u/Aardvark_Adorable

Selling NYC Summerstage tickets, GA Bleachers, for $140 per ticket OBO

I’m curious what people would do in my shoes. I’m currently 8w6d and I have to decide in the next couple of weeks whether I want to do a cerclage or not. My practice only does Shirodkar cerclage, so I would need a spinal for both insertion and removal. I’m wondering if it’s worth the risks, since it’s unclear whether I really have IC or if it was caused by an infection. The doctors don’t know what came first.

I had a TMFR D&E with my first pregnancy at 16 weeks due to a genetic disorder. A year later, I lost my second pregnancy at 22.5 weeks due to preterm labor. I seemed to have started contractions which I mistook for constipation, and didn’t go to the hospital until I saw my sac come out of my vagina. At the hospital, they said there was nothing they could do because they couldn’t see my cervix anymore. I labored for 10 hours before they broke my water manually and I delivered my son. As far as I could tell, he was born sleeping. To this day, I’m not sure if my placenta abrupted before or after his birth. The hospital records are inaccurate because they notated that he breathed for 2 hrs before dying. That is not true. Either way, my placenta came out immediately after and I didn’t need a follow up D&C.

My placenta came back with mild (not severe) chorioamnionitis. I do recall that leading up to my preterm birth, I had a lot of vaginal discharge, such that my pantyliner would sometimes smell by midday. In hindsight, I should have gotten checked for BV, but I was really busy at the time and didn’t think anything was wrong (I’ve had BV in the past, and it’s always caused severe itching, so I thought this couldn’t have been it).

Post-birth, I did an endometrial biopsy, where we found endometritis that I took antibiotics for — unclear if that was related to the placenta infection but could be.

My cervix also shortened really fast: at my 20 week scan, it was 3.1 cm. 2.5 weeks later, it was fully dilated.

In my current third pregnancy, I’m now seeing a MFM. Regardless of cerclage, I would get weekly cervical length screenings, and if my cervix falls short, they’ll do an ultrasound-indicated cerclage. However, I can still decide whether I want a historical indicated cerclage at 14 weeks. Part of me wants to get a cerclage because it’s been 2.5 years now and I have two dead babies and no living child. However, part of me is scared about the risks of the procedure and thinks that if I am careful, I can avoid a repeat situation. For example, my husband and I had sex frequently during my previous pregnancies, but I’m avoiding all sex now to try to minimize infections. Of course, if I actually do have really IC, I would need a cerclage anyway.

Curious if anybody has been in this gray area of “maybe IC” and what you did about it. Or if you have thoughts on what you would do if you were me. Thanks!

For those of you who went to the Chicago concert, did he have a band? A chorus? A trumpet? Was there improv on any of the songs?

I remember the 10 year Acid Rap show and he had a chorus of 3 and a trumpet. Major improv on a few songs, esp Ultralight Beam. Curious if the new concert tour is like that or is he being lazier than before?

Thanks!

I lost my only son at 23 weeks of pregnancy 7 months ago. The first few months were awful. I never thought I’d go through something like that.

Now, 7 months later, most days are good. My husband and I have moved on in many ways. We enjoy life, we go on trips, we go out to eat, we go to concerts, we hang out with friends. I got a new exciting job that pays almost twice as much that I’m so excited about. I enjoy my hobbies.

But a lot has changed too. I’ve narrowed down my pool of friends significantly. I’m careful about who I let in, and I’ve cut contact with many. I keep my close friends closer now, and I’ve consciously let go of friends who I thought were close but never checked in or acknowledged my loss. It was hard at first, but now I see it as good — I no longer feel anxious about maintaining those friendships and put my energy into things that make me happier.

We’re pregnant again too. I’m going in for my first ultrasound tomorrow. I’m so nervous.

I’m not really sure where I was going with this post. Something compelled me to write this. I guess I just wanted to say that it gets better, but it still hurts from time to time, knowing what you lost and what you can never get back. But the day to day is ok. Better in some ways — more settled, less frantic, I feel more mature. But I know I carry the grief with me always, even if I’m not looking at it all the time, which feels… not good, or bad, just is I guess.

I got my beta back today at 10dp5dt/15dpo and it was 136. My last pregnancy (which I lost in the second trimester) had a beta of 340 at 14dpo so this seems low for me.

Has anybody had a 15dpo beta that’s similar to mine? How did your pregnancy end up?

TW: previous FET success and late term loss

I’m doing what I think is a modified natural FET although I’m not quite sure. My doctor has had me on birth control for the past month and I’ll do a baseline this week. I’ll be on Letrozole after that for several days. He also had me order Ovidrel, diazepam, and methylprednisolome although it’s unclear if I’ll be using those.

Is this a modified natural FET?

I’ve been TTC for two years now. My first FET last year was with a different clinic, and we did completely natural (not drugs at all, we ended up transferring on a Sunday) and it stuck (lost baby at 23 weeks, unclear what the cause was). My new clinic does not offer the same flexible schedule.

Given that a completely natural cycle worked for me last time, what do you recommend I do to prepare for this modified natural cycle? I want to make sure I give it the best chance of success.

Thanks!

I had an endometrial biopsy 1.5 months ago and tested positive for chronic endometritis CD138. I took three weeks of doxycycline 100mg twice a day, and two weeks of metronidazole 500mg twice a day.

