u/AdGloomy1946

Budgies produce a lot of dander and can cause bids fanciers disease. This disease ultimately causes lungs scaring and fibrosis.

About 2 weeks ago, I had tonsil problem with a runny nose and dry cough, went to a pharmacy and was prescribed antibiotics, gastrics meds, anti cold allergy meds, anti inflamation meds (3 days) all these for total 15 days. After finishing the medicine my tonsil and cold cough problem was solved.

But, these past 4-5 days, i feel like i have shortness of breath, chest feels heavy when trying to breathe in. I felt sharp pain in middle of lungs and numbess in lower part of lungs or ribs in my back, when trying to taking full deep breaths. When i try to take a deep breath it feels like something is stuck, it doesnor hurt, and another with another breath i can finally take deep breathe. The pain has greatly decreased today.

I have no weight loss, loss of appetite, fever or night sweats.

After tb, i always have this anxiety, if something feels off in my chest, i run to a doctor. Done the same once in past, and was told i had gastrics. Also, the pain in my chest might be from, me forcing deep breaths when anxious.

I have important exams this week, but this time it also feels different, so i plan to go for a checkup the next week.

So whats real is that, my lungs have become very sensitive to infections, all what i am feeling now might be aftereffects of 15 days of different meds and that tonsil infection

So, me keeping budgies knowing they might be the reason for my next infection is giving me health anxiety.

I have about 15 of them and been keeping them since last 7-8 years. i have greatly reduced their numbers over the past months, their cage is outside in the balcony, so i am exposed to dander onky when i go near them or clean their cage. My problem is that I impulsively add more and their number also increase after they have chicks .

To stop keeping budgies seems like a overall better decision but my attachment to them over the years had made it very difficult to do so.

25 aauna dherai easy.

last 5 years ko theory yekpatak heryo, 30-35 marks heryo, theory matra heryo, j aauxa tei gaff lekhyo, 1 din padhyo, 25 aauxa sajilai. Yeuta duita qn ajhai padhxu, 32 ta aauxa ni bhanne hunxa.

but 32?

32 lai jasto dukha kei lai xaina.

50-60 marks ko khatrai prepare huna paryo.

Last 10 years ko old qn herna paryo.

Yeuta part prepare garxu bhana, ta hunxa ta? No, backs ra batchout ma qns aaidinxa out of pattern.

Basic electrical ko dc part dherai prepare garera jau, exam ma aauxa Ac ko dherai.

each and every chapter hernu paryo, sakeko samma.

theory subjects like dl, embedded, dsa, computer network, internet intranet, instru 2, data comunication with 2-3 ota or more numericals xa bhane, numerical jasari ni garnu paryo, at least wrong attempt bhaya ni. Natra tei 25.

Lagxa hola theory nai 35-40 marks ko xa yo subject ko, 1-2 numerical herxu sure pass, like applied mechanics, thermodynamics, but no, kati aauxa ta yei padhya? again 25.

Dherai marks prepare garyo, tesai ma ni arko problem, revise nagarya padheko napadheko yeutai.

Revision xaina? bisriyo aba formula ra method, yeta ko uta formula halera exam hall baira, kati aauxa yeso garda? Again 25.

Yo exam ma 20 marks ko padhya, arko pali yo thorai padhxu, aru ma focus garxu? nope doesnot work.

especially maths, jati nai sj maths tube herya ni, last ma exam qns nai practise gareko xaina bhane, kura finished, kati aauxa ta result ma? Again 25.

Luck lagera pass hola ta? Bichara bhanera pass gardine subject xa ta kunai? Xa, microprocessor, exactly 35 marks ko lekhya ni pass hunxau.

Baki subjects ma yesto hune is zero chance?

Jati nai attempt gara, timi jati nai extra year liyara basa, jati nai frustrate bhaera basa, jati nai royera basa, jati nai problems bhayani timro life ma, jati nai bhagwan lai pray gara, timle 50-60 ko majjale a to z preparation nagarya, numericals namilaya.

