r/TrueAskReddit

[removed]

I'm curious to hear from men who have been through this.

At this stage of life, changing careers isn't as simple as "quit and find something you love." There are bills, family, kids, financial responsibilities, and years of experience invested in what you've already built.

But how do you know when a job is simply not right for you anymore?

I'm not necessarily talking about a terrible boss, bad salary, or toxic workplace. What if the job is objectively fine — you're reasonably well paid, you're good at it, and there's nothing seriously wrong with it — but you simply don't care about what you're doing anymore?

I've been thinking about whether being interested in the problems you're solving actually matters more than we tend to admit.

You can become more productive, learn new skills, use better tools, and earn more money — but if you spend most of your working life solving problems you don't find meaningful or interesting, is that eventually going to catch up with you?

For those of you over 40 who have faced something similar:

What made you realize it was time for a change?

Did you actually make the change, or decide that stability was more important?

If you changed careers or directions, how did it affect your family and finances?

And looking back, would you make the same decision again?

I'd especially like to hear from people who didn't have the luxury of simply quitting and had to balance the desire for change with family and financial responsibilities.

I'm 18 and a male. I've tried dating before only to get my heartbroken near every time and I think it's really messed me up.

The first girl | liked I got rejected and cried (I was in kindergarten lol), the second one I was getting close to a relationship with but than Covid happened and I discovered masturbation at the same time so those two combined really fucked me over and made me push away the relationship. I'm not gonna emphasize how much loneliness and discovering that at my age did but it really fucked me bad mentally making me afraid of girls lowkey (it was around 6th grade through middle school). Than in high school there was this girl that did like me and I liked her but my friends convinced me not to be with her so I didn't get with her. I've made so many mistakes and just don't seem to learn no matter how bad I want to.

Now finally I've tried dating apps but just can't seem to not be fearful when talking or on dates. Sure I've matched with some cool and honestly 10/10 girls but I don't like the idea of not getting to know someone before the attraction is known.
Idk if it's trauma or something but I want to be loved so bad yet I'm terrified of it because every time I try I get hurt.

Another thing that hurts me is I was kinda ugly toh in earlier years but around high school I improved my looks thinking it would change something. It did actually, in terms of attraction and attention I was getting a ton but than I realized. They didn't seem interested when I was ugly but now that I'm good looking they care? | never judged anyone based on looks but now these people like me because I'm good looking? It disgusted me to my very core and I felt sick at the realization. It's not like I didn't want the attention but realizing how quick people switched up made me feel terrible.

Ik this was long and maybe I ranted near the end but it hurts. I really do feel like this and many other things made me kind of dislike most people and isolate myself from a lot of people. Alright that's it though thanks for reading if you did and if you have anything encouraging to say or any advice please drop it below.