r/saltierthancrait

For me, I lost interest in the franchise in post-Mando season 2.

As a Star Wars fan, I let the prequels and Force Awakens slide, despite not being great movies. But at least The Phantom Menace has the best lightsaber fight in the whole saga and Darth Maul. Rogue One was a top 3 Star Wars movie for me, which probably has the best ending scene in any Star Wars movie (other than the Vader plot twist in Empire Strikes Back).

Then you get to The Last Jedi, which was a very messy movie in terms of narrative and execution, despite having some great visuals. It wasn't horrible but something about it just made me.... Not happy, given the character arcs, such as Finn being separated from Rey and killing off half of the villains in the movie. But I knew that there would be one more movie in the Disney trilogy, so I decided to stay on.

And you get to Solo, which in my opinion, isn't very good and finally, Rise of Skywalker, which once again, just like Last Jedi is a very messy movie in terms of narrative and execution. Funny enough, I think that some of the Palpatine parts are pure camp and in a good way, but most of it is not good. It's probably the worst movie in the Skywalker Saga, tied with Attack of the Clones.

Now for TV series, I only seen the first two seasons of The Mandalorian, which was decent, with some good episodes. But once Disney made sure that Star Wars started to feel like homework, I just stopped watching after that. Which started becoming a problem with The Mandalorian season 2 but has since gotten worse. I'm sure Andor is good, but I just have no interest in, even having skipping out on last month's release of The Mandalorian & Grogu.

Funny enough, my interest in Star Wars has since shifted to Tom Cruise movies (e.g. Mission: Impossible, Top Gun, Edge of Tomorrow) and I am a bit intrigued about Digger, which is coming up in a few months. Even I really liked the last two Mission: Impossible movies, despite mixed audience reception. So at least this story has a happy ending.

This gameplay trailer shows a very promising game. Visually it's perfect, and the feel on the speeders and pods and sound design is very satisfying. I was a hardcore player of the N64 star wars racer and I'm honestly very impressed with what we see here. I've also heard there's a roguelike mode and honestly although this genre is a bit overdone lately, I think it's perfect for a racing game.

The initial trailer was a bit underwhelming and I was kinda meh seeing it, but this new video changed my mind

I just cringed with the dialogue stuff and shoehorning sequel trilogy into the game..

Thoughts?

I’m genuinely curious what they would be about because there is so much problems that comes with it.

Making stories before TFA would be difficult because it’s basically impossible to connect ROTJ to the trilogy:

Han going back to smuggling when he is a recognizable war hero.

Palpatine somehow surviving and just laying dormant on Exegol for decades.
Etc etc.

Also there is problem because TFA refused to world build it’s not possible to flesh out the New Republic since we never saw it so any writers won’t have anything to go with so they would have to create things from scratch unlike the say the prequels that had countless Jedi and politicians that were extras in the movies but could be fleshed out in EU media.

Making stories during the DT is difficult since it’s only a year long and the main character didn’t interact at all that much together during that time.

And making stories after DT is difficult since given how OP Rey it would be a bit like making superhero stories of a superhero team that’s consist of Superman and a bunch of Robins.

In the OT each character had complimentary skills but while Rey is good at everything.

I’ve seen a few claims online that Filoni was a part of the story development of the Sequels, namely The Last Jedi, but I haven’t seen any actual sources corroborate that.

Could someone help me out here?

I ran out of ideas, but it should include all kinds of stuff from best "hire fans" moments to most insane Lucas' and the worst Disney ideas to plot holes to Glup Shittos:

- Named "The Adventures of Skywalkers, as taken from the Journal of the Whills, Saga X, Episode Y: [Episode Name]", where X is number of trilogy

- Three trilogies condensed into three 3-4 hour long films so that the pace is insane

- Midichlorians are Rakatan nanomachines

- Force has power ranks like in X-Men The Last Stand, Rey is Class 5, Anakin is Class 4, Obi-Wan is Class 3 etc; characters mention them all the time

- Several scenes of major characters using the bathroom

- Lots of mentions of Earth animals like "You are such a Danish Landrace Pig, Jabba"

- Anakin with a mohawk

- Palpatine is the clone of Darth Plagueis

- Palpatine is Padme's cousin

- Ridiculous lightsaber shapes for every new Sith character

- Anakin in Phantom Menace is 4 years old and is flirting with Padme who is 26

- Qui-Gon is not a paragon of virtue but an explicit degenerate gambling addict who is visibly having the time of his life during the pod races, he bets on Anakin with Watto for the thrill of it and only finds out on Coruscant he has lots of midichlorians. He attributes finding the Chosen One to his luck in gambling when presenting Anakin to the Council as a way to clear his name cause they kicked him out of there after he lost Dooku in Sabacc to a mysterious Sith-looking guy in a hood.

