r/NextGenMan

everywhere i look, someone is telling men to make more money, build muscle, dress better, become more confident.

none of that is bad.

but i feel like a lot of guys are chasing a version of success they didn't even choose for themselves.

they're exhausted trying to keep up with a checklist they found online.

what if being a better man isn't about becoming louder or richer?

what if it's just about being someone who keeps his word, looks after his health, treats people well, and has enough discipline to do what he said he'd do?

i don't know.

i just think we've made masculinity feel like a competition when it probably shouldn't be.

curious what everyone else thinks.

what does being a "good man" actually mean to you?

I'm a 34-year-old guy, 5'7", 245 pounds, with a 44-inch waist, and I feel completely stuck.

What frustrates me the most isn't that I don't know \\\*how\\\* to lose weight. I know I need to eat less, make better food choices, and be more active. The problem is that I can't seem to stay disciplined long enough to make it work.

A while ago I could at least make it several days into a diet before breaking. Now I struggle to even get through Day 1. I'll tell myself I'm starting tomorrow, but then I end up eating whatever I want because "the diet hasn't started yet." Then tomorrow becomes the next day, and then the next week, and before I know it, another month has gone by without doing anything.

Honestly, I feel like food controls me instead of me controlling it. I'll be fully aware that what I'm doing is hurting my goals, but I'll do it anyway. Afterwards I feel frustrated, guilty, and disappointed in myself.

1. How much weight did you lose and how long did it take?

2. How did you do it?

I always say I'll cheat just one more day and start tomorrow. Then I tomorrow myself into weeks and months of not doing anything.

I couldn't focus on anything longer than a few minutes. My brain felt broken. I'd start reading something and by paragraph two my hand was already reaching for my phone. Work was painful, conversations were hard to follow, even watching movies felt like effort.

I saw someone mention that reading physical books retrains your attention span so I tried a stupid simple challenge. 10 pages a day, no phone nearby, for 30 days. That's it.

The first week was brutal. 10 pages felt like running a marathon. My mind kept wandering, I'd reread the same paragraph three times, and I was constantly fighting the urge to check something on my phone. I almost quit multiple times.

Week two got slightly easier. I stopped reaching for my phone automatically. I could get through a few pages before my attention drifted. Still hard but something was shifting.

By week three I actually started enjoying it. 10 pages became 15 because I wanted to keep going. I noticed I was less anxious in general. Falling asleep faster because I was reading instead of scrolling before bed.

After 30 days the changes went way beyond reading. My focus at work improved noticeably. I could sit through a task for an hour without needing a distraction break. Conversations felt easier because I was actually present instead of mentally jumping around. The brain fog I'd accepted as normal started lifting.

I think what happened is I was retraining my brain to tolerate non-stimulating input. Phones and social media condition you for constant dopamine hits. Books are slow and linear. Reading them daily was like physical therapy for my attention span.

Still doing it four months later. 10 pages minimum, usually more now. Such a small habit but it fixed something I thought was permanently broken.

Only Great things await you after
Something like this.
Heartaches and headaches
Are only the symptoms of a legitimate
Transformation ahead of YOU.

Breakups are quite Real and painful , no doubt.

You know what is also REAL.
The Breakthrough that you are starting to experience.

This is a world of numbers and words
When you allow only One love in your life instead of LOVE IN YOUR LIFE
You are ignoring A UNIVERSAL Truth.
Love is Plural
NOT Singular.