r/India_Parenting

Is it normal to give separate room to our baby if he is super light sleeper, our baby girl wakes up from the slightest noise

When and how did you transition?

Every parent is a new parent, where do one get knowledge about how to raise a child. Is there any one way of doing it or is everyone using whatever knowledge they have of being raised from their own childhood and adulthood?

I'm an engineer exploring starting a small kids clothing brand in India. Not selling anything — genuinely trying to understand what parents actually want before building anything. Two questions:

What frustrates you most about buying clothes for your kids?

And what do you wish existed that you can't find anywhere?

Is it safe for the baby to sleep in his own room with baby monitor and a nanny?

I'm a new dad ...we hired a nanny to help with the baby and my wife after our parents went back

My wife sleep in the baby room cause she wants the nanny to help whole night when baby wakes up and I can't sleep there cause ...nanny will be uncomfortable..

Now our baby is a very light sleeper and my wife gave to go to washroom every now and then ..she have a habit of blabbering in sleep and that startles out baby and makes him cranky

This went on for first 4 months ...after that the baby started sleeping for 4-5 hours in one go .. during these 4-5 hours my wife would come and sleep in my room and me and she would watch the monitor every few minutes and if the baby wakes up or needs her she will go to the babies room immediately

But for those 4-5 hours the baby was just with the monitor and nanny

Now our baby is 11 months old and sleeps 7-8 yours on most days ... those days my wife comes and sleep with me cause she feels even whispering wakes the baby up ans he is cranky due to teething

My wife's reasons also include the fact that baby sleeps at 8 pm and me and she may wanna talk or watch something or she wants some me time and sleep at 10 pm ....so when the baby sleeps she watched the monitor every few minutes or i watch it too ..she checks on the baby a few times

But she sleeps in our room while the baby sleeps in his crib with monitor and nanny for emergency

This is also cause my wife gave resumed work (from home) and I work long hours as well....

But recently I have started feeling of its bad that she and i sleep in separate room and the baby sleeps in separate room

However my wife says she wants to sleep train and provide routine and structure to the baby and herself...cause baby wakes up on the slightest noise....and if we co sleep she and me won't be able to go to work and baby will not sleep properly cause she will always talk in sleep and use washroom frequently....

She is also going through pelvic issues and throat issues which means she goes to washroom often and throat clearing noise in sleep happens

She feels if baby co sleeps we can't even talk to each other after 8 pm and it's just hard ....

However during the day she takes care of the baby usually whole day and plays and feeds him

However she is not breastfeeding cause she can't get milk anymore which is fine

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Please do read full

Me and my wife recently had a child ....we are married for 5 years

Now I disagree with almost everything she does

She wants a separate room for our baby and monitoring and i believe babies should sleep with their parents only for 3-5 years ....i don't feel okay with her idea ......

She set up a small room for our baby cause she always wanted to...she sleeps there with the baby and one japa maid to take care of her and the baby

The baby is now 10 months old,

When she was freshly post partum she had some muscle issues and other complications...the baby would hardly sleep 2 hours. ...in those 2 hours if my wife went to washroom or coughed the baby will wake up immediately and get startled

Due to this she would come out of the baby room and come to my room when the baby falls asleep and she would go back to baby when the baby wakes up ...she and me would continuously watch the baby tho through the screen and also the japa maid would call my wife immediately if the baby is awake and she would go

Then this went on for months ... when the baby started sleeping 5-6 hours at around 6 months old my wife will leave him with the japa maid in that room and come sleep with me ...and wake up frequently to watch him through the screen

She stated that the reason is that her coughing and throat clearing and habit of speaking in sleep and frequent visits to washroom immediately wakes up our baby and she doesn't want that

I started getting a feeling that she is being selfish cause she is just watching the baby and expecting the maid to look after him at night while she sleeps in our room

she said she wants time space and couple time with me as well and she doesn't wanna walk on egg shells whole night cause our baby wakes up even if she sighs

I started feeling whatever she does is just selfish as most mothers stay with their kids at night

How can she leave the kid in a room for 4-5 hours and sleep ...I ended up confronting her

She told me that she did that for better sleep of the baby ...she is also worried and she also constantly keeps watching the baby and messaging the japa nanny about the baby at night....she does this soley because her noise wakes the kid and the kid is sleeping better now

She started crying and said she can't just stare at the kid while he sleeping and skip washroom and even coughing and she can't just skip meals and shower and self care and be with baby 24 by 7 ...

I regret coming across that way ...but my feelings did not change ...i keep thinking that parents should sleep with the baby only

I told her to bring the kid to our room ...she said fine then I'll go to another room ....she feels even smallest movements wake our baby up

Then she started telling me why baby with own room sleep much better and we are continuously monitoring anyways and have a nanny for emergency anyways

Now since then she started sleeping in some different room than me and the baby ...and now she feels I hate her presence in our room ...and she have not slept with me since then ...