- 30-minute-long Senate scene about taxes and votes of no confidence and stuff like that

- Ahsoka is a major character in every movie and has two lines of dialogue across all of them, all she does is stands stoically with arms crossed in every major scene, including Luke vs Vader in ESB and RotJ. Her only two lines of dialogue are in a four-minute-long explicit intimate scene with Trapper Wolf.

- Ahsoka was trying to train Owen Lars as a Jedi because she believes everyone has potential regardless of their Class, that's why Owen doesn't like the Jedi

- Palpatine and Sidious were different people all along, Palpatine is clone of Sidious

- More cringe romance

- RotS is interrupted in the middle by a scene of Anakin aura farming that is edited like a TikTok edit, it contributes nothing to the plot but makes him look very cool

- Vader yelling Nooooo for 40 seconds straight

- Darth Maul is killed by Sidious during Clone Wars but returns, then he is killed by Obi-Wan but returns, then he is killed by Finn, post-credit scene shows Darth Maul returning and a hint of Yuuzhan Vongs and Darth Jar Jar, this is the only post-credit scene in the middle of the story, then credits say "Darth Maul will return", we never see him again

- Obi-Wan turns to dark side between episodes 3-4 and comes back to light, it is never mentioned again

- Qui-Gon is watching the Sabacc game between Han and Lando for Millennium Falcon as a Force ghost

- Ben Kenobi turns out to be clone of Obi-Wan

- Hondo Ohnaka becomes Grey Jedi

- Darth Vader falls in love with officers who looks like Padme four times

- Red droid R5-D4 turns out to be Yaddle hiding inside who intentionally unalives herself so that R2 is bought by Luke (this is canon btw, except for Yaddle part)

- Tarkin is wearing slippers in every scene he is in

- Han and Greedo shoot at the exact same time

- Count Dooku returns and becomes a Grey Jedi

- Dagobah is Naboo that went through climate change or smth

- Hoth is Kamino that went through climate change or smth

- Qui-Gon returns from the dead because he can't gamble as a Force ghost, it turns out he is the one who lost Cloud City to Lando in Sabacc

- "Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano?" scene verbatim while Ahsoka stands stoically nearby with arms crossed

- Everyone addresses The Emperor as The Senate, it confuses people but Palpatine insists on it, it turns out to be the reason he dismissed the actual Senate and also because it made him mad Mon Mothma called him "Emperor Palpatine" instead of "The Senate" during her speech in Andor

- Luke, I am your father

- After Yoda tells Luke that Leia is his sister Luke says that he wanted to rescue her from Death Star because he thought she's hot and also they kissed several times, Yoda gets visibly excited and says "Mmhhhhhm" then dies, leaving Luke very confused

- Admiral Ackbar is an Imperial spy and when he said "it's a trap" he meant it as a gotcha moment but no one got it so he just took the L and decided to quietly become a Rebel

- That guy with white beard on Endor says "Damn, it's just like me, Anakin, and Ahsoka on Kashyyk during the Clone Wars", Ahsoka stands nearby stoically with arms crossed and nods

- Vader tells Luke "Tell Leia to wear that white outfit with no bra more often", Luke says "She's your daughter", Vader says "Oh" then dies, leaving Luke very confused

- Lando Calrissian is Mace Windu's son, Saw Gerrera is Mace Windu's brother, Giddean Danu is Mace Windu's uncle, Tunnra Pamlo is Mace Windu's sister, Captain Panaka is Mace Windu's third cousin, Moff Gideon is Mace Windu's second cousin

- Snoke is Mace Windu

- Mace Windu is Palpatine's third cousin

- Luke becomes a hermit specifically to avoid Leia because sometimes there are worse things to confront than the dark side

- No name planets being blown like like it's some tragedy, grey flat most boring looking planet being blown up makes Poe Dameron die from sadness like Padme and be like "they blew up Papapeepooine....."

