u/ACHARED

Very vulnerable post, please be kind.

I've been suffering from psoriasis for about a decade now - back of my head, eyelids, elbows, knees. In the last couple years, I've had it spread to my intimate areas. Both genitals and below. The cream that usually fixes the other areas is.. impossible to apply there. I have female anatomy and I'm quite unsure about putting anything down there, and as far as the other area goes, going to the bathroom makes the cream useless as it's just wiped off. I haven't consulted my GP about this as I'm honestly quite embarrassed. Before I ask them, I thought I'd ask this group if there's anything else I can do? Is there a way to apply the cream so it doesn't get wiped, is there anything that's *not* a cream that I could ask for? Thank you.

I've been subbed to this subreddit for years now, although I've never really participated - just took advice quietly to try and pass better in my day to day life. I feel like something's changed recently in the attitude of users towards other users, though. I don't know how to describe it other than - per title - a general aura of unpleasantness permeating this space. There's almost a sort of snide satisfaction (at least that's how it reads to me) in a lot of comments on posts of people who are alt or even slightly feminine when it comes to telling them they don't pass. Like those comments/commenters derive particular pleasure from getting to tell someone alt/fem that they don't pass and need to change to do so. And I wanna really emphasize this: they're usually not wrong. Yes, alt guys are easier to clock. Feminine guys too, obviously. This is absolutely true. But it's the tone with which this information is conveyed that's increasingly making me wanna leave this place. This isn't coming from personal hurt, either. I'm like the vast majority of guys here - I'm the plainest guy that's ever existed. I've got a buzzcut, wear plain dark slightly loose shirts, bind, wear almost exclusively cargos or sweatpants. I'm not on T but I pass perfectly day-to-day. It just saddens me to witness this borderline cruelty and lack of care some guys here exhibit towards those they perceive to be doing "transness" wrong. There's a difference between well-meaning honesty and unnecessary harshness/cruelty. It doesn't have to be like this.

I just wanted to share this with someone, so I'm choosing to put it here.

I never thought I'd be able to get a diagnosis. I have zero support from family in any mental health matters, I'm financially dependent on my parents (I'm in uni), I didn't know where to turn, I was worried my GP wouldn't take me seriously whatsoever, I couldn't stomach the idea of a waitlist. My country's healthcare system seemed like some sort of maze I'd never manage to wade through, I didn't have the first clue about how to approach this. I'd sort of made peace, over the years, with the probability I'd never be diagnosed and I'd always live in this limbo of 'I'm probably autistic, but what if I'm not? What else explains all my issues then?'

Yet recently I was able to save up to be assessed privately, and—as expected—I'm officially diagnosed with autism. It's not only the validation of the diagnosis itself I'm basking in though, it's all the things that were pointed out to me post-assessment that I didn't even know/notice about myself. My speech, body language (or lack thereof), my facial expressions, and such things. Like I mentioned, I've always been worried about the very real chance I'm just...wrong. I've also worried I'd somehow deceive these professionals into getting a diagnosis. But to know there are things about me that are patently autistic that I had no idea about, that I didn't even realize how autistic I appear just existing... it feels good. It feels good to know without a shadow of a doubt that I fit this diagnosis, and it feels good that I couldn't have faked it if I tried.

I can't help myself, I can tell the barbant animations are a little kooky but I love it. My favorite breed otherwise is the finnhorse - I feel like this says a lot. That's it, I just had to get this out. (Note: this is not a justification for inadequate animations.)

the stranger = waco, texas ["my honey's heart is blue and a second offbeat" / "yeah, you've changed, but did I ever know you? or did I hold you facing away from me?" not-them, etc]

the end - pulldrone ["one, apathy; i am what i am and i am nothing"]

the dark - punish ["in the morning, i will mar myself again" - also vibes based]

the corruption - inbred ["watching him through holes in his door, sucking on the back of his leg to stay warm" / "something smells rotten and it's starting to spread"]

the desolation = ptolemaea ["even the iron still fears the rot"]

the lonely = tempest ["i've heard it before from someone who leaves" / waiting on my own, always on my own"]

the spiral = houseofpsychoticwomn ["i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you"]

the web = i honestly don't know - open to suggestions

the eye = lillies ["watching me undress, standing in the door" / "tell me, can i be seen through?" / "you know my weakness"]

the flesh = strangers ["freezer bride, your sweet divine, you devour like smoked bovine hide, how funny, i never considered myself tough"] [honorable mention: famous last words (an ode to eaters)]

the hunt = thoroughfare [the whole song - isaiah hunts ethel]

the slaughter = stomping ground ["so you won't see me coming / to put your knife right in the heart you always hid from me"]

the vast = radio towers [you just have to understand this]

the buried = dust bowl [title - dust bowls belong to the buried]

the extinction - janie ["i can see the end in the beginning of everything"]

I've been playing for well over a decade and I swear I remember this being an option, locking north at the top (and other cardinal directions). I hate the compass rotating in the new areas, disorients me when I'm still unfamiliar with the area. I can't find the setting though. Help?

https://preview.redd.it/kim1zxawoa1h1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=5a8efd1cb6f4d3edef148132c4d888aa74cc3372

This isn't so much a vent, I just need to write it down and tell somebody. On Monday, I nicked the artery in my leg. Had to go to the ER to get it stitched. The surgeon told me that if I hadn't come, I'd be dead. Full stop. It scared me so badly. I never want to do that again.

(Can ask questions if interested in more details)

I'm in my mid 20s, been cutting for many years now with few signs of stopping. I cut pretty deep, into fat and to fascia, resulting in some pretty substantial scars. I see a lot of people in the wider SH community talk about scar reduction (and good for them!) or laser treatments to eradicate them, and similar things. Me, I don't want to do that. Despite the stigma. I genuinely love my scars, I love that they're big, I'm often disappointed if they're not up to my standard. Does anyone else feel this way? I'm feeling a bit like an outsider.