r/PrincessFeminism

This is something that is really throwing a wrench in my mental state lately.

I am white, and I have all the privileges that come with that (I mean, minus the ones for white men obviously, but you get what I mean). I also have a history of taking a lot of shit from men from many racial/ethnic/etc backgrounds, especially being sexually harassed and stalked. In my experience men are gonna be men in a patriarchal global society and I’m learning to say “no” to toxic behaviors and sexual advances from men better than I ever have.

It’s just that sometimes (big emphasis on sometimes), I’ll encounter toxic behavior coming from a BIPOC man and I feel like I’m supposed to just hold my tongue because like… the optics of a white person criticizing them looks bad or something?!

Example: I have a friend of a friend who is treated awfully by her husband. He cheats on her, neglects her when she’s sick, and is just generally a creep. But she gives him so much more grace than she deserves, and when someone else stands up for her he calls them racist! It’s like I’m not allowed to judge this guy even though he disgusts me!

I don’t know how to deal with these feelings where I know an individual is doing something wrong, and I want to call them out as an individual, but I also think I’ll get public backlash because of differences in race. I hate having to be quiet, but I also don’t want to be one of those horrible white feminists that hyper focus on misogyny in BIPOC communities and don’t scrutinize white society the same way.

It’s just feels like I’m stuck. How do other people deal with this?

This is to do with the Lindsay Clancy case. I haven't been following this case all that much and I don't claim to be an expert on PPP. However, I feel like I'm going insane with the amount of men not even having the slightest bit of empathy for this woman. They say things like "it doesn't matter if she had a mental illness, she deserves the electric chair".

If it's true that she was going through psychosis, it quite literally wasn't her fault.

"Well, PPP is an explanation, not an excuse" Except is quite literally IS a valid legal excuse. If the court determines that she did kill her children and that she wasn't actually in control of her actions, she will be found NOT GUILTY by reason of insanity.

PEOPLE ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF THEIR ACTIONS WHEN THEY ARE EXPERIENCING A PSYCHOTIC EPISODE. I'm so fucking tired of people acting like a woman (UNCONTROLLABLY) harming her child while experiencing PPP is the exact same as Ted Bundy just because the same activity was involved. It's fucking ridiculous. Intent is SO important during a murder trial. These people wouldn't argue that killing in self defence warrants the same punishment as someone who killed an innocent person just for shits and giggles.

Also, if Patrick was the one who killed those babies and Lindsay was the one who found them dead, they would absolutely not be defending her like they are with Patrick. She'd be called a slut and an unfaithful whore for remarrying 4 months after seeing her 3 children murdered. Let's be so fr.

It's so painful to realise the amount of female history that was erased or the amount of Einsteins that were locked up in their homes. Even the few women who were able to have a breakthrough had their discoveries stolen by men or had their names erased. Even in literature women had to have male pen names. Mozart's sister was a better musician than he was but sge was never given the chance to make something of herself. Every time I see men make comments like why aren't there more female F1 drivers, female chess players, female scientists etc. I get so so mad because why do you think? You take everything from us and ask us why we have nothing? How can you think 10,000 years of oppression can leave in a span of 30 years? I don't know how to deal with this. The amount of voices that were silenced.

Men, enough with the constant validation seeking and simping. You’re not helping yourselves or anyone else by putting women on a pedestal and begging for approval.

Gender equality means equal importance and equal rights. It does not mean men and women are the same. We are biologically different. Higher testosterone in men, different average libido patterns, different risk taking tendencies, these are not opinions, they’re biology. Pretending otherwise just creates confusion and resentment.

Yet look at the selective outrage. Animal and Kabir Singh still get dragged years later for showing raw male aggression and toxic traits. Fine. But where’s the same energy for shows like Four More Shots Please or Jee Karda, or the long list of Hollywood projects that casually glorify female cheating and treat it as empowerment or “finding yourself”? Silence. Selective criticism is not progress, it’s bias.

Equal rights, yes. Pretending men and women are interchangeable, no. And selective moral policing of only one side’s flaws? That’s not equality either.

I sometimes say misandrist stuff because I’m mad or my past experiences but I won’t deny…

I’m sorry but I actually do love men, I do. If i didn’t love men I wouldn’t befriend or date them or listen to them or want to be in their company, but I do. I love men’s personalities, their voices, their humor and their looks. I find men really attractive, their bodies too. They are hot, i’m sorry but I have to say it, I can’t hate men, even though I say I do sometimes, I never mean it. I’m a man lover, sorry 😕

I’m still a woman lover obviously, but I am very attracted to men in a way that’s different than women. Maybe i’m a pick me, maybe i’m male centered, who knows.