r/IndianExMuslimSpace
r/muslim marraige is an absolute nightmare and so avoidable its sad
I happened to come across this horrendous subreddit, Muslim Marraige, where loveless incompatible couples wonder how to keep 'alive' the institution of marraige as ordained by Allah. The tragedy is that most of their problems could have been completely avoidable if they went through a normal upbringing and a normal relationship before tying the knot.
Most of these people have no idea what they are getting into. Its just 'trying to avoid zina/sin' and 'fulfilling the sunnah' bla bla. There seems to be no understanding of love languages, compatibility, conflict management, value heirarchy, or the hundred different factors that make a relationship worth it. They havent touched another person and are expected to do the deed on the night of the marraige with essentially, a stranger having grown up in a conservative family where thinking about sex makes one guilty.
No wonder half the posts are women who 'don't feel attracted to their newly-wed husbands'. I kid you not, so many say 'they thought they would start feeling attraction after marraige' like its a switch. Also, too many are getting married too early imo. There are a few odd posts where they are very happy and I m genuinely happy for them because they got incredibly lucky.
There are posts where they are questioning where the 'additional rizq' as promised by Allah is after marriage and how they are struggling even more (duh).
Then there are troubles with in-laws, way too many questions about the legality of divorce and not enough on how to mend the relationship.
As a fellow human it just makes me sad and angry what lengths people go through to destroy their lifes with their self imposed rules and beliefs
u/capricious3-14 — 6 days ago
A Muslim man says there’s no benefit for women to open their eyes as they’re considered a source of “temptation”
That’s the reality you will end up with once you allow Muslims to share their opinions too much
u/Electronic-Ship4007 — 7 days ago
If fear of Jahannam is your only moral compass, that says a lot.
u/Secret-Job-6420 — 5 days ago
Perbedaan ketiga jenis Muslim (simplified)
Walaupun jelas nggak berlaku untuk semua orang atau semua kasus, menurutku pola seperti ini cukup sering terjadi. Gambar di atas cuma simplifikasi untuk menunjukkan bagaimana tiga tipe Muslim, yaitu mantan Muslim, Muslim fundamentalis, dan Muslim liberal/moderat, merespons ke ajaran atau praktik yang kontroversial, yang diwakili oleh variabel X. Jadi, ini bukan kategori yang benar-benar baku, cuma cara sederhana untuk menggambarkan fenomena yang lebih umum.
Contoh simpel: kepercayaan bahwa manusia semuanya berasal dari Adam dan Hawa, dan bahwa Adam dan Hawa tidak dilahirkan, melainkan langsung diciptakan oleh Tuhan. Ini bertentangan dengan teori evolusi.
Kalau kamu tanya Muslim fundamentalis atau konservatif, mereka akan setuju bahwa Islam menolak teori evolusi. Menurutku, di sini mereka lebih benar. Kalau kita melihat konsensus Islam dan pandangan ulama-ulama terdahulu, pandangan yang paling kuat adalah bahwa Adam dan Hawa memang tidak dilahirkan, alias pandangan yang bertentangan dengan teori evolusi modern. Namun, apakah mereka menerima teori evolusi sebagai kenyataan? Jawabannya: tidak.
Kalau kamu tanya Muslim "moderat" atau liberal, jawabannya justru kebalikannya. Mereka menerima bahwa teori evolusi adalah kenyataan dan didukung oleh bukti-bukti. Di sisi ini, bagus bahwa mereka menerima sains modern. Tapi mereka melakukan reinterpretasi terhadap Islam agar Islam bisa sejalan dengan sains modern, walaupun pemahaman atau interpretasi mereka malah bisa jadi menyimpang atau kontradiktif dengan apa yang sebenarnya dikatakan oleh Islam.
Aku suka bilang ini:
>"Interpretasi yang benar bukan ditentukan oleh mana yang paling moral, mana yang paling sesuai dengan sains, atau mana yang paling masuk akal. Interpretasi yang benar ditentukan oleh mana yang paling sesuai dengan dalil dan didukung oleh para ahlinya, seperti empat imam mazhab, misalnya."
Nah dari sini tau kan bedanya antara "Islam teaches X" dengan "X is bad/false"?
Ini sebenernya berkaitan dengan post ku yang ini:
https://www.reddit.com/r/IndoExMuslim/comments/1vgzga5/kritik_pola_pikir_sebagian_muslim_12_pernyataan/
dimana aku bilang:
>Menurutku salah-satu alasan kenapa banyak Muslim yang jadi menyimpang, liberal, sugarcoating Islam, salah paham, ya intinya ga sejalan dengan interpretasi yang akurat lah, itu karena mereka gabisa membedakan atau mencampur-adukkan kedua pertanyaan ini:
>1. "Apakah Islam mengajarkan X?"
2. "Apakah X itu benar/moral/sesuai dengan realitas?"
>Itu kedua pertanyaan yang berbeda, lengkapnya nanti ku bahas di bagian 2.
(Ini bukan bagian 2, suatu saat akan ku bikin)
u/Low_Pianist_2067 — 8 days ago
Saudi Arabia slave market 1964
Saudi Arabia slave market 1964 (Saudi authorities officially banned slavery in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia in 1962 but it still widely practiced as shown in the video)
u/Safe-Mine-8499 — 7 days ago
How a muslim think we leave islam vs how we actually leave islam
u/Safe-Mine-8499 — 9 days ago
This was one of the reasons i left islam everything is prohibited and haram for a woman in islam
u/Safe-Mine-8499 — 13 days ago
22M Muslim-background atheist looking for genuine connections - where do I find people like me?
I've been sick of being ghosted all the time.
So I am a 22M software developer from Mumbai or you can say Navi Mumbai I have been doing a remote job in an Indian Small Company and since the company is small I don't have many colleges to talk to. Most of the time I work alone.
So due to this I've been suffering from loneliness so hard that I've started hating it. Like I feel this is bullshit but still I'm feeling this. People have done such great things only being alone but here I am crying over my feelings.
So I try to meet people online because I don't have any social circle outside. Most of them ghosted.
I am a Muslim but more than that I am an Atheist and people I found around myself they just started religious preaching. I hate those things. For me it's very hard to find like-minded people in my surroundings.
If there is any girl with the same kind of beliefs, I would love to talk to you. I have never met any girl who has that type of beliefs from a Muslim background.
Most of the girls ghosted me because they don't see a future in me and they are also right. They just save their and my time but still it hurts.
Please share your thoughts guys. Where can I find these people to make a long-term bond?
u/standLike_DogBalls — 11 days ago