u/-OGbrainsss-

We’ve been doing tummy rubs, bicycle legs, warm bath, warm washcloth on belly, our pediatrician had us give her an oz of pear juice today. Me and mom are so freaked out and we just want her to poop and be okay, she is 9.5 weeks. It’s been around the same time she gets really upset at night, not the usual witching hour but loud cries. Her tummy isn’t swollen it still feels soft, anyone else been through this? Have some wisdom? Can lower my panic a bit ? She has been passing gas and peeing

I can’t get over this overwhelming physical fear/anxiety
I love my partner and baby soo much.

For a little context we lost our first baby last July, her body forced labor at 19 weeks and he only survived a couple of hours. This was the most heartbreaking thing we have experienced, and to get pregnant we had to do sooooo much, it took so long. And suddenly we are pregnant again, I know this sounds ignorant but we were doing everything to try and didn’t think about it. It’s not that we didn’t want another baby, we just needed to heal, and that got put on the back burner I felt like once we were pregnant again. It’s always on my mind but I have this sweet little girl now that needs us.

Our baby girl arrived June 3 and had had her good nights and very rough nights. She just screams at me when I’m trying to calm her but as soon as mom takes over she’s chilling. This is heartbreaking for me because I just feel like I’m doing everything wrong.
I help change diapers
I do all the chores, including cleaning and sanitizing bottles and pump parts. My goal has been to keep my partner fed, and not have to have her worry about a single chore around the house.

Does the extreme physical anxiety/fear start to lessen at all? This is more so a question for newborn dads, I don’t want to be that person and say my baby hates me because she’s still developing.

What are things you try to make the witching hours better ? Ours is generally starting around midnight and goes for a good 4 hours of fussiness, attaches to mom’s boob, happy for a minute, scream cries again, demands boob, rinse and repeat. I’ve always had sensory issues with high pitched noises to it just activates something in my brain that makes me think my once tough self is not so tough and actually a scared little man. I want my partner and baby to be happy, I want to experience joy, but it’s almost like my parasympathetic system isn’t allowing it.

Our baby was born Wednesday June 3. We have been home since Friday. Our first pediatrician appointment is tomorrow and I’m just counting the hours. I feel bad, I don’t want to be self pity but I’ve never felt this level of terror before in my life, I love her so much and just want to feel like I’m doing more. I’ve been feeding wifey while she feeds baby, cleaning, staying on top of dishes and pump parts. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing when I’m holding my baby, I feel like it’s wrong no matter what I do, I’ve gotten more comfortable sitting with here and rocking with her in the chair, but I’m awful at burping and it causes me so much anxiety. Wifey so far is a rock star and I’m just trying to do what I can to be as supportive for them both, I’m on leave for the next 5 and a half weeks. Please dads, any advice helps.
She hasn’t been to fussy as of yet, only with gas it seems, milk has come in at full force so she isn’t cluster feeding the last 2 nights.

When she sleeps she’s a very sleepy baby.