I did another biopsy the day after I finished antibiotics. The results just came back:

Total CD138 count in 10 HPFs: 7; range per HPF: 0–1. Findings not specific and clinical significance unknown.

I’m freaking out. I’m worried I booked my biopsy too soon after antibiotics but there were no other times available. I have an FET scheduled for June and I’m worried I won’t get to do it now. I’m wondering if others can speak to what they did if they got similar results??

I lost a baby December of last year at 23 weeks, with what appears to be cervical insufficiency but we’re not 100%, and won’t know until my next pregnancy. I also had some minor infections detected on the placenta. We buried our dear boy a few weeks after. I also had a previous TFMR in 2024. It’s been a very sad 2 years. We’re now doing IVF and trying for an FET soon.

I went to an online support group in January after my loss and one of the moms there was also living in NYC so we exchanged numbers and met up in person. It’s blossomed into a beautiful relationship so far. We’re cheering each other on in our IVF journeys, and I often find she’s the only one who really “gets it” and all the complicated feelings and ups and downs surrounding it.

I’m wondering if there are others in the NYC area who would like to connect? I’m at the stage where I’m starting to find more joy in other parts of my life, and even gaining hope as we move further down the IVF journey. Of course, things are still up and down. My transfers may not work, and even if I get pregnant past the first trimester, there is no guarantee that my baby will be born alive. We still don’t fully know what happened. But most days are pretty good right now, and I’m looking for deeper friendships, and more people in my life who just understand what it’s like to go through something like this.

I had a stillbirth late last year.

I have many friends from my 20s who I used to be pretty good at keeping in touch with. Many are those I went to college with and knew very well for many years, and they’re scattered all over the country now. Most don’t live in my city.

I used to do monthly 1-1 calls after moving away from many of them 2 years ago. However, after my stillbirth, I stopped my regular calls and stopped reaching out. A week after my loss, I texted everyone who I had told about the baby about my stillbirth and told them not to ask me about it. I felt like most people couldn’t relate, and I didn’t want people to hear me in my sadness and stupor.

A few months after the loss, I was the loneliest. I was also genuinely surprised by how few people reached out to check in on me. Out of maybe 10 friends who don’t live in my city, only 2 reached out consistently, and made efforts to call me and just listen to me talk and cry. The others have never texted, or made half-hearted efforts ie said they would call me a certain time and never called or texted again for months.

Since then, because I naturally stopped talking to my old remote friends, I’ve focused more on my friends who live in my city. They have been the best. They come over when I don’t feel like going out, and just sit with me on my couch for hours. I’ve also made new friends through loss groups in my city, and strengthened previous acquaintances into true friendships. I feel very grounded and happy with my circles in my city now. For the first time in months, I feel genuinely grateful — for my new friend groups, and for also making me realize that I don’t need to make so much effort to maintain remote friendships that don’t serve me, even if they were important to me many years ago.

This month, now 6 months after my loss, a couple of the old remote friends who went dark/didnt make true effort after my loss have reached out again. I honestly don’t even know what to say and have left them on read so far. These are women who I used to be suuuuuper close to. I personally can’t imagine if my close friend had a tragic event, that I wouldn’t take a minute out of my busy week to just text “Thinking of you”, or next time I sit down to watch a TV show or movie, to spend it calling my friend instead.

The one who said she’d call months ago and never did recently sent a text that acknowledges that she’s been “busy with work, which is a poor excuse” and wanted to set some time to talk. I am not even angry or mad, and I just feel almost sorry for her that these are her priorities and that this is how she’d treat a close friend, and have no desire to resume our friendship the way it was before, and I especially don’t want to let her in on the details of my life anymore. However, I don’t want her to hate me either. I still keep in touch with others in our old circle, and I will be seeing her at a wedding this year. I don’t feel any ill will towards her.

How do you demote old close friends? How do you maintain friendly relations without letting them in on your life? What should I say? Should I just pretend like I’ve been busy with life too and say I forgot to respond when I see her next? (Similar to what she did to me) that’s basically my strategy so far

I recently had a stillbirth at 24 weeks, and one of the issues associated with the timing of the preterm birth is cervical insufficiency, which could be a genetic thing for some people (ie collagen deficiencies). It’s really hard to tell though because there’s many things associated with preterm birth. However, I am curious and want to dig further by looking into my genetics.

My friends have talked about how they uploaded their 23andMe data to chatGPT and have gotten some findings that resonate with them, which prompt them to take supplements or eat differently or pay attention to different things.

I’m hoping to learn something about my genetic health risks so that my next pregnancy can be the best it can be (of course, I will also see a MFM high risk doctor). I’m wondering what kind of sequencing I should do? I’m worried about doing WGS because it’s too much data for ChatGPT to process. Should I do something smaller? Is 23andMe even around still? What do you guys recommend?

I took the trigger shot last night with Leuprolide and HCG and I’ve been feeling nauseous since noon. A couple hours after eating my lunch, I threw it all up. I’m trying to keep my dinner down now and it’s not easy…

I read other posts of people saying they had similar symptoms with the trigger shot. I’ve done this 4 times before but I dont recall having these symptoms before… this cycle has been overall worse because I didn’t react to the medication as much and needed a higher dosage so maybe that’s why symptoms are just worse all around (feeling more tired than my other cycles).

How long does it take for you to recover from this? I’m going in for my retrieval tomorrow (friday) but I have in-person job interview Monday and Tuesday and I’m wondering if I should ask to move them before the week is over.