r/aftergifted

I have a feeling that most people that relate to this subreddit were not gifted at all. We were simply well-behaved kids (probably shy, anxious, depressed) and we likely developed a little faster than most other kids (hence we learned how to read and write sooner, which created our "intelligent" or "gifted" label)

Since we were kind of unhappy, and being obedient and doing homework was something positive for us, we relied too much on that to get affirmation and feel special, among other things. Then, real life came and it hit like a truck, and we're facing the hard truth that developing social skills was better than relying on our supposed big intelligence.

anyone else grow up smart only to end up retarded later on?, growing up I was considered highly intelligent, I was cognitively tested when I was 8 years old and scored 97th percentile in both math and verbal abilities, all throughout school many of my peers considered me a genius and I got loads of praise for it, then at 18 I came down with schizophrenia because of heavy drug use, and over the past year and a half I have accumulated brain damage from the schizophrenia, nowadays I am confident I would score no higher than 115 on an IQ test, I feel like I went from being really fucking smart to a genuine retard

I am a straight A student and a track star I should feel happy. When I see an A on a paper or test there is no happiness. However if I get a bad grade in my opinion sub 93. I get upset if I don’t win my track races, if I win I just think that’s standard. Everything’s empty there’s nothing that brings me true joy. Please help me. What kind of condition do I have?

Thank you guys so much for all of the help and support. I could tell my parents about it however I don’t think they’d understand. I’ve mentioned that I am burned out once to test the waters. They just brushed me off and said no you’re not. I don’t really have any hobbies that would help me feel joy. So I doesn’t sound like my parents are the devil, to other people it looks like im consistently happy. However I don’t find joy in any achievements. I don’t have any hobbies that I truly find joy in.
TL;DR: I don’t think my parents would understand what’s happening.

I have never shared my story publicly before, but I think it's time.

I was born as a twin. From childhood, my sister and I grew up believing that asking for anything beyond basic necessities was wrong. My father often compared us by saying, "She never asks for anything." Slowly, I stopped asking too. I learned that having needs would only create arguments.

Throughout my childhood, I was blamed for almost everything. Instead of being encouraged, I was often told that I wasn't capable, that I wasn't smart enough, and that nothing would happen in my life. Eventually, I began believing those words. I genuinely thought I was dumb.

During Classes 11 and 12, I wanted better coaching because I felt I wasn't learning properly. Many students were leaving those classes too, but when I asked to change teachers, it didn't happen. When my marks suffered, I was blamed instead of being supported. Looking back, I realize how much those years damaged my confidence.

I enrolled in a government college because that was my only realistic option. College became another struggle. There was constant politics, and I received multiple supplementary papers. Despite everything, I maintained a better CGPA than my sister. During those years, I repeatedly heard that nothing would ever become of me.

When my final supplementary paper wasn't cleared, I filed for script inspection through Calcutta University. Only then did I discover errors in the evaluation of my answer script. That was the moment I realized I had spent years blaming myself for something that wasn't entirely my fault. I still wish I had challenged the results earlier, but when you've spent years believing you're not good enough, you don't think you deserve to question the system.

Then, in 2025, my life changed forever. I lost my twin sister unexpectedly. Losing someone who had been with me since birth is a pain I still cannot describe.

For the next six months, instead of finding comfort, I often felt criticized by some relatives. During one of the darkest periods of my life, I experienced repeated comments that made me feel worthless and incapable. Rather than feeling supported, I felt judged.

After graduation, I was earning my own money by giving tuition. It wasn't much, but it gave me confidence that I could become financially independent.

At that stage, I wanted to invest in my education, learn new skills, and build my career. Instead, I felt pressure to attend an arranged marriage meeting before I was ready, while my sister had been able to pursue her master's degree in Pune. I remember asking my parents why I was being pushed toward marriage when all I wanted was the opportunity to build my career first.

Despite everything, I kept trying.

Within a few days, I received an offer from Cognizant. For the first time in years, I felt hope. I believed my life was finally about to change.

I relocated, believing I was starting my career. But my onboarding didn't happen as expected, and I had to return home. Since then, I have been living with uncertainty, waiting while continuing to apply for jobs and prepare for SSC CGL.

People often say, "Just get another job." I wish it were that simple. The job market is difficult. I keep applying, I keep learning, and I keep trying, but most applications receive no response.

What hurts the most is not just the setbacks themselves. It's spending years trying to prove that you're capable after growing up believing you never were.

I'm not sharing this to ask for sympathy or to blame anyone. I'm sharing it because people often see only where someone is today. They don't see the years of self-doubt, grief, academic struggles, family conflict, career uncertainty, and persistence that came before it.

Despite everything, I haven't given up.

I still study every day.

I still apply for jobs.

I still prepare for SSC CGL.

I still believe that one day I'll become financially independent and build the life I've been fighting for all these years.

If you've spent your life believing you weren't enough because that's what you repeatedly heard growing up, I hope you remember this:

Other people's words can become your inner voice.

But they do not have to become your future.