r/men

Why does society make him feel bad about another person's actions, calling him a weak, c*ck, s*mp or loser? But if a woman gets cheated on, everyone is usually like, "Oh, poor her..."

There’s this guy that I’m friends with, and I think he likes me but I can’t tell. We were watching a movie the other night and cuddling (he laid his head on my lap and later my chest) and kept rubbing my thighs. He also bit me and kept kissing my cheeks, forehead, and hands. That felt romantic to me, but he’s also Colombian and I don’t know if being touchy is just part of his culture or not. Any advice or thoughts? I’m a girl btw

This is question i have asked in my friend group and close fam. Had quite a laugh and interesting insights.

Would you rather date a biological girl who looks like your homie with a wig or a pre op trans girl that could put your celebrity crush to shame in looks?

No wrong answers boys, Explain ur reasons.

I am a man in my late 20’s. I work concessions in an arena.

I usually engage in a little harmless flattery when interacting with customers. It is considered rude to comment on a customer’s appearance. It is rude to tell someone that they look sexy, point out that a woman is busty, ask someone how much they weigh, etc.

That said, it is okay (in most cases) to tell someone that the clothes they are wearing look cool. I have told many customers that those shoes are lovely, that I love their sweaters, etc. If someone is wearing a Friends T-shirt, I might make an inside joke, say something like; Could you be wearing a cooler shirt? If someone is wearing a Cobra Kai T-shirt, I might say; Fear does not exist in this arena, does it?

A little while ago this happened. A woman was wearing a top that exposed her cleavage. I do not remember what I said verbatim. I think it was something along the lines of; I love your top.

Fast forward about a half hour, business was slow, a female coworker (who was also working as a cashier in that particular outlet) insisted on talking to me and offering constructive criticism. She heard what I said to the aforementioned customer and noticed that the customer was wearing a slightly revealing top. The female worker said that, when you say that about a top that exposes cleavage, it sounds like you where flirting with her or like an admission that you were looking at her boobs.

Notice how specifically she worded that. She made it very clear that she was talking specifically about tops that expose cleavage. That was not the only customer I had complimented on the shirts they were wearing, but that was the only instance where the customer happened to be wearing a top that was exposing cleavage.

This is when I told the female coworker about my self-improvement journal and informed her of my plan to document this in it. The resolution I put in my journal is as follows. If a customer is wearing revealing clothes, I will not say anything about the revealing clothes. I will pretend that the revealing clothes do not exist. To be clear, if a customer is clothed more modestly, it is okay to tell them they are wearing a cool looking sweater. Complimenting someone on their earrings is probably okay.

I told this story to my sister-in-law. She said that anyone who did not want to receive a compliment like that would not be dressed like that.

After my sister-in-law said that, I began to think more about this issue.

Here are my thoughts.

• My sister-in-law had the right idea but made the wrong word choice.

A woman who dresses like that might not necessarily want to be complimented on the clothing. She may have worn it simply because she wanted to.

That said, if the customer did not want to be sexualized, then that means that she has motives for dressing like that other than being sexualized. If a woman who dresses like that does not necessarily want to be sexualized, then a man who compliments a woman on those clothes does not necessarily intend it in a sexual way.

You cannot have it both ways. You cannot say that a woman who dresses like that does not necessarily want to be sexualized and then say that any man who compliments her on those clothes is clearly trying to sexualize her.

That is the logical stance to take. However, the human brain does not reason robotically. Not only do we, as human beings, often experience intense irrational feelings, we know that those feelings are irrational while we are experiencing them.

• This is what my coworker should have said.

If you compliment a woman on a shirt that exposes her cleavage, she might interpret it as you flirting with her or an admission that you were starring at her boobs. I am not saying that that is is how she felt necessarily, it might not have been, but that could happen and it is not worth the risk.

The above paragraph is what my coworker should have said. A sentiment, like the one described above, carries with it the sense of; I’m not saying that this is fair, I’m just saying that it happens.

Compare what I think my coworker should have said and what my coworker actually said. What my coworker should have said was a warning that, even if what I said was intended in a non-sexual manner, people may take it the wrong way.