How do fix this ? I still feel baby should sleep with their parents and my wife feels baby should have their own room and monitoring....

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Me and her have planned to have a kid in frst year of marriage due to age factor....or start trying...

She have put forward a strict non negotiable that she will get pregnant and go through childbirth only when i ensure that she will have a very proper recovery....i agree with her but her demands around recovery sound unrealistic to me

She said she can look after the baby all the time but needs a live in nanny for 6 months to help with the baby ...she will take career break tho

She literally said she doesn't wanna wake up alone every night and hamper her recovery and want a nanny for full night duty so that she can sleep better if not full night but atleast sleep better

She wants the nanny to do the night time diaper changes and prepare milk (she cannot breastfeed for some other health issue) ..

I feel she is being unrealistic and missing out on attachment with the baby ....but she is adamant that for first 6 months nanny will do majority night durty so she gets better sleep

I cannot understand who leaves the baby with nanny at night just for sleep

Yes i have posted before about parenting friction with her ...this ain't karma post I'm genuinely seeking advice

Just wanna know if separate rooms with monitoring are good and safe for babies around 1 year old ?

Would like to know experiences with this

My wife to be told me we will live in Nuclear set up and i agree with it totally

She said she will compromise on working days and hours with ...she goes to work 4 days a week Max 6-7 hours including commute

She said post kid she will take a few months break, but when she join back due wants kid to be at a good childcare centre like day care with CCTV or a nanny with cameras

I am worried about safety and other issues

She said she won't be ready to move in with either set of parents for kids ..she doesn't want my parents or her parents to handle the kids at all ..

Her opinion is that she will loose privacy when she needs it the most and she wants a nuclear set-up only untill any of our parents need us genuinely due to health or something.

She said day care or nanny is her only option...she won't leave the kid daily with parents cause they spoil the kids with diet and care that she doesn't want..

While I am of opinion that Grandparents are better

If anyone have experienced this ? Can you gimme advises?

I failed in class 8th, and honestly, that was only the beginning of my story.

My father’s business made us move cities when I was in class 7th. I had grown up in South India, and even though I am North Indian, I had always lived in the South. When I shifted to a North Indian city, I landed in a below-average school because no good school would admit me in the middle of the year. I was bullied a lot, even made fun of for my Hindi. It became so traumatic that after class 8th, I had to change schools and repeat the year because of bad grades.

I was always an average student. Not great with marks, but very curious. I loved science since childhood, but that never really reflected in my grades. In class 10th, when most students around me were scoring above 90%, I got 64%. My parents were upset, obviously, but my grandparents were just happy that I had passed, and they even celebrated it.

No school wanted to give me science with those marks. But my parents fought for me, and my principal also fought for me because he had seen my genuine interest in science and my participation in science exhibitions, where I had even helped the school win an award. Somehow, I got science.

But science after 10th was a completely different world. I got overwhelmed. My interest in music was also growing, and mentally I was not in a good place. I failed in class 11th. Everyone started pointing fingers at my parents, saying they made the wrong decision. Relatives who had already doubted me now felt proven right.

Even then, my parents supported me. They were disappointed, but they did not abandon me. They sent me to Kota to repeat 11th and 12th with JEE preparation. There I got introduced to freedom, movies, music, and also some genuinely brilliant students who cared more about learning than just scoring. But I failed again, this time in 12th. That felt world-shattering.

Somehow, I got admission again in class 12th and finally passed with 75%. For the world, maybe that was average. For me, it was a huge achievement.

Then I joined a basic engineering college. By then, my love for music, drumming, and movies had grown a lot. I was confused between science, music, and filmmaking. I failed again in 2nd year. Around the same time, my father faced losses in business, and because of shame and pressure, I decided to drop out of engineering.

Today, I run a successful business and earn well. I also somehow managed to join the IIT Madras online degree program because somewhere inside me, that unfinished chapter still mattered.

Later in life, I got diagnosed with ADHD. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense why I struggled, why I could not study like others, why I was curious but inconsistent, why I was never “lazy” in the way people thought.

My parents were strict, yes. But they also changed with time. I genuinely feel the movie Taare Zameen Par changed something in them when I was around class 7th. They started seeing me differently. They supported me at every failure, even when society, relatives, and the education system made them feel like they had failed as parents.

So when people talk about Indian parenting, I feel it is not always black and white. Some parents are strict, flawed, scared, and under social pressure. But some of them still love deeply, learn slowly, and stand by their child even when the whole world is questioning them.

I really love my parents for that.