KATI AUUXA TA, 25!!!

It feels like my body has gotten really weaker than before. Of course its natural. i nearly died because of lung tb. They had to drain 2 litres of pleural fluid from my lungs.

9 months of high doses of antibiotics should surely leave some lifelong effects on the organs such as kidneys and liver, right?

Since the treatment, i have very bad pimples, if i miss my sleep schedule even by an hour, the next day i get big big under the skin pimples, almost everyday i have at least one new or recovering pimple on my face these days, which eventually leaves a mark on my face, they go away as long as i take antibiotics and then reappear after i stop.

Also, now i cant enjoy a beer or a cig with my friends without freaking out or being anxious about tb realpse, even having a few beers now affects my stomach for 3-4 days, i get nausea, gastrics and diarrhea .

I did not get these problems before, even while doing the same activities.

Theres this tiredness that i cannot explain, a litlle inclined road and my hearts racing for more air. Going on hikes and trekking feels not possible. Also going to cold high places is scary cause i might relapse or suffer from low oxygen.

When I walk with a faster pace, i sweat all around my face and body. This makes me avoid physical excercise and i have become fat. Diet or reducing calories scare me, cause i think low calories will weaken my immune system and i will relaspe, i over ate for months after the treatment was over to gain back my weight. Now i am struggling to loose weight.

My nose gets clogged even if i sit near a running fan for 10 minutes, i start coughing, drinking cold water immediately causes runny nose, dry cough or clogged nose.

Then there's reduced lung capacity. The scarring or tissue damage is there forever. Somedays it feels like i am not getting enough air, taking deep breaths feels like i cant stretch my lungs fully.

Also, the operation scars from pleural fluid draining, hurt, when i stand for a long time or do some heavy works. The pain goes away only after i lay down.

So, its feels like the treatment has given me a disability. I cant do physical work to earn money. You would have to work 8-10 hrs shifts, but for me it wont be possible.

Then comes anxiety about my health. A simple cough, or a heavy feeling in chest, or when i feel like i am not getting enough air or my lungs are not expanding properly, it gives me anxiety like did i have a relapse or other serious infections like pneumonia. It worries me till the cough is cured. I will be running for medicines even when i have runny nose for a day.

Also, theres a stigma around tb, my parents have not even shared that i had tb even to their own siblings. They say i would have problems later in marriage or people would gossip. I have not even told my friends except one or two, even them i have not provided full details.

If i was not diagnosed in time, i know it would have been fatal. So, being alive is better than the other, even if i have these problems.

Somedays i forget what trauma me and my body had been through and i have a beer or cig, but a little heaviness and chest burn after the cig and i donot not touch it for 2-3 months, only to repeat the cycle later.

which settings to change?

its annoying cause for every app download appstore asks wether to download on cellular or later on wifi.

Been 5 years already, having lubg tb was a traumatic experience in my life, had to go through pleural effusion draining operations two times during 9 months of meds.

Didnot touch alcohol or cigs during and 1.5 years after the treatment was complete.

I have bad lung scarring and my operation scars from pleural effusion drainings, still hurt when i stand in a place for long hrs, lift some heavy weights or when i walk long hrs.

I know asking the question in the title looks so stupid after i tell you what i had been through and what problems i still have from those years of treatment.

But when my mental state is really bad, when i am depressed, anxious, especially during the exams, when life is stressful, cause i had failed many exams cause of hospital stays. Sometimes i find myself negotiating the whole day on whether to have a cig or not, and somedays i give in and have one cig.

I know cigs are bad for me, my chest burns after a cig and i immediately feel light headed after having a cig, maybe its because of long gap between cigs.

Have you been through this? What are your views on this situation?