What my coworker actually said was not a warning that people might take it the wrong way. What she was saying was that, if I compliment a customer on her shirt (that exposes her cleavage) and she interprets it a flirtatious or an admission that I was starring at her boobs, that would be the right way to take it.

I’m looking to buy some toys. Please give me some recommendations.

I've anger issues. I've been told if you suppress your emotionally it'll fade with time. But in my case it won't work. last year I've met one my classmate who used to bully me in school and it's been 8 years. Seeing his face again. My hatred for him has returned and as I told you it has grown. In my bloodline mostly man has anger issues. I don't consume alcohol. If I do i might not control my anger and can hurt my loved ones. What should I do. I go to gym, do calisthenics even do cardio 5km something. It suppress my emotions and anger but this does not end my hatred. Any solution even yoga and other meditation won't work on me.

I hear all these embarrasing stories about people my age trying to act tough or strong in front of girls and absolutely living to regret it. And I think girls are tired of it too yk, so at every opportunity like lifting a table or a chair for example, I pretend it's a lot harder than it actually is. I dont make a huge deal about it or expressely try to draw attention to my "weakness" but if i see another guy in my class do it effortlessly I will intentionally do it slower or with a bit more strain.
I think it actually gets to the point where I feel almost ashamed to do something even slightly impressive when a girl is watching. Like im learning to spin a basketball on my finger and at one point I did it really well in front of a couple girls and I thought "ohh god they must think im trying really hard to impress them". So for the next like 3 minutes I made sure I fucked it up really bad.
I can also do a pull-up just fine. Like when my friends are watching i can do like 5-7. But if a girl is watching ill do like a half MAX.
I also sometimes act dumber than I am to make girls laugh but I do that with everyone so I dont think it's that bad.

Im posting this here because like. Is that bad? I know it's probably not good but it has to be better than pretending to be strong or cool right?

I've been in a relationship since few months, and I've been brainstorming ideas on how to be a better partner. Especially that my boyfriend has to deal with my mental illnesses and life struggles so looking to be less of a burden. Turns out the fact that I listen to his problems and validate his feelings and being interested in his hobbies and passion is more than enough for him? I'm clueless about gaming yet I always like seeing him passionate about a subject and try my best to understand what he is talking about. Apparently these acts make me a gem for him despite that I'm a literal bundle of traumas, mood swings and illnesses. To me it's not a big deal but to him it's????

Been in a dead bedroom for nearly two years, and I finally get it.

When your wife "friendzones" you, there's nothing you can do to fix it. Gifts, taking on a larger portion of the housework, kind words, date nights. None of it works.

So I'm just wondering if I'm just being cynical or if this is truly how things are now?

so for context i have a crush on this guy in my class or whatever & i would say we have similar interests, and now school has ended now for the summer. but like during class im dead silent and he’s quiet too but sometimes he talks but like we have made plenty of eye contact and he would always smile at me, he glances at me sometimes when im not looking or like when i would get up to leave class or like just to get my things for class. he sits infront of me and then there’s 2 other guys that sits at our table. we dont talk AT ALL

yesterday was the last day but like the other 2 guys weren’t there so it was just me and my crush. he usually puts his beats in but i noticed that he didn’t yesterday & i kinda felt like he was looking at me when i wasn’t looking but also whenever i would look up at something or the other ppl in the class, he would look up at what i was looking at. later on that day someone made a funny joke and we both made eye contact and we were smiling & i looked away and looked back at him but he was still looking and his face was lowkey red. he ended up leaving early but as he left he was like looking in my direction.

( also btw i have him on instagram, we follow eachother, any tips? or advice you guys can give me?)

(Not a diss, I think hookup culture can be bad but I think nonmonogamy or open relationships are good for some people and can be executed in a very healthy way. )

But iv always been curious, to those who are always fiending, or to like gooners or other hypersexual individuals, do you have any hobbies or serious passions or like idiosyncratic goals or like whatever.

The duality of like Freddie Mercury having week long orgies while being a household name, or like someone who frequents Folsom being a very serious painter or something is really interesting to me.

