u/Admirable_Emu_2270

I wondered if anyone else here has a rescue dog who was previously used for hare coursing, but is now living as a pet. Hare coursing is illegal in the UK (for sport anyway) so dogs are often abandoned as evidence, found as strays and sent to rescue centres. It's highly likely my boy was one.

I've had him for a year and his transition into home life has been interesting. An extremely timid dog, but when he's driven, he's DRIVEN. Overall he's taken to home life well but we have come a very long way. As my first dog he's been fairly quirky.

I couldn't find relevant posts so please let me know if you've had a similar situation and how your dog has transitioned. I imagine it's an entirely different life from what they knew. It would be interesting to hear others experiences.

I need to share my progress. I never thought I'd be here.

I adopted Zack 1 year ago, almost to the day. He was shut down in the shelter and had never lived as a pet. He was 2. The following 3 months were a nightmare. Toilet training was a breeze and he's incredibly smart, but his separation anxiety was destroying me. He was attached to me only, so I was in jail. I didn't shower for a long time as even 5 seconds alone was too much for him. I wasn't eating or sleeping enough and every day was a coffee-fuelled battle. I was crying lots and I felt watched 24/7. There's no way out except through. Every spare moment I have is dedicated to training.

6 months... He starts successfully sleeping at night alone. I got a pet cam and I'm doing all the separation anxiety training constantly. I can shower, cook my meals, and I can leave the house for 20 minutes or so before he erupts. I feel isolated and on edge 24/7 still. Me and the dog are hyper-aware of each other's every move.

I have to go to work again so he has to learn 4 hours without me, but with my partner present. The next 4 months were really emotionally difficult. I had to go to work and keep focussed, knowing he's highly distressed every second of it. I cry while I work. My partner also feels depleted, and is also trying to work. I spend my evenings on Reddit looking for similar stories and tips. There's no way out except through. We are all doing the best we can. Keep going.

Over the last couple months, something clicked. Maybe all the training was doing something. Maybe Zack just felt at home now and much safer. Things aren't perfect, but I mostly have my life back. I also have a really great dog. I can leave him at home with my partner for hours without issues. A couple quiet cries but mostly sleeping. He can be fully alone in the house for 4 hours. He makes a little progress every week.

I never thought I'd be here. If you're feeling how I did... depleted, exhausted, isolated... I'd like to bring you some hope that things can improve. I didn't have the money to hire a trainer and I felt completely out of my depth. I was preparing for the hardest part to be permanent.

My dog is my greatest joy in this life and I am so proud of him. These days I don't check the pet cam in fear - I check because my heart fills with joy seeing him snuggled up resting peacefully. It's been amazing seeing how far he's come. He's a different dog now and he's absolutely perfect. We changed each other for the better.

Hi

I have a history of c*tting and bashing my head against stuff or with my fist

I don't know how else to cope with my emotions when they're too heavy and I don't have people to talk to and I can't afford therapy

I need to hurt in some way but without permanent damage. I am very insecure about my scars and can only wear clothing that hides them and my doctor told me the head hitting can cause brain damage and last time I got a black eye and headache for a week

Anyone got tips

Got my dog 9 months ago, aged 3. Very high prey and dog drive. I understand he is a sighthound and is unlikely to ever have perfect recall, but I want to train it as best I can so he has a chance at more freedom.

At the moment, he's on leash for all daily walks, long line perhaps half of those walks, with recall training. Once a week, I take him to a large rented field where he can fully sprint for an hour. He loves these sessions and they help him settle for the week.

I practice recall with him at the field. He mostly stays where he can see me. If he goes too far or chases something, I hide and he runs to find me, or I whistle. He typically runs back to me when I recall him after he's completed a chase, but not before that. The window to spot when he's pre-chase is about half a second. I know to only recall him when he's capable of it and my treats are very high value. I let him go again once he's successfully recalled.

