u/GusGangViking18

My friend and I were basically best friends for about three years. We were extremely close, talked constantly, hung out all the time, and supported each other through some really difficult things. There was never anything sexual between us.
Then she started seeing one of my best friends. They were more or less FWB, but she ended up catching serious feelings for him. He apparently didn’t feel the same way and eventually told her not to talk to me anymore. She chose that relationship over our friendship, and I didn’t hear from her for about seven years.
About a month ago, she reached back out. She explained what had happened during those seven years and apologized for disappearing. She also told me about everything she’d gone through during that time — addiction, relapse, an abortion, bad breakups, and other difficult things. I initially wasn’t sure I even wanted to talk to her again, but once I realized how much she had been struggling, my old friend instincts kicked back in. I’ve been there for her and we’ve become close again very quickly.
There’s also a guy she’s been involved with recently. They’ve hooked up a few times, but he treats her pretty poorly. He doesn’t really answer her calls or texts, doesn’t make much effort with her, and has apparently told her he only wants to be friends now. She claims she hates him, but it’s obvious to me that she still has feelings for him.
Over the last three days, my friend and I started hanging out in person again. I helped her clean and set up her new apartment, we spent time together, and today she invited me over to her pool. She was being noticeably flirty with me, and we went to lunch afterward where she was also flirting with me.
The confusing part is that throughout the day she kept bringing up this other guy. I tried not to say anything because we’re not together and I don’t want to be controlling.
After lunch, I took her home, she gave me a big hug, and I left. About 20 minutes after I got home, she started talking to me about the other guy again. Eventually the conversation shifted toward **us**.

She said things like:
**“Why have we never dated lol”**
**“It’s never too late.”**
**“Maybe we should give it a shot some day.”**
**“But it honestly could work out great.”**
**“We already talk 24/7.”**
**“I’m down if you’re down.”**
**“Like I guess I do have feelings for you just not the way I thought they were.”**
**“Like I thought it was only friendship but now that I think about it I care about you way more than I care about anyone else.”**
**“And like I do get jealous when you have all these girls throwing themselves at you.”**
**“You hold a special place in my heart too.”**
**“I mean I care about you more than anyone else in my life.”**
**“Maybe we should give it a shot.”**
She also agreed when I joked that we’re basically already dating without the sex, and she said we’re basically like a couple.
So obviously, after that conversation, I’m thinking **okay, maybe we’re actually going to explore this.**

Then she fell asleep for a while.
When she woke up, **one of the first things she sent me was a screenshot of her conversation with the other guy**, showing that they’re going to a preseason NFL game together the next day, and that he was planning on going back to her place afterward to sleep over and watch UFC.
I didn’t get angry at her. I basically just said *“okay, have fun.”*
But honestly, I’m frustrated.

It’s not that I’m mad she’s going to the game with him. We’re not in a relationship, and I don’t think I have the right to tell her who she can see.
What bothers me is the **whiplash**.
She had just spent hours telling me that she has feelings for me, that she cares about me more than anyone else, that she gets jealous when other girls are interested in me, that she thinks we could work as a couple, and that she wants to potentially give us a shot.
Then she falls asleep and wakes up talking to me about another guy, an NFL game, and a potential sleepover with him.
**How am I supposed to reconcile those two things?**
Part of me also wants to ask her how she would feel if the situation were reversed. If I had just told her I wanted to give us a shot, told her I cared about her more than anyone, and then immediately sent her screenshots about another girl I was seeing, would she honestly be completely okay with that?
I’m not trying to make her choose me or tell her she can’t see this guy. I just don’t know whether I should say something about how this made me feel or leave it alone because we’re technically still friends.
What would you do in my position? Would you bring it up, or give her some space and see what happens?