Hey guys
I have no dating experience and I’m just trying to get to dating but the thing is that i can’t even imagine asking someone out or even flirting or something
I have been raised in a quiet reserved family and even in my high school I didn’t talked to women that much
It’s been 1-2 years since I’ve grown a lot and gained a lot of confidence because of doing gym and now i can talk to ppl/initiate conversations with women too
But the thing is i feel like i shouldn’t talk to women to just ask them out or doing cold approach
I ask a lot of people what to do but eventually i can’t decide what to act on

OK, I'm gonna try to make this really short. I started dating this guy who I've seen around my neighborhood for years. He ended up getting my number and initiating conversation with me. Surprisingly he flirted with me which ended up leading to us getting to know eachother. I was surprised that he flirted because he seems like the type to date outside of his race or possibly into men.

I hate to sound judgy but yeah he was just... different. In a good way though, in my eyes he's just a free spirited person who wears what he wants and is not hypermasculine, just seems to walk at the beat of his own drum. For me it's intriguing. However, where I come from I'm not used to these type of men at all so of course it made me question certain things.

One day I ended up asking him to call me, and I basically asked his sexual preference and did question his sexuality. I definitely did not go about that conversation the right way —I panicked and it sounded as if I was wanting to end things.. (which I didn't want, I actually enjoyed dating him) .

He respected it but didn't answer the rest of my questions, cut the conversation short and said we should talk another time. He was initially supposed to come talk that following day so I said let's have a better talk tmrw. I ended up calling his phone back to back about 4 times the following night when I didn't hear from him🤦🏽‍♀️

I felt like he was tryna avoid the situation or probably upset & I just wanted to clear things up. He ended up ending things for good when he did answer stating that the calls were red flags. (which I understand) but keep in mind he's been direct the entire time before this situation, and we recently had started getting intimate so feeling like he's avoiding was triggering for me —especially with me knowing I'm a very open person and even if he was bisexual I'd still date him.

Do you think he officially ended it mainly because of the calls or because I questioned his sexuality ? Or because he's dl and didn't like that I caught on ? Or something else 👀

The internet is filled with posts of men calling women “bops”, laughing at single mothers and making “loose” vagina jokes. I’ve seen memes so revolting made by men that it only deepened my hate towards men because I can tell they are not just jokes. They never are. Let’s not even go down the Epstein files and rape academies because I would write endless essays which would absolutely exhilarate me. I recently came to the conclusion a lot of males are simply defected, there’s no other way around it. I hold the opinion that their obsession with sex is an illness we have not yet classified because of being under a patriarchy and that would mean the majority of men would be called mentally ill (which I strongly believe they are). There’s nothing normal about consuming porn every single day, begging women to fuck you nonstop, even going as far as manipulating them, coercing them and sulking when they don’t want to give you sex. We diagnose people who overeat, who have depression and suicidal thoughts. We even diagnose people who clean way too much. There’s a diagnosis for everything but needing a sexual activity nonstop is supposed to be normal? I get it abundance of sex is not really harmful in a visible way (except erectile dysfunction). Healthy sexual life can even be beneficial for health. But casual sex, porn, all the STDs, rapes, only fans… It is not normal and no one can persuade me otherwise. I also hold a strong opinion that men are simply the generator of all this degenerate, primal kind of  behavior which is so heavily normalized and women are unfortunately the fuel. There are countless of harmful kinks and fetishes which women have been told are absolutely normal and sexy and under the need of being desired, they give in. The fact that almost 90% of sexually active people have HPV is revolting to me. It feels like we haven’t moved far from our animal ancestors. It feels like we developed into something far worse. Also why is it that society is quick to call a promiscuous woman a slut or a nymphomaniac but when it comes to men we see them as studs? Being so desperate about sex is not normal when it comes to men or women. On the top of it all, it only makes the person much less attractive when they resort to begging because they’re unable to control themselves. Begging for sex is the most off-putting thing in a relationship and kills the attraction faster than anything else. I wish people woke up. I understand there will always be addicts. There will always be people addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling and sex. But I wish we saw it for what it is, an actual mental illness which is normalized and even praised. 

I am 19 years old. I started uni in September 2025 and I live there, there was no handheld sprayer so I resorted to toilet paper - I was happy with it as it was quicker and did the job. I recently moved back home where there is a handheld bidet sprayer I used it for 18 yrs of my life but now I use tp only even at home out of habit and convenience , I told my brother this and he said that’s weird?