I don't know whether these off leash sessions are teaching him poor recall or just helping him release energy. It's the same field every time, so he probably knows what he can get away with there now, and he knows I'm never far away. I'm stuck between letting him have his fun hour a week and get all the energy out, and changing how we handle the field for recall purposes - e.g. using a long line until he's proven he's more reliable, and he gets less sprinting time..

Any thoughts and opinions are welcome. He's my first dog and I know I'm not the most knowledgeable dog trainer. I'm trying my best from what I can research online. Keep his mad hour for energy release, or restrict him for potential (not guaranteed) future freedom? Middle ground?

29F

Mom raised me alright and kept me physically safe and fed. She liked that I was an easy child. I have autism (diagnosed recently) and was too shy for socialising or activities. She liked that I was cheaper and quieter than my siblings. I didn't want clothes or toys or much at all. Most of my life I've felt out of place and overloaded/depressed. I've always been a people pleaser, so I would bake her cookies and rub her feet to make her like me better. It was easier that way. She would show me off to her friends as I was "skinny and pretty", but I would always say the wrong things and get told off.

She's not ever been somebody I could go to with honesty about my problems and worries. It seemed to make her angry that it was taking from her day. So while I was physically looked after, if anything mollycoddled health-wise, she offered very little emotional support or teachings about the real world. She was very critical of everyone around her who doesn't fit the cookie cutter, beige, "proper" mold. We weren't to have friends over, speak with neighbours or strangers, or even the rest of the family. She didn't expose me to a lot and just expected me to figure it all out myself eventually. She turned me against my dad since I was 9 and they divorced. I couldn't even refer to him as dad.

I was screamed at for telling her I felt depressed and suicidal in high school, after teachers demanded I needed help. She told me I was just being difficult and selfish for making her leave work, and I was not allowed help. My jobs were never enough, I wasn't ever making enough money, I wasn't getting married and giving her grandkids fast enough. I never tried hard enough. If I called her in a moment of stress, she would scold me for something. I just needed warmth.

She then married an a**hole and he verbally abused me so I instantly left home (aged 18) and stayed with friends or in my car. She claims her abuse was worse and mine was never acknowledged. I had a very unstable and unsafe few years, with nobody I could really trust. I was vulnerable and people took advantage and dropped me whenever they wanted. I got into drugs and luckily out again. I had abusive relationships.

I've kept space from her since then. We met up a few times as "she's your mom after all", and she would get people to message me to guilt trip me. I even tried to convince people she's been through a lot and that's why she isn't so nice. She left a bad impression on my partner and his family. Every time I try to let her in, I get shut down and feel worse... I asked if she would be a part of my diagnosis journey and she shut me down and told me all the professionals were wrong. I got cancer and she made it about her.

But I still feel like a dick for not speaking to my mom. I have siblings who are dysfunctional in their own ways, and they all stayed close. I've asked her for space and time but I can't imagine I will ever want her in my life. She isn't a safe person. She gets jealous that I'm close with my partner's mom (she's a warm and caring person and got me the help I needed). She wasn't aggressive with me or hit me (rarely anyway), and I was fed and safe, but as my therapist said, my childhood was filled with emotional neglect. The type she will never fully comprehend, as she "did everything she was supposed to" on the surface, and she hasn't seemed to grow in that area. She complains about her personal relationships a lot. Nobody is good enough.

I live with dread that I'll be in trouble for something, or she's watching me and critiquing me. I fear that when she gets old and passes, my siblings will come for me with emotional ammunition. I've never been close with them either.

How do I get through this? Am I a dick? Thoughts? It worries me I have no contact with my own blood family aside from a new and careful relationship with my dad. I worry that if my partner were to leave me, I'd be without family entirely. But my family make me want to die (not being dramatic. I'm covered in scars). I've been alone before and survived.

I'll delete this eventually in fear she will find it and hurt me. That's how I live my life now it seems. 4 years of therapy hasn't done a whole lot.