very disconnected like we don't get each other and that they're not always welcoming. I guess to sum this all up, I think I just felt as if I was sold a fantasy of what the lesbian community was going to be like only to encounter rigid heteronormative (masc/femme rigidity) rules about representation and who is seen as authentically lesbian, femmephobia, surprisingly misogyny and internalized homophobia that is not being acknowledged.

Anyone else have had similar experience? I just feel let down..

As a fem lesbian, one of the biggest plot twists of my life is realizing that finding another fem who likes fems feels like looking for a specific leaf in an entire forest. 😭

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It's been years since I seriously flirted or talked to another woman. Not because I don't want to, but because... where are y'all hiding? Every pretty girl I see automatically gets categorized into either "probably straight," "already taken," or "I don't have the courage to find out." HAHAHA.

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And when I finally do get the chance to talk to a woman I find attractive? Biglang nawawala lahat ng vocabulary ko. I go from "I can carry a conversation" to "haha... oo nga... 😃👍." My confidence logs out without warning.

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People think femmes have it easy because we "blend in," but honestly, that's part of the struggle. We rarely know who's actually into women, let alone another fem who's into fems. So most of the time, it's just silent admiration, unnecessary delusions, and me wondering if we're making eye contact... or if she's just looking behind me.

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At this point, finding a fem4fem connection feels less like dating and more like hunting for a shiny Pokémon with a 0.001% spawn rate. 😭

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Happy pride!! luvyall!!🏳️‍🌈🫶

do any of you feel like they are both femme4butch and femme4femme?
like i feel like i cant just choose one and im so unbelievably attracted to both of them, it makes me feel selfish but thats like asking me to choose between a boquet of flowers and a box of chocolates when you would love both of them
i would like your inputs on this tysm

Researchers at James Cook University are seeking participants for an anonymous online study examining attraction, dating preferences, and partner evaluation.

As part of the study, you will view a series of fictional dating profiles and answer questions about attraction and relationship preferences. The findings will contribute to a better understanding of how people evaluate potential romantic partners.

To participate, you must be 18 years of age or older and identify as heterosexual, gay, or lesbian. The survey takes approximately 10–15 minutes to complete and is completely anonymous and voluntary.

We recognise the diversity of the LGBTQIA+ community. While the current study is limited to heterosexual, gay, and lesbian participants, it forms part of a broader research program that has included, and will continue to include, people of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities.

This study forms part of a Doctor of Philosophy research project at James Cook University and has been approved by the Human Research Ethics Committee at James Cook University (HREC Approval No. 25H-0225).

For more information, please contact Kaitlyn Gregory at kaitlyn.gregory@my.jcu.edu.au.

Survey link: https://jcu.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3KSKL7xTGKco61g

So I had a great date with a beautiful woman the other day. She made us reservations at a fancy Italian restaurant, we talked the entire time until closing about our shared interests and then I treated her to ice cream afterwards. We brought each other flowers. We had a kiss at the end of the date and then talked later about how we liked it and she thanked me for asking her first.

with women, I’m very shy to make the first move( – I think that this stems from trauma from men, but that’s probably irrelevant to this anyways.)

we are having our second date on Monday night, and we are going to cook and craft together- at my place!!!. I suppose I’d like advice on knowing how to flirt and do the appropriate amount of physical touch, because I’m just so used to other people initiating. I also want to know how I can make it romantic? I know the obvious things like mood, lighting, music and stuff but I could just really use some advice on all of this in general <3.

Sincerely, a beginner femme lesbian

UPDATE: Apparently, our first date was her first date with a woman. She texted me today saying that she wasn't ready to date. Maybe my nerves were trying to tell me something, but I'm sure there's someone out there for me somewhere :)

Sono sempre stata la single del gruppo e la cosa mi è sempre andata bene.

Ma da un po’ di tempo a questa parte mi sento sola e non perché io non abbia amici, ma perché mi manca qualcuno con cui condividere la parte romantica della mia vita.

Voglio solo essere amata e amare qualcuno…

What are yours?