Back ko pelai lya anxiety depression ko meds khane samma pugna sakxau. Book hernai nasakne huna sakxau. Future ko dreams, aspirations sab haraune huna ni sakxau. Last ma pasal kholera basne ya khadi muluk janu parne situation aauna sakxa.

Sathi haru kata kata pugxan, timro life stuck sadhai lai 3-4 barsa.

Intrest nai xa bhane, Padhne nai bhaya TU bahek aru uni join huda ni hunxa, ali sajilo hunxa pass huna. Ani first sem dekhi seriously padhnu paryo. Each sem 2 bhanda dherai back lagauna bhayana.

recently pass gareko lya k kati padhyau, tips share gara na

I think, I am in denial.

Most time when i get an urge, i tell myself is you will be doing it anyhow, don't waste time on resisting it, just get it done and save the additional time and misery.

You are a 25 year man with no girlfriend, no female friends, you are in no mindset to look for a girlfriend, cause real girls means rejections, insecurities and long term investment, why spend all this time, and not just fap and get rid of the urge.

And its natural for you to feel the urge to have sex when you see a beautiful girl, what can do even do about it. The easiest fastest way to stop this urge is to watch porn or fantasize and fap.

Somedays i tell myself, its just the stress about life, and porn and fap help you feel positive when i am depressed as hell.

On the other hand, i know this has become a habit, doesnot matter the ocassion, porn is there in both my sucess to celebrate and in failures to make me feel better, failures mostly outnumbering the success.

So if i could describe myself i am a faatass, degenerate, who has big ambitions about his life but is currently flunking out his university exams, while his friends have moved on in their lives with degree, jobs and relationships.

I would describe myself as a porn addict looser, who is scared shitless about talking to real girls, thinks he doesnot deserve a girl cause hes a man with no self control and want girlfriend only for sexx. Thinks the only way he would get sexx is though hoookers. I am someone who is insecure of his weight, face full of pimple scars but doesnot eat healthy or excercise and also is stressed about academic performance but cant or wont sit down and study cause he feels anxiety and negative thoughts of future, but at the same time stays in denial that a bit more effort and he could make some progress.

I have been diagnose with anxiety and mild depression from docs. Was given meds, but stopped them feeling scared after 3 weeks.

I have been using porn from a really young age 10-12years old, on and off, abused it when times were tough in life, and i get this feeling like maybe the way i am is because i escaped to porn all the times i had even minor stressors in life, so i have never learned the healthy ways and mindset to cope with stress than to escape through fap or surf the internet. And now after all these years, at 25, i have made this strong habit, so changing things are extra difficult.

the only way to be sure that porn has been the cause all along, is to do nofap and no porn, but i have only made it to 2-3 days of nofap streak till now.

What i am trying to ask is does this situation feel familiar to any of you here? How are you doing now?

https://discord.gg/E6wx9hVWy

So, batchout exams shrawan month ma nahune ho yo anusar

Regular exams tei bhadra ma hola.

1,3,5 ra 7th ko exam sangai hunxa, batchout ra 7th semester regular ko, bhanxa

So bhadra ma batchout ra regular hune and tespaxi even back

even back ni dashain agi nai sakinxa hola, dashain kartik tira xa. Asoj mai saklan even backs. Back hune bhanya tei 2 weeks ta ho.

Any info on batchout exams?

Bruh, feri exams ko tanab huna lagyo.

I dont remember clearly, but i think it was 20 or 22 days time before the exam, in falgun or chaitra batchout exam.

Okay movie to watch if your looking for something average horror.

Has mythology, good horror noises, mental health stuff and climax engaging.

4-5 people in my class did this.

I am now thinking, if they had figured out the system they needed to pass the exam even before bachlors. All of them are passouts and most of them barely failed exams.

Maybe they felt study anxiety, could not focus, so they made this system to pass exams.

The mistakes i made, first, was when you hangout with people who only have backs. I know nobody wants backs, everyones have dreams goals and their own expectations.

