r/LavenderMarriageIndia

I’m a 37-year-old software engineer from a decent, traditional Indian family. I earn well (well-settled in Pune with a stable, high-paying tech career) and my parents are now seriously pushing for marriage — shaadi.com, family rishtas, aunties with biodatas, the whole works. But I’m not looking for a conventional arranged marriage.
I want something deeper, more honest, and beautifully unconventional.

I’ve been cheated on in past relationships for long durations, and over time I’ve realised I’m genuinely okay with my partner having other romantic and physical partners. I mean I know that I am not great looking so I will get cheated upon, and rather than be lied to I would prefer if things were honest and loving. And my future wife would tell me about her affairs honestly and feel comfortable showing affection to others in front of me

I’m drawn to a confident, modern woman who is open and honest about her feelings and relationships instead of hiding them.
**How I imagine our story:**
We connect through a rishta or directly here. You share openly about the important people already in your life. I listen with understanding and feel warmth instead of anger. Before we take the big step of marriage, you want me to truly know and accept your world. So you invite me to meet one of your partners in a casual setting, allowing me to see how comfortable and connected you are.
I want us to build a real, loving marriage full of care, respect, companionship, and romance. I’ll be your official husband in front of family and society. We’ll attend family functions, celebrate festivals, and create a beautiful home together. At the same time, I fully support and celebrate your complete self — including the meaningful connections you already have.

It’s about trust, acceptance, honesty, and a modern Indian marriage where both of us can be our true selves without hiding.
Some things I’d love to explore with you:

After marriage, how do you see us balancing time between each other and your other connections?

Would you want children with me, or possibly with your other partners as well?

Do your partners know you’re looking for marriage? How would you introduce me to them?

Are you emotionally in love with any of them, or is it a beautiful mix of love and passion?

Will you still go on trips or occasional stays with them after marriage?

How do you imagine our daily married life — romantic dates with me, family life, and your other relationships running parallel?

If you’re an affectionate, honest, and emotionally mature woman who wants a loving, understanding husband who truly accepts you as you are, please message me. Let’s talk, connect, and see if we can build a beautiful, unconventional love story together.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and feelings 💕

Ok so this is my first post and I guess my last option for living a healthy life without intense family pressure and manipulation.

I'm 30, 5.6", Indian, Gay-Ace, Atheist (Hindu origin), virgin and infertile. My family doesn't know about infertility and forcing too much to arrange marriage and give them grandchildren.

I look athletic, above average looks if it matters to show your family. I worked my whole life to manage family business and am now working on my skills to get into the analyst field.

I tried living in other states within India but still faced the family pressure, emotional manipulation and it's affecting my mental health. I don't want to get married here because my family can easily travel and live with me to continue the pressure and manipulation.

I'm looking for someone who identifies as a woman and is looking for a marriage for convenience, friends, and support in life. Just be friends or housemates, and live life with full freedom.

I'm looking for someone from the US, UK, Canada and we can talk about mutual needs, logistics and other details in private.

I wouldn't have thought of this option if my family understood me and not put pressure, emotionally manipulate and make me feel guilty. Once I'm out of here they won't be able to reach me here but only talk on the phone.

As I'm Indian so you will have to sign the sponsorship but don't worry about the finances and cost of it. After marriage either we will split the expenses or I'll take care of the big expenses like rent and utilities (we can talk about this). I'll be your best friend at home with all support.

I'm a very simple person who minds own business and always help others whenever I can.

​

Hi everyone,

I am a straight woman, 32. My family is pushing for an arranged marriage ASAP, but im in a committed relationship with someone, can’t disclose the boyfriend to family, and don’t want to lead anyone on or ruin someone else’s life in the process.

I am looking for a lavender marriage with a gay man who’s in a similar situation and wants privacy, autonomy, and a peaceful life while maintaining their own identities and relationships separately.

A few details:

I am is educated, independent, and mature about what this arrangement means.

Preferably looking for someone who’s a software engineer or in a stable tech job (preference).

Location, caste, etc., aren’t deal-breakers as long as the understanding and expectations match.

The goal is mutual support, family peace, personal freedom, and zero drama.

If you’re someone considering a lavender setup or know someone who is, feel free to DM to talk privately.

Hello all,

I am 31F Who is bisexual and believes in Non monogamy.

Looking for a lavender marriage.

However I am well educated, have a job that pays me okay. Looking for someone on the same page as me.

I'm 32M, working in a reputed government job in Mumbai. I've been in the arranged marriage process for over 2 years and have been talking to a girl for the last 4.5 months.

We met in Jaipur and spent 3 full days together (around 12 hours each day). We connected really well, became extremely comfortable, and developed genuine feelings. When I'm with her, I feel she's the right person. But when we're apart, I start overthinking and doubting everything.

Some positives:

• We both don't want kids.
• Our families have met and genuinely like each other.
• I was initially insecure because her family is much more educated than mine (father is a doctor, mother a retired professor, sister settled in the US), but after meeting them I found them humble and down to earth.
• She's very understanding and knows about my self-esteem issues, past depression, fear of marriage, career insecurities, and lack of relationship experience.

