I'm 5'0.5 according to my doctors and it's like. Ik I'm still a teenager but I don't even see much hope for me growing another 2 inches. You're supposed to stop growing shortly after your first period And I had my period 4 years ago. The only shoes I feel comfortable wearing are platforms because they make me feel taller and less... Weird yk?
2 years and I'm not over it. It's kinda sad isn't it? Like really sad. I want her back kinda. I miss it. Ik it was horrible for me but. I just feel sad. And I want that feeling again. But nobody will be her, and I will never be 12 again.
So, kind of like the post says. I chose the name Emmett because I really liked it and it was the first name I wanted and even though I went through a lot of names it's the name I stuck with. It also goes really well with my middle and last name which I'm not changing. Though, my mom doesn't like it because of the connotation with Emmett Till. I'm not changing Emmett but I need some ideas to bring her around to it.
For me, I remember distinctly wondering if being non-binary and wanting to present masculine or like a boy was trans it's not in every case but in mine it was :>
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I don't really want super thick locs. I want them more on the side but I don't want them to be too thin to the point it'll be perceived as automatically feminine.
I don't want to be a boy. Why is it always trans *boys* or tboys. I want to be a man. I don't want the weight of this sort of infantilization of trans men within both the queer and somewhat in the trans community. When I'm 18, I want to be a trans man. This isn't even dysphoria in the sense I'm not a boy it's dysphoria in the sense that I always will be perceived as a boy.
I tend to notice it less for trans women they usually aren't called trans girls all that much really. They are sometimes but I usually see trans girl for well trans children, in which they are a girl because age.
So. Today was the last showing of my school play, and my best friend is a senior. It just finally processed to me this is one of the last things we will do together. Because he's graduating.
The show today and yesterday were both amazing and I should be happy but I can't stop crying. My best friend is going to leave. And I won't be able to see him until I graduate.
And none of my other friends really like me that much and we're not really close and we won't ever do anything and they don't like me so I'm going to be all alone again.
I should be happy. He's graduating, the school year went well for him, the school year went well for me, the show was great, but I can't do anything other than cry. I'm going to miss him and I'm so upset.
I love my hair, it's wonderful, but I hate getting it done. I had to go get braids today but it didn't go well.
Yesterday, I couldn't leave school till about 17:00 and that's when I started taking down my braids. I worked on taking down my braids until 00:00 . My sister went to bed early, my mom wasn't home, and so I was doing it by myself.
Part of the reason it took forever is because I likely have ADHD (not diagnosed, so I'm not going to say I do.). And I still had to wash my hair and I skipped over detangling because i was tired and it was one in the morning and I had to wake up at 8:00.
So we arrive at the person doing my hair's place and I am extremely tender-headed, but I have not cried from getting my hair done since I was like.... 10 or 11. But this time? It hurted like hell. We were there for like two nearly 3 hours and I literally could not do it. I had to call my mom to come pick me up because I couldn't get braids today because I was kind of melting down.
Now my appointment is rescheduled for tomorrow and I'm getting twists instead of braids. It's kind of embarrassing to have to have it rescheduled because of how much I cried. I kinda wish I had more friends who are black because I want somebody to talk about this with but I really don't have any black friends. :/
But yeah! That was the horrible experience of getting my hair done today 😛