r/Samesexparents

The idea essentially is sort of coparenting with one wlw couple and one mlm couple. Maybe not even true coparenting (every other week type coparenting) but like have kids together (biological siblings) and then raise them as cousins/family?

I can see a lot of potential issues with this but it also seems like it would be a great way for the kids to get to experience having a mom/dad combo and like a mutually beneficial sperm donation/suragacy situation with built in “family” support while raising the kids.

Has anyone done something like this? What’s your review?

My wife and I have been together for a long time and we are ready to have kids together. We want to do insemination with no man involvement. We want to anonymous get sperm from the sperm bank. My wife is the one who wants to carry and give birth to the baby. My wife and I are on the same page that we make sure I get the same rights to the baby as she does. I believe I would have to adopt the child after birth. We want to make that the man has zero rights to baby. Who do you consult with about the process? Do we get a lawyer before we start the process? What kind of lawyer would we get?

My partner and I have a wonderful relationship, and she is my person. I want to have kids with her. We had a discussion recently that bummed me out a little and I’m curious what you all think.

We are discussing having kids. My partner has always wanted to be pregnant, though she is also unsure about putting in the extra effort because there are so many kids up for adoption. I think adoption is an incredible thing to do, but I’m not sure it’s for me for a variety of reasons. I am concerned about rolling the dice of the genetic lottery with adoption, which feels wrong admittedly. I also am scared that I wouldn’t be equipped to help my child heal from the inherent trauma of adoption.

I asked if she would feel this ethical pull to adopt as much if she were in a straight relationship, and she said she would probably have less guilt about getting pregnant (though would still be interested in adoption). This made me feel sad, because the majority of straight people do not feel guilt about procreating or wanting a kid genetically related to them. It seems like she would have a different ethical standard if she were in a hetero relationship, which feels unfair. She is bisexual, and I am not, and I feel myself becoming jealous of a theoretical man with a conversation like this. What if she decides she wants an easier life to have kids? We are both in our thirties and have been together for years now.

Is this insecurity I’m feeling unreasonable/biphobic? Has anyone else had conversations like this in their relationship?

Hi all, could really use some advise from anyone in a similar situation..
my now ex partner and I (lesbian and unmarried) recently had a baby. I’m the bio mum. My ex partner has autism was always on the fence around having kids (more leaning no.) but she knew for me it was a deal breaker.
She agreed for me to start trying, but due to her not really wanting a child I went through fertility treatment on my own, she didn’t attend any of the IUI appointments and I funded everything. I suffered an early miscarriage and my ex partner did not care and offered me no comfort whilst I was grieving. When I finally did get pregnant I was desperate for her to feel kicks/connect with baby but she was uninterested.
In hindsight these were all major red flags I chose to ignore..

she attended the birth and surprisingly fell in love with the baby immediately. However she then decided to go on holiday whilst I was 2 weeks post c section for a few days whilst I begged her to stay. ( my mum had to come help me).
3 month postpartum and we have decided it’s for the best to go our separate ways. I’m trying to navigate how her parental role will look in the baby’s future.. she is desperate to still be mum, however she isn’t on the birth certificate.
I’m struggling to come up with a plan.
Any advice on how to work this out or anyone been in a similar situation?
Please be kind and gentle with me, I am 3 months postpartum and this has already been hard enough…
Thank you ❤️

Does anyone know of any reddit communities (or communities on other platforms) for 2 mom household raising sons? I naively searched "lesbian moms" on reddit and, well, i'm sure you can all guess what kind of stuff came up.

My child (school age) is starting to ask questions about how babies are made and how everyone fits into his life.
He wants to know why he doesn’t spend more time with his “dad” and how come he has 3 mums, Bio (mum), Other mum legally on his birth certificate (mummy) , and step mum (mama), known donor (dad) also gay.

I’ve explained the basics of how mum and mummy wanted to make a baby, they asked a friend to help them & that’s his dad.
Mum and Mummy separated when he was 1 and Mama met him around his 2nd birthday.

I can imagine how confusing this must be and how hard it would be to explain to school friends.

He maintains a relationship with all parents. Lives with Bio Mum & Bonus mum, every 2nd weekend with other mum and sees his dad on special occasions.