- Jabba returns and confronts Rotta for not being a criminal, but Rotta says he is his own man

- Rotta the Hutt is a major character

- Visible green screen flaws

- During the casino scene on Canto Bight we see Qui-Gon gambling in the background, this is the happiest and the last time we ever see him

- Several masked characters with cool designs who show up once and characters act like viewers are supposed to know them then we never see them again

- Jango Fett returns and hugs Boba

- Thrawn becomes a Grey Jedi

- Death Star lightsaber, green one that gets longer and longer till plot twist it's a laser that destroys a planet

- Several hyperspace ramming scenes

- Millennium Falcon becomes a fully sentient Force user and a Grey Jedi

- Finn is the grandson of Mace Windu and Obi-Wan

- While on Jakku Rey has a singing scene kinda like Rapunzel's "When Will My Life Begin?", this is the only singing scene across all movies, the song also shows off her practicing all those skills like piloting, engineering, alien languages, shooting, etc

- Han Solo gets a lightsaber and becomes a Grey Jedi

- First Order blows up Coruscant, right before laser hits the time pauses and we have a flyover shot with the Senate, Jedi Temple, Padme’s apartment, death sticks guy graduating from grad school, etc while sad music is playing

- First Order blows up Ferrix because they use bricks and screws, the speech Hux gives before blowing it up is much more passionate and angrier than the one before blowing up Coruscant

- Galen Marek returns and has an issue with Death Star 3 being called Starkiller, it's his biggest conflict and the only thing that motivates him. His arc is completed when he changes his name to Darth Icky

- Finn becomes a Jedi, turns to dark side, then comes back, then becomes Grey Jedi

- Rey is granddaughter of Obi-Wan and Padme who cheated on Anakin on father's side, and granddaughter of Palpatine on mother's side

- Obi-Wan turns out to be Anakin's father, he erased Shmi's memory with Force mind trick

- We watch a cool shot, at the end of it camera turns back and we see Tom Cruise was holding the camera, he is staring into the camera while laughing maniacally then getting poker-faced in an instant, then the movie keeps going like it didn't happen

- Chewbacca dies then returns then dies then returns again then dies for real

- Lightsabers are sentient

- Terribly de-aged CGI actors

- Ben Solo says "Love was the real Force all along" and his lightsaber turns from red to blue, that's how he becomes a Grey Jedi

- Luthen Rael returns and turns out to be a Grey Jedi

- Ben Quadinaros returns and becomes a Grey Jedi, is a major character of sequel trilogy

- Youngling who said "what are we going to do" returns and take a wild fucking guess what he does

- Bathos jokes like in MCU, e.g. a rebel saying "Uhh guys? I think he's having a bad day" during Vader hallway scene

- Grievous returns and gives lightsabers from his collection to everyone before final battle

- Final battle takes place on a planet that looks suspiciously like Hoth but all black, we see a rebel soldier sniffing the black snow and sneezing all over the place then saying "pepper"

- In the lost version of the movie the final battle takes place on a planet that looks suspiciously like Hoth, we see a rebel soldier sniffing the snow and getting visibly jittery and excited

- Final battle is LotR battle in a big hallway with thousands of Jedi and Sith, also Mortis Gods are involved

- Porgs, Ewoks, Aleenas, Jawas, Anzellans, and Gungans led by Baby Yoda, Ben Quadinaros, and Rotta unite as one army during the final battle

- Some Sith tells Rotta "You are no Jabba" and he be like Eowyn "No, I'm my own man", it turns out he is also a Grey Jedi

- Rey stops Death Star ray with Force during final battle

- Rey and Darth Icky pulling a planet with Force during final battle in opposite directions so it blows up like lightsaber in that scene in TLJ

- Final scene everyone says at the same time while looking into camera "We are Skywalkers, this is only the beginning", except for Ahsoka, she stands stoically with arms crossed and nods