Some had study anxiety like me, some had terrible migranes when they tired to study, some were constantly escaping from studying. This one person, failed 4-5 subjects every semester like me, but got 60 in physics back exam, but skipped all other exams. So, it really was not about the ability.

But, when you are in a group where most of them fail all or only pass 2 exams, it becomes your normal. and there nobody knows how to get of that loop.

Only when you ask your friends who have actually passed the exams, you will get a feeling of like passing can also be possible and its normal. Some will even teach you on how to study to pass.

That kinda worked for me. Cause in 6th sem i was in minor project group with such students. I started failing less subjects, suddenly passing felt not so hard or complicated. Studied 2-3 days for internal exams, started preparing old past qns, reading from correct resources, before i was buying useless insights, gave internal exams, and number of backs decreased.

The previous group had basically given up, some dropped out and some skipped classes.

But all went to hell after being batchout, no social circle, anxiety worn, exams won.

Movies like

Korean: Burning, Obsession, i saw the devil, the housemaid,

French: Manon of the spring, the beautiful troublemaker,

Thai: The green papaya

Japanese: Under your bed, the world of kanako, destruction babies

With actresses that made you think that gods made her with patience and care, a true work of art.

With nudes or sex scenes. Feel good movies to just relax in holidays.

Recenlty into turkish, iranian movies. older ones. They are chill, soft pace of stories, dont have nude scenes, but wholesome to watch.

1st sem- phy, applied, math 1, basic electrical

3rd sem- em, edc, math 3, ect, toc, oop

5th sem- instru 2, data com

This attempt these were these subjects i had prepared about 25 marks, but didnot give exam: math 1, math 3, toc, oop, instru 2, dat com

I am more confident in these, than other subjects.

So we might get about 2 months of time before shrawan batchout exams.

Most likely those exams will have 3 semesters (1,3,5) exams back to back like regular.

Which subjects do is choose? My goal is to reduce maximum number of backs.

I am gonna give at least a week for each subject and go to college library to study as soon as the regular classes start. Can't study anything in my room.

Also, i dont have 7th sem backs, so i might get a month to prepare for back exams.

2nd sem- math 2, thermo

4th sem- machine, nm

6th sem- economics

scared of machine. others feel doable. Like odd sem exams, except machine i had prepared 25 marks of each remaining back subjects, but didnot attempt the exam.

1st sem- phy, applied, math 1, basic electrical

2nd sem- math 2, thermo, drawing 2, basic electrical

3rd sem- panel

4th sem- micro, machine, nm, maths, dsa

5th sem- probabilty, instru 2, data com, coa

6th sem- economics, embedded, dbms

7th sem- comp network

8th sem- intranet

so, i had like 29 backs out of maybe 56 subjects, in 4 years, I passed 6 backs in 3 years of giving backs. The number was 23 when i was batchout. I am 76 batch, BCT.

Right now, i am on 17 backs total. So, theres a kind of pattern this time too, i passed 6 backs in 2 years.

Fucked up all the exams of this attempt, skipped most of the exams, even of subjects i had prepared 2-3 chapters before the exam. Even subjects with 10 day gaps like economics. Before i could study 2-3 days due to panic, but this time nope, just gave up, didnot touch a single book in 2 months of exams.

There's something seriously wrong with me. What were my parents even thinking allowing me to study engineering after the 4th semester, me passing just one or two exams every semester.

Might just have ADHD or anxiety like one of redditor brother said.

Its not laziness, its not carelessness, i did not neglect my future, i was not sitting there, not giving back exams even before 4 years. I was giving exams, and each time failing with 20 plus marks, which says not enough preparation. I cant count how many of these backs i have had 25 marks in the result. I gave same subjects 2-3 times to just pass.

I was never happy, exams stress is always there. All these years all i feel is anxiety, stress, shame, regret, helplessness and like somethings wrong inside me.

So, i was always the same, that why i have the same pattern of result even now.

please help