He also has 4 sets of grandparents due to this dynamic. Half siblings, step siblings but we call every one brothers and sisters and don’t use terms like step or half.

Any advice on how to explain his story to him in a way that doesn’t make him feel his story of weird just different.

He is very loved and adored and is a lucky boy as he has so many people who love him.

Hi everyone! I'm looking for WhatsApp groups made up of same-sex families to share stories, advice, and recommendations.
If anyone knows of a group, I'd love to join. Please let me know

My wife and I are going through a divorce, and things have gotten really painful around custody of our 9 month old daughter. I'm the non-birthing parent, and my wife has been resistant to me adopting her; she's expressed a lot of fear that if I have equal legal footing, I'll "take her away," even just for a single night. It's become clear she'd prefer I not have real parenting time at all, and that's been devastating to sit with, especially because I didn't expect pushback on wanting shared custody.

Some context that's probably feeding into her anxiety: she's not fond of my extended family, and I'm planning to pursue a PhD in Europe. I want to be upfront that I have no intention of relocating our daughter internationally—she'd stay in the U.S. for stability, and I'd push for extended time during holidays and summers instead.

I'm based in Chicago. I'm trying to figure out:

1. Has anyone here co-parented successfully (or even semi-successfully) when one parent lives significantly farther away, whether that's a different state or country?

2. If you were the non-bio/non-birthing parent, how did you navigate a partner's fear or resistance around adoption and shared custody?

3. Any resources, parenting plan structures, or just personal stories about making long-distance shared custody work for a young kid would help.

Trying to advocate for my relationship with my daughter without escalating things further than they need to be. Appreciate any perspective.

I am not pregnant, but my partner and I are serious and are thinking about our future together, including children.

I am a white American woman and come from a moderate-to-liberal family. I consider myself quite progressive, while my parents have some progressive ideals but are more moderate than I am.

My partner is Hindu, from South Asia, and is currently becoming a doctor here in the US. He also has progressive beliefs and used to be politically active in his home country, although he eventually stepped away from politics because of the toll it was taking on his mental health.

His family, however, is much more conservative, and they have not met me yet. He and I are thinking carefully about how to introduce me to them, but that is somewhat of a separate issue.

What I am thinking more about is how we would raise our future children.

I want my children to feel free to express themselves however they want and not feel unnecessarily limited by their gender. I would probably still use boy/girl names and refer to them as my daughter or son based on their sex, but I want them to feel completely free to play with whatever toys they enjoy, wear whatever clothes they like, participate in whatever sports interest them, and generally explore their interests without being told that something is "for boys" or "for girls." The same would apply to household responsibilities and, eventually, their careers.

I would also accept and support them if they came out as a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth.

I think my family would be relatively easy to navigate in this regard, although I still expect there could be some disagreements or challenges since my parents are from an older generation.

I don't think my partner's family will ever fully come around to these ideas, and I don't necessarily expect them to. What concerns me is how to protect our children from feeling suppressed, ashamed, or judged when they are around that side of the family.

I also understand that there may be cultural differences depending on where we are. For example, if we were to take our children to my partner's home country, I recognize that there could be social expectations they would need to follow for their own safety and well-being. I don't want to put my children in a situation where they are expected to openly challenge cultural norms in a way that could put them at risk.

At the same time, part of me wonders whether seeing the contrast between different cultures and family environments could actually be beneficial for their development. They could potentially learn that different people have different values and expectations while also understanding that they are allowed to think for themselves.

I don't want my children to grow up believing that one side of their family is "bad" or that their cultural background is something to be ashamed of. At the same time, I don't want "respecting culture" to become a justification for relatives making them feel bad about themselves, policing their interests, or imposing rigid gender expectations on them.

For those who grew up between significantly different cultures, or who are raising children in a multicultural family: How did you handle situations where one side of the family had much more conservative expectations than the other?

And for parents in similar situations, how do you draw the line between teaching children to respect cultural differences and relatives trying to impose gender expectations on them?

More than anything, I am worried about their physical and emotional safety in more conservative environments while also protecting their confidence, sense of identity, and ability to think for themselves.

(I used ChatGPT to help edit my grammar)