My concerns:

• She had a 3-year relationship with a toxic guy. After she ended it, he and his relatives harassed her through repeated calls and even came to her house with a marriage proposal. Because of this, she and her parents stayed with her sister in the US from May to September 2025 (around 4 months). She says she has completely moved on, and I don't have any reason to doubt her honesty.
• She experimented with cigarettes and marijuana in college and now drinks socially on occasion. I don't like drinking although I have tried this under peer pressure and ideally wanted a partner who doesn't either. She has agreed not to bring alcohol home but doesn't want to promise she'll never drink socially because she feels that would be an unfair compromise.
• Our financial philosophies are different. I'm a heavy investor aiming for FIRE and prefer a simple lifestyle. She enjoys spending more on experiences. She says she won't interfere with my investments but doesn't want to adjust her lifestyle to match mine. She also earns significantly less than I do.

The biggest issue happened during the engagement process. She initially wanted to take baby steps, but after our families met, her family came prepared for a roka. I wasn't mentally ready, but my sister, brother-in-law and relatives convinced me, and I said yes under pressure. That same night, I realized I wasn't ready and told her I needed more time. She was understandably hurt, and things have become complicated.

I genuinely like her, and most of my earlier concerns (family background, parents, children, etc.) have been resolved. But these remaining issues and my habit of overthinking are making me doubt myself.

My questions:

1. Do these sound like genuine compatibility issues or normal pre-marriage anxiety?
2. Am I making occasional social drinking and financial differences bigger issues than they actually are?
3. Does it sound like I'm looking for 100% certainty before marriage?
4. If you were in my place, would you continue with this relationship or walk away?

I'm looking for honest and unbiased opinions, especially from people who have gone through arranged marriage.

Hi everyone, I am a North-East Indian ( the seven sisters state ) currently looking for a lavender marriage with someone based outside of India, as I am looking to relocate abroad.
I have been an introvert my whole life and deeply value a quiet, drama-free lifestyle. Having grown up in a conservative, close-knit society, I am seeking the personal freedom that comes with living abroad.
I am highly family-oriented and will always respect my partner's family, as well as their personal freedom and independence. If you are looking for a quiet, respectful, and lifelong partnership based on mutual understanding, please DM me so we can discuss the details."

Hi, since I am submissive and I don't want to give any one bad experience in marriage I am looking for lavender marriage of flr.. if it is lavender I can easily find women outside marriage..

I’m not looking for a rushed arrangement. If I were to pursue something like this, I would want a long period of getting to know each other, discussing expectations honestly, and making sure we are genuinely compatible as friends and partners in this type of arrangement.

Some things that are important to me:

• I do not want children.
• Education and career are very important to me.
• Mutual respect, trust, and honesty.
• Personal freedom and independence for both people.
• No expectation of a traditional romantic relationship.
• I am comfortable with both people having their own personal lives and relationships outside the marriage, provided everything is discussed openly and respectfully.
• Discretion and privacy are extremely important.
• I would be especially interested in connecting with someone living outside my country or someone who hopes to build a life abroad in the future.

I am specifically seeking a Muslim man who is genuinely interested in a lavender marriage and has thoughtfully considered the responsibilities and challenges involved. Preference would be given to a Hyderabadi Muslim man who is settled abroad or plans to build a life overseas in the future.

I’m not looking for a quick solution. I’m hoping to connect with someone who has genuinely thought through the realities, responsibilities, and challenges of a lavender marriage.

If any of this resonates with you, feel free to reach out and tell me a little about yourself, your situation, and what you’re looking for.

Hi, I’m a 30-year-old male, part of the LGBTQ community. I’m Hindu and vegetarian (not that it really matters). I’m well educated with two master’s degrees and come from a well-to-do buisness family. Based in Hyderabad, I prefer a calm and simple lifestyle.

I’m looking for someone decent, educated, and understanding—someone open to a practical arrangement and who can be more like a friend and housemate. The goal is to build a peaceful, respectful life together without unnecessary complications.

If you’re looking for a lavender marriage or a marriage of convenience, feel free to reach out here or on Telegram: @Sidduakhi.

Hello everyone. I am a 27-year-old man from Rajasthan, Doctor by profession currently pursuing my residency in Psychiatry and living in Jaipur. I come from an upper-middle-class family with progressive values and believe that mutual respect, honesty, understanding, and personal freedom are the foundations of any successful relationship.

I am a gay man and am looking for a woman who may be interested in a lavender marriage arrangement. Ideally, I would like to connect with someone who understands the unique social and family pressures that many individuals face and is seeking a practical, respectful, and mutually beneficial partnership. A medical professional, particularly a doctor, would be preferred because of the shared understanding of professional commitments and lifestyle, although I am open to speaking with anyone whose expectations align with mine.

My vision is to build a partnership based on trust, friendship, emotional support, clear communication, and healthy boundaries. I believe both individuals should have the freedom to live authentically while maintaining mutual respect and fulfilling agreed-upon responsibilities. Compatibility in values, long-term goals, and expectations is more important to me than societal appearances.

If you are in a similar situation or believe this arrangement might suit your life goals, I would be happy to connect, have an open conversation, and see whether our expectations align. Thank you for reading, and I wish everyone the best in finding the path that brings them peace and happiness.

I am a bisexual man getting pressured from my family to marry. While seeing any girl meeting any girl for marriage, I get a pass in terms of looks, finance, etc but cannot get through my sexual orientation. I don't want to hide anything before proceeding to marriage but in India, how do I approach openly? Any similar experience? Should I look for asexual person and have an open relationship? I am okay with that too 😬😓😓😓

I am a bisexual man getting pressured from my family to marry. While seeing any girl, meeting any girl for marriage, I get a pass in terms of looks, finance, etc., but cannot get through my sexual orientation. I don't want to hide anything before proceeding to marriage but in India, how do I approach openly? Any similar experience? Should I look for an asexual person and have an open relationship? I am okay with that too. 😬😥😓😞

Hey

29, 6'1", currently based in Pune

I’m looking for a serious, long-term relationship with someone who believes in building a life together, not just dating for the sake of it.

By profession, I’m a software Engineer, so my work is driven by logic and problem-solving. Outside work, though, I’m happiest on the open road. Friends would describe me as calm, dependable, curious, and someone who’s always planning the next adventure.

Travelling is more than a hobby for me—it’s how I learn. I love discovering hidden places, experiencing different cultures, trying local food, and understanding how people live. Whether it’s a weekend motorcycle ride, a spontaneous road trip, or a dream of exploring new countries, I’m always looking forward to the next journey.

I value honesty, emotional maturity, mutual respect, and open communication. I believe the strongest relationships are built on friendship, shared experiences, and choosing each other through every phase of life.

An ideal weekend would be hopping on the bike, chasing sunsets, exploring cafés or street food, wandering through a new place, or simply enjoying meaningful conversations over coffee.

I’m hoping to meet someone between 22–27 who is kind, emotionally mature, curious about life, and excited to grow together. Someone who wants to support each other’s ambitions, travel the world, create lasting memories, and build a relationship where it always feels like we’re on the same team.

If that sounds like the kind of story you’d like to write too, I’d love to get to know you.

Hey everyone,

I'm a 23 year old guy from Mumbai, currently working as a Junior Manager in the logistics industry. I'm bisexual, and after thinking a lot about life, family expectations, and what kind of future I want, I've realized that a lavender marriage could genuinely work for me.

I'm looking for someone who understands the idea of companionship, mutual respect, emotional support, and giving each other the freedom to live authentically without unnecessary pressure or judgment.

A little about me:

23 years old

Based in Mumbai

Hindu Marathi

5'4" (just being transparent)

Financially independent and focused on building a stable future

Calm, understanding, and straightforward as a person

I enjoy good conversations, traveling occasionally, movies/music, and honestly just having peace in life

About marriage and future plans:

I'm planning to get married in the next 3-4 years

I do want kids in the future

I'm looking for a partnership where both people genuinely support each other and can also be friends beyond just "society ke liye shaadi"

I strongly believe honesty and communication matter more than pretending to be someone we're not

I'm open to connecting with:

Bisexual women

Lesbian women looking for a mutual understanding type of marriage

Asexual women who are comfortable with the idea of companionship, family life, and a stable future together

I'm not looking for anything toxic, controlling, or fake. The goal is to create a safe, respectful, and understanding bond where both people can live life on their own terms while still having a dependable partner by their side.

If you think our thoughts align or you'd simply like to talk and understand each other better, feel free to DM. No pressure, no judgment just genuine conversation.

Hey, I'm 22F looking for a gay/asexual Brahmin guy for a marriage of convenience. He must be located anywhere in India. Age must be 22-27 years. Kindly DM or comment if anyone would like to take this further.

Ps- please don't come for me for mentioning the need for a brahmin guy. I can't fight my parents on this.

Hey everyone,
I’m working on a research paper for law school about public opinion on same-sex marriage in India and need some survey responses.

The questionnaire is anonymous, takes around 5 minutes, and asks about topics like marriage equality, adoption rights, religion, politics, and social acceptance of LGBTQ+ people.

I’m looking for responses from people of all viewpoints—not just those who support or oppose same-sex marriage. Honest answers are what matter most.

Survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe2NvTWGu7oFA3siL68MiXfz1BV0BHC0D21bEpfSXF\_wW7EvQ/viewform?usp=publish-editor

I’d really appreciate the help. Thanks!

I'm a 22 year old Female, looking for a lavender marriage arrangement. I'm quite independent and prefer to have my partnerships and don't believe in being tied to one person for life. I'm a brahmin and I'm situated in Bhubaneswar, Odisha and would prefer someone of the same caste, age must be within 30 (25-30 being ideal). Kindly connect if that's what you're looking for